[PC] Doki Doki Literature Club! - "My Confession" by NPbus_

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Other
Game: Doki Doki Literature Club!
Console: PC
Title: My Confession
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: NPbus_

[attachment deleted by admin]

[NPbus_]

[NPbus_]

(Updated it with the correct URL at the bottom of the sheet)

[Maelstrom]

Nice job!
A few quick things:
-Slur all grace notes.
-m9 - Use an articulation instead of a smart shape to indicate the rolled chord
-A bit of resizing could go a long way. Shrinking the entire score to 90% would let you fit another system on page one and cut down on the empty space. If you do that, you'll need to redistribute measures in groups of 4, which will leave you with 2 left over systems. You can bring the ending barline left to compensate for that.
-RH m6+9 - You split up the half note into 2 tied quarters in m6 and left it as a half note in m9. I'd recommend making both half notes, because the beat is simple enough.
-RH m23 - since the first beat is the previous voice, why not just apply the 15ma to everything after it.
-m19-22 LH - those chords are much fuller than you have them. Take a listen again.

[Latios212]

I arranged this recently, and while I haven't submitted it yet, you can feel free to use it for reference in regards to formatting and notes.

Aside from Maelstrom's above comments, I'll have more to add later.

[NPbus_]

Alright, the updated files have been put up.

Maelstrom, thanks for the comments! Hopefully, all the edits are in accordance with what you've said. Some comments you mentioned are things I had in my original version of it (like the 15ma comment and the m 6&9 comment) but I changed them around before submitting just to be a bit more on the safe side. Thanks for clarifying all of that.

Latios, thanks for linking your arrangement! It helped out with formatting and a few note quirks that were in the previous one. I've kept some things the same in my arrangement that appeared different in yours (8va that I wrote in on beat 4 of m 11, chord voicings in m 19, etc.), but if these need fixing then I'll get on it right away.

[Khunjund]

Are you afraid of ledger lines, by chance? The 8va section could just be written an octave higher, especially since measures 12 and 13 are in the same range, but one is currently written with 8va and the other isn't. Also, I've never seen a 15ma line in a professional music edition, and would personally move everything up one octave and use the more conventional 8va line.

For measures 19-22, maybe you could have the left hand play the flute part on the third beat of each measure? The D in measure 19 is pretty significant to the harmony. Just a suggestion.

[Latios212]

There's really nothing wrong with a 15ma line here. It's perfectly appropriate where used.

As for m. 19-22, I think the disparity from the harmony comes from having it incorrectly written in the first place - when I arranged this I got a G minor chord for m. 19 and 21 instead of Eb major.

I've kept some things the same in my arrangement that appeared different in yours (8va that I wrote in on beat 4 of m 11, chord voicings in m 19, etc.), but if these need fixing then I'll get on it right away.

I'll go double check sometime soon (pretty busy today).

[Khunjund]

Measure 19 is an Eb major 7 chord. The flute plays a D just above middle C.

[NPbus_]

Sorry the late reply, I've been pretty busy recently.

As for m 19, although there's a D that the flute plays to complete the chord, I figured that it would be a bit of a spread for LH, going from Bb in on the 2nd line of bass clef all the way up to D above middle C. If the melody in that measure was an octave lower, then it might have been better to write in that D so that RH can cover both notes, but the melody says otherwise. As for the chord in LH, I can't help but hear an Eb in the voicing there.

Like I've said, if any of this is wrong/needs fixing, I've got no problem with that!

[Latios212]

Whoops, sorry. I'll have another closer look at this at my earliest convenience, perhaps this weekend.

[Khunjund]

You're absolutely correct about the Eb voicing in the bass. (The original voicing is Eb first line under the staff, Bb second line, and G fourth space played by the piano, with the flute playing D above middle C, but your voicing is more accessible—many pianists aren't able to play a tenth with one hand.) I was merely suggesting you make what are currently whole note chords into half notes and complete the chord with the flute part as another half note on beat three of measures 19-22. The tempo is definitely slow enough to allow it, and the pedal would hold the chord underneath. Another option would be to add a D fourth line to the right hand, even if it is and octave higher, just to give that major 7 colour.

[NPbus_]

Thanks for your suggestions!

I tried out your 2nd option of placing the D in LH and, although all the intended harmonies were there, the sound of it was a little awkward. The first option sounds better overall since it has the correct octave written down (despite the harmonies coming in on beat 3), and there's no case of a D and an Eb being played as a minor 2nd apart (in bass clef at that). So right now, the sheet I have up has flute harmonies on beats 3 in LH from m 19-22.

[Latios212]

I would advise against making the chords half notes here. The score gives the wrong impression that the low chord is not sustained through the whole measure, even though the pedal will do it for you. If you want to include the flute harmony, it's best to do so in a separate layer.

Another recommendation - try making the tied eighth notes from m. 23-end just eighth rests - the sustain in the original from those is just from echoing and not holding the note longer than the other eighth notes around it.

Other stuff: You could also just change the dynamics in m. 19-23 to mf instead of using accents. Condensing half-tied-quarter notes into dotted half notes wherever they occur would also help de-clutter the piece a bit.

[NPbus_]

I've opted to go against adding the flute harmonies in the end since I ultimately want to keep it accessible, so now I've reverted the chords back to whole notes with no flute harmony. I've also made the other changes you've mentioned (along with re-beaming the eighth notes from m 23 to the end so that they look less like a triplet).