[GBA] Hamtaro: Ham-Ham Heartbreak - "Hot Spring" by Altissimo

Started by Zeta, August 20, 2016, 04:40:23 PM

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Zeta

Submission Information:

Series: Other
Game: Hamtaro: Ham-Ham Heartbreak
Console: Game Boy Advance
Title: Hot Spring
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Altissimo

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Tobbeh99

Nice arrangement!

M.16 RH: You could have glissando or some grace notes to imitate the slide.
Quote from: Dudeman on August 16, 2016, 06:11:42 AM
tfw you get schooled in English grammar by a guy whose first language is not English

10/10 tobbeh

Altissimo

Good idea. I decided to use grace notes rather than a gliss because I felt it would be easier. Updated.



JDMEK5

Cool sheet! Pitch accuracies aside, let's dive in:

-Small thing, but I would move the tempo marking a little higher and a little more to the left. More above the time signature. Eh.
-I'm seeing clashing accidentals. Measure 2 we have overlapping staccatos, and on a similar note, in many cases your staves are so close together that the staccatos are a little too close to each other for my liking.
-RH, Measure 2: I would flip the stem for the first note since there's no second layer by that point as far as the phrase is concerned.
-Some accidentals should be on the other side of the noteheads from where they currently are. Clearest example is the RH of the last measure, where you have that lonely staccato on top of that one note where all the others are underneath. Measure 8 RH is another place I would be tempted to put the accidentals underneath the noteheads just cuz that's where the slurs could very well go. Though when I think about it most critically, either way is technically correct. (Either being either the way I said, or the way you currently have it)

So yeah, space it out between hands for lines 1-3, and between lines 2 and 3. Let's start with that.

EDIT: You bumped literally as I was typing this all out rofl
"Today's goal strongly involves not dying. Because nobody likes to wake up dead."

My Arrangements
Finale Version(s): Finale Notepad 2012, Finale 2012, Finale v26

Altissimo

lmao what are the odds

anyway i think you mean "articulations" not "accidentals" but i got what you meant, updated

JDMEK5

Quote from: Altissimo on September 07, 2016, 07:08:28 AManyway i think you mean "articulations" not "accidentals" but i got what you meant, updated
^Aye, that lol
"Today's goal strongly involves not dying. Because nobody likes to wake up dead."

My Arrangements
Finale Version(s): Finale Notepad 2012, Finale 2012, Finale v26


JDMEK5

Measure 1, beat 4, RH: Consider adding grace notes or a glissando to emulate the original.
Measures 3 and 7, beat 1, RH: Stems flipped the wrong way
Measures 2 and 8, Beats 1.5 and 1 respectively, RH: Missing eighth rests.
Measure 24, beat 2, RH: Stem flipped again.
"Today's goal strongly involves not dying. Because nobody likes to wake up dead."

My Arrangements
Finale Version(s): Finale Notepad 2012, Finale 2012, Finale v26

Altissimo

should be fixed

glissandos get proper playback by using a method olimar suggested to me, using tied notes


JDMEK5

Last things:

Measure 6-7, RH: I'm not hearing the tie across the barline. I'm hearing rearticulation.
Measure 16, RH: Here we have another slide. Again, while you don't have to implement it, I'd suggest a gliss.
Measures 11 & 19, RH: Might I suggest courtesy accidentals for the Bbs on beat 1?
Measure 24, RH: I'm not sure why but I feel like these Bbs should be an octave lower. Perhaps just fits the context of the arrangement better, despite the original having it an octave higher. I think this is a timbre thing.
Measure 3, RH, Beat 3: I feel like I'm hearing a C with this F but if someone else could verify, that would be cool.
Measure 4, RH, Second Layer: Something seems off with these notes but I'm not able to put my finger on it. Again, I request another opinion on this one. The top note doesn't change though. Only the harmony.
Whole intro bit: Regarding specifically measures 2-3 and 6-7, here's more or less what I'm hearing for the second layer in those spots:


If another updater could take a look at this as well that would be fab. Rn I gtg so I'm going to have to leave it there for now unfortunately but I'll follow up soon.
"Today's goal strongly involves not dying. Because nobody likes to wake up dead."

My Arrangements
Finale Version(s): Finale Notepad 2012, Finale 2012, Finale v26

Olimar12345

Good things said, JD. I just want to say that I agree with most points you made and would like to add the following:

-The Bb's written in 24 are the correct sounding pitch, but I think they sound weird because the contour of the line is disrupted; the preceding section is sounding higher than the Bb's, so it goes down to them rather than up to them in the original. I think personally it could be either one in this arrangement though; it's not too big of a deal.

-The C you recommended in measure 3 I would suggest to be a Bb.

-Your ear was leading you in the correct direction for measure 4! The G natural to Ab movement is correct, but I would erase the F to G and substitute them with a Bb above the G to Ab (on both notes). This is how the original sounds.


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