[MOB] Oceanhorn: Monster of Uncharted Seas - "Home Island (Menu)" by Lkjhgfdsa_77

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Other
Game: Oceanhorn: Monster of Uncharted Seas
Console: Mobile
Title: Home Island (Menu)
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Lkjhgfdsa_77

[attachment deleted by admin]

[attachment deleted by admin]

[Lkjhgfdsa_77]

People on the NSM Discord have been talking about having the update power through the submissions board, so I decided to put another sheet up for submission. I didn't go through it again like I do with my other submissions, so it might be a little rough around the edges. Also, do not confuse this track with the similarly-named "Menu Theme" from the same game.

[JDMEK5]

Feedback for you!

-Spacing is all over. More between staves within systems, less between systems. Plz
-Pedal markings aren't going all the way to the end. Is this deliberate?
-LH: You're using a lot of open 5ths and 4ths when I'm hearing more disonant intervals. I'd suggest either fill the chords out or opt for the 3rds and 6ths when you can instead of the perfect intervals. That being said, this next comment may change the way you play this game.
-Watch for overlapping hands. It's kind of.. happening everywhere. You're gonna have to deal with this somehow.
-Similarly, if you want the last D in the LH at the very end (which I love btw), I would drop it from the RH. Don't have it tied over like the rest of the chord. Will it look funny? Potentially. But it's also gonna give the best results imo.

[Lkjhgfdsa_77]

I went through the sheet again and made a bunch of improvements, many of which you suggested -

-Spacing is all over. More between staves within systems, less between systems. Plz

Didn't fully do this because of NotePad. I did, however, paste the file onto a 4-measures-per-system file I had lying around.

-Pedal markings aren't going all the way to the end. Is this deliberate?

No. I replaced the explicit pedal markings with a Ped. and a note to lift when apropriate.

-LH: You're using a lot of open 5ths and 4ths when I'm hearing more disonant intervals. I'd suggest either fill the chords out or opt for the 3rds and 6ths when you can instead of the perfect intervals. That being said, this next comment may change the way you play this game.

Jazzed up all of the main LH chords and made them triads. I also reworked the violins, changing the chord shapes and moving them to the left hand because...

-Watch for overlapping hands. It's kind of.. happening everywhere. You're gonna have to deal with this somehow.

Moved the melody up an octave. This should have removed all of the main clashing problems.

-Similarly, if you want the last D in the LH at the very end (which I love btw), I would drop it from the RH. Don't have it tied over like the rest of the chord. Will it look funny? Potentially. But it's also gonna give the best results imo.

In the last 1-2 measures, I halved the note values and removed the "a tempo," which in my opinion better captures how the song ends. It plays too fast on playback, but anyone actually playing the sheet would likely know how slow to end the piece.

Some other notes -
 - I changed the title to "Home Island (Menu)" to further differentiate it from "Menu Theme" and to align with other track name sources.
 - I'm having trouble with the violins at m10 / 14; I'd like to make them 6ths as well but I'm not sure how.

Sorry this reply is so late; life got in the way and I kept putting off this piece. I normally go through my sheets before I submitted them, but since the updaters were going to be active I just submitted my most complete arrangement.

[Sebastian]

Ooo, nice! I thought I was the only one to do music from this game.
Expect some feedback later today! : )

[Sebastian]

Aye, excellent work! I really love the music from this game.
I'll give you some feedback and this puppy should be good to go:
- Change the BPM marking word from a text and add it into the metronome marking expression text already there.
- Same with the pedal marking, simile marking, and molto rit.
- For some reason you have two MP markings in the same spot. You can delete one of them.
- Put a courtesy accidental on the F# in the right hand of M. 5.
- You put slurs on the eighths in the LH in M. 1-4, but not 5-8. Maybe consider doing that to the ones in 5-8 as well?
- Go ahead and double the C in M. 12 (LH) to fill it in some more. The C appears in the original.
- You can go ahead and remove the lines in M. 9 & 15. The RH symbols are enough of a clarification for the RH.
- The last system is clashing with the copyright information. You can shrink the page to 90% to give the page a little more breathing room if you'd like.
- RH: In M. 15 you have an eighth tied to a quarter, but in M. 2 you just have a dotted quarter. For consistency, change one or the other to match with the other.

Other than that, looks great!

[Latios212]

Last measure: try this instead.

[Lkjhgfdsa_77]

- For some reason you have two MP markings in the same spot. You can delete one of them.

Done.

- Put a courtesy accidental on the F# in the right hand of M. 5.

Done.

- You put slurs on the eighths in the LH in M. 1-4, but not 5-8. Maybe consider doing that to the ones in 5-8 as well?

...that's why I put the simile marking there. If you aren't supposed to use "simile" with slurs, then let me know.

- Go ahead and double the C in M. 12 (LH) to fill it in some more. The C appears in the original.

Done. I doubled the C up to match with the overall register of the left hand.

- You can go ahead and remove the lines in M. 9 & 15. The RH symbols are enough of a clarification for the RH.

Done.

- RH: In M. 15 you have an eighth tied to a quarter, but in M. 2 you just have a dotted quarter. For consistency, change one or the other to match with the other.

Doesn't it only matter when it crosses beat 3?

Last measure: try this instead.

Spoiler

[close]

I disagree.

[close]

Done.

Everything else I didn't mention (mainly formatting) I couldn't do due to NotePad.

[Sebastian]

...that's why I put the simile marking there. If you aren't supposed to use "simile" with slurs, then let me know.

Lol, I'm an idiot. I wasn't paying attention to that lol. Yes, you're right.

Doesn't it only matter when it crosses beat 3?

Typically, yes, but in this instance it's just for consistency sake. I actually believe it's fine. Showing beat 3 is more important in this instance so we'll leave it as is.

Anyway, everything else looks great. I edited the other things that you couldn't fix so it's good to go!

[Zeta]

This submission has been accepted by Sebastian.

~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot