[MOB] Pokémon GO - "Walking (Map Theme)" by Tobbeh99

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Pokémon
Game: Pokémon GO
Console: Mobile
Title: Walking (Map Theme)
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Tobbeh99

[attachment deleted by admin]

[Tobbeh99]

Thought it was good idea submitting this when Pokémon GO still is very popular. I have also no clue what to name the song as there is no official soundtrack, so I stuck with this title, seems quite popular. 

Some of these youtube vids has weird looping points. But I am sure that mine is correct, I even watched a livestream of the game to make sure that I got it correct.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQo44bjQCKY

[joeberryosponge]

Here are some recommendations that I have:
-I think the bass line at the beginning doesn't need 8vb. Two ledger lines is readable. You use them later on the piece and should probably be consistent.
-The melody at B would be more readable if you used tied notes. Three layers can be confusing especially with rests everywhere such as m. 27 with the half rest.
-At C, it might be more readable if you switch the layers in the right hand. There's some weird clashing there.
-Usually double breve is reserved for time signatures like 4/2. Either use tied whole notes, a whole note with hanging ties, or use some pedal marking to get the same effect.

[Tobbeh99]

Thanks for your feedback!

-I think the bass line at the beginning doesn't need 8vb. Two ledger lines is readable. You use them later on the piece and should probably be consistent.

Well y, it's not necessary but I like it more with the 8vb, I think it looks better. But I made the line end at m.35 instead of m.36, as it looks kind of silly how it goes 1 ledge line above the staff with 8vb.

-The melody at B would be more readable if you used tied notes. Three layers can be confusing especially with rests everywhere such as m. 27 with the half rest.

I disagree with you. I think it looks better with layers. But I did remove some unnecessary rests to make it easier to read. 

-At C, it might be more readable if you switch the layers in the right hand. There's some weird clashing there.

Well maybe, but I like having the melody notes beamed upwards and with the accents above. It makes the melody stand out more visually as well.

-Usually double breve is reserved for time signatures like 4/2. Either use tied whole notes, a whole note with hanging ties, or use some pedal marking to get the same effect.

Y I could use ties, but if I use ties they basically goes right through all the other 16th-notes making it look kind of messy. I've seen Bespinben use double whole notes in 4/4, so I guessed I could use them as well.

[Tobbeh99]

bump.

[Latios212]

Visual review complete with help of JDMEK5; information dump incoming

- Half notes in 11, 13, 15 are flipped
- Would also recommend the accents from the last system on page 1 to be introduced at the very beginning, and just "simile" later on. Droning bass at the beginning isn't veyr exciting.
- Needs more vertical space. Measure distribution is fine but there's very little space between systems, resulting in possible ambiguity of 8vas among other things. Would recommend 5/page with another page tacked on.
- Page 2 eighth rests in layer 2 could be moved back to center staff
- Could hide layer 3 half rests as well
- In the mus you have some accidentals doubled when multiple layers play the same note.
- 38 and similar: Any reason why the third layer overlaps the melody chords instead of eighth rest like other places? Would look cleaner with just eighth rests (and solve the above doubled accidental problem as well)
- Awkward ties in 27-28. Probably flip the top one down.
- Measure 58, 62 the tie in the RH layer 4 should be upwards
- Beginning of F: bunch of things clashing visually
- What happened in measure 67 to the first layer?
- Tie between 52 and 53?
- Flip ties in 30, 34
- F: Staccato'd dotted notes! Augmentation and staccato dots together in 4/4 isn't good. There are rests between these notes.

[Tobbeh99]

^^

I fixed pretty much everything.

In the mus you have some accidentals doubled when multiple layers play the same note.

Y, I know. This is some sort of error that can occur when you export a mus file out of Finale. And I'll fix this one at the very end, so I don't have to fix this for every update I might have to make.

- 38 and similar: Any reason why the third layer overlaps the melody chords instead of eighth rest like other places? Would look cleaner with just eighth rests (and solve the above doubled accidental problem as well)

Yes. I find the higher 16th run more melodic in measures 38, 42. And I wanted to show the melody more there, unlike the other measures.

- What happened in measure 67 to the first layer?

What do you mean with this??

- F: Staccato'd dotted notes! Augmentation and staccato dots together in 4/4 isn't good. There are rests between these notes.

I don't agree with you here. I think it looks simple and clean the way it's written. you can easily see the rhythm, and then you can see how you're supposed to articulate the note, short and accented. 

I also edited the 8vb. Instead of a line, I made it into a "8vb" and "loco". This frees up a lot of space and is convenient since the 8vb last so long.

[JDMEK5]

- What happened in measure 67 to the first layer?

What do you mean with this??

There's no 4th beat. Your 4/4 measure only has 3 beats in it.

[Tobbeh99]

Ok y I can fix that. But is there anything more, which needs to be fixed, so I can fix everything at the same time?

[Maelstrom]

I don't agree with you here. I think it looks simple and clean the way it's written. you can easily see the rhythm, and then you can see how you're supposed to articulate the note, short and accented. 

I strongly disagree with you here, like Latios. I'm not familiar with the song at all. I got a feel for the song by looking at the sheet, as a musician would, and then listened to the original and I got a completely different feel for the song. While, yes, it may look cleaner, it doesn't represent the music well. While it may be possible to interpret the dotted quarters are short and strong, the tied notes can't be. In a nutshell, and to prevent me from rambling, I got a very different feel from your sheet than I got from the song, and that's not really a good thing.

Oh, and there's some random dashed line showing up below the bass clef on the PDF in m36

[Tobbeh99]

I guess it looks a bit weird having so long note values. But I really want to emphasize the shortness using the accent+staccato, which I think is the best articulation for the that part of the song. And if I use shorter note values then it kind of removes the value of the articulation. It also helps in the later 4 measures where I removed the staccato because I wanted it to be more legato which it sounds like in the song. Btw, could you show a picture how you'd like it to be. You said that you strongly disagrees with how I've written it, but you didn't show how you'd wanted it written, or an example of how it could be written. Would be great if you did that.

m.36, it's supposed to act as a note that the "loco" is coming, rather than just put the loco out there. You can see in the beginning that I got 8vb and after that a line, and the point is that I got a line before the loco as well. But I could remove it as it may not give that feel when the loco is on a different system. 

[Maelstrom]

Yeah, I'd recommend either removing it, or modifying it so it doesn't disappear and reappear, or just use a dynamic or something to indicate that it ended.

I guess it looks a bit weird having so long note values. But I really want to emphasize the shortness using the accent+staccato, which I think is the best articulation for the that part of the song. And if I use shorter note values then it kind of removes the value of the articulation. It also helps in the later 4 measures where I removed the staccato because I wanted it to be more legato which it sounds like in the song. Btw, could you show a picture how you'd like it to be. You said that you strongly disagrees with how I've written it, but you didn't show how you'd wanted it written, or an example of how it could be written. Would be great if you did that.

Ok

Spoiler

[close]

Before you say, But wait, the staccatoed quarters and eights mean different things, remember, the length of a note doesn't effect how a staccato is played. It's still short and, in this case, accented. You play it just as quickly regardless of whether it is a dotted quarter, a quarter, or an eighth. You see, the problem I found fault with was the fact that you tied staccatoed notes. This is just the next step, I guess.

[Tobbeh99]

Updated my files according to your suggestion Mael.

[Latios212]

Sweet! Guess we're finally good to go then.

[Zeta]

This submission has been accepted by Latios212.

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