News:

Iron gates are a thing of the past! Now, you can access your yard with the all-new NinSheetMusic-brand Teleportation Technology!

Main Menu

[SNES] EarthBound - "Good Friends, Bad Friends" (Replacement) by Yug Guy

Started by Zeta, January 01, 2017, 04:13:27 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Static

Good, but there are still some small things left:

- At the beginning, either include the complete bari sax voice or not. You have lots of measures with that voice on beat 1, and in places like m18 you have it in the LH in beat 4.5 as well. My suggestion would be to remove whatever remains of that voice you still have entirely and just have the normal bassline.
- m18 LH - misplaced staccato
- m30 RH - beam the 8ths together on beats 3-4
- m48 - a courtesy Gn would be helpful for both the RH and LH
- m68 LH - Use the actual accent+staccato marking instead of adding them separately.
- m79 RH - Layer 1: Top voice for beats 3-4 should be D-En-Fn-F#
- m87 - double barline needed for keychange
- m101 RH - F# is off-center

Yug_Guy

Quote from: Static on June 29, 2017, 09:15:15 PM- At the beginning, either include the complete bari sax voice or not. You have lots of measures with that voice on beat 1, and in places like m18 you have it in the LH in beat 4.5 as well. My suggestion would be to remove whatever remains of that voice you still have entirely and just have the normal bassline.
- m18 LH - misplaced staccato
- m30 RH - beam the 8ths together on beats 3-4
- m48 - a courtesy Gn would be helpful for both the RH and LH
- m68 LH - Use the actual accent+staccato marking instead of adding them separately.
- m79 RH - Layer 1: Top voice for beats 3-4 should be D-En-Fn-F#
- m87 - double barline needed for keychange
- m101 RH - F# is off-center
All fixed.

Latios212

You still have some LH notes flipped in m. 14, 18, 22, etc, everywhere that beat 3 figure appears.

The gliss. in m. 81 is colliding with the accidental. Might want to to do something to fix that.

The fermatas on beat 1 of the last measure seem kinda... off-center.
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

Yug_Guy

Quote from: Latios212 on July 02, 2017, 03:39:21 PMYou still have some LH notes flipped in m. 14, 18, 22, etc, everywhere that beat 3 figure appears.
The gliss. in m. 81 is colliding with the accidental. Might want to to do something to fix that.
The fermatas on beat 1 of the last measure seem kinda... off-center.
Should all be fixed. I tried my best with the glissando, hopefully it isn't colliding all that much.

Latios212

Quote from: Yug_Guy on July 02, 2017, 07:43:12 PMI tried my best with the glissando, hopefully it isn't colliding all that much.
On second thought, how about omitting it or using grace notes instead? I really don't like using glissandos on piano unless it's really clear to swipe all the white or black keys on the keyboard between a large range - it's not obvious what to do otherwise.

Some other small nitpicks before we're good here, I think:
- Is there any continuity between the descending voice in m. 2's RH and the LH voices in m. 3? Either way, I would perhaps suggest cross staving the last couple of eighth notes.
- The slur between ms. 6 and 7 flips directions during the system change. Make it go under the notes in m. 6 instead of over, and adjust the contour accordingly so that the phrase clearly moves into m. 7.
- Half rests on the top staff line look kinda weird. I'd recommend moving them up a notch or two in m. 74, 76-78, 83-84.
- Still got some LH notes flipped in 80 and 82!
- Lower layer is missing its quarter rest in m. 89. Would suggest adding it in rather than combining layers as they layers are separate everywhere else. Goes for m. 91 as well.
- The second and third systems on the last page are kinda cramped. Consider moving a couple measures down since there's ample space in the last section.
- Move the rest under the staff in m. 117.
- Would recommend just making the RH whole notes half notes. Looks like there are six beats there right now.
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

Yug_Guy

Quote from: Latios212 on July 06, 2017, 08:13:35 PMOn second thought, how about omitting it or using grace notes instead? I really don't like using glissandos on piano unless it's really clear to swipe all the white or black keys on the keyboard between a large range - it's not obvious what to do otherwise.
Grace notes wouldn't really work here, so I've chosen to omit it.

Quote from: Latios212 on July 06, 2017, 08:13:35 PM- Is there any continuity between the descending voice in m. 2's RH and the LH voices in m. 3? Either way, I would perhaps suggest cross staving the last couple of eighth notes.
There's no continuity, but cross-staffed anyway.

Quote from: Latios212 on July 06, 2017, 08:13:35 PM- Still got some LH notes flipped in 80 and 82!
I swear, these things are like Whack-A-Mole; you fix one, and another one pops up to take its place. Fixed.

Quote from: Latios212 on July 06, 2017, 08:13:35 PM- Would recommend just making the RH whole notes half notes. Looks like there are six beats there right now.
I assume you mean in m.116? I fixed that measure; the rest looked fine to me.

Otherwise, everything else should be fixed!

Latios212

Quote from: Yug_Guy on July 06, 2017, 08:43:24 PMI assume you mean in m.116? I fixed that measure; the rest looked fine to me.
Whoops, I meant the last measure, sorry. 116 was fine as it was.
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

Yug_Guy

Quote from: Latios212 on July 06, 2017, 08:49:36 PMWhoops, I meant the last measure, sorry. 116 was fine as it was.
Well too late; I'm not changing it back!

Otherwise, measure 121 is fixed.

Latios212

awesomeee

Feels good to finally put this one away! Thanks for sticking through it.
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

Zeta

This submission has been accepted by Latios212.

~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot