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The Official Pokémon Diamond, Pearl, and Platinum Project

Started by Latios212, July 16, 2016, 06:44:06 PM

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JDMEK5

Quote from: Latios212 on February 02, 2019, 01:35:24 PM- Any reason why the main part isn't written in F minor (like the vs. Commander sheet)?
- Header info on pages 2-3 is outside the margin (as well as the footer on page 1)
- https in URL
- m. 37: typo? Fbb --> Fb
- I think we should spell m. 52/54/56/58 the same way with either En or Fb in the RH of all of them.
- I'd suggest extending the slur from m. 24 to the note it's tied to in m. 25.
Not really finding anything else, looks great :P
Concerning the F minor thing, good point. Didn't give the bass line enough credit I think; I am convinced. Though that then puts it in a weird spot with Dekka's comment below about the opening being in Ab minor. In summary, the piece is modal, so it's a matter of F minor (LH) vs Ab minor (RH). For the intro, I just stuck 6 flats on there with the not-intent of Eb minor but rather a hybrid that will hopefully keep it as simple as possible to read. I feel bad about just throwing all 7 flats on there completely but also going from sharps to flats suddenly; I don't think that's necessary. For the main part of the piece, I do like the consistency argument so I switched that into F minor just to make it clear- the LH wins.

Quote from: Dekkadeci on February 08, 2019, 09:29:48 PM41 - Battle! (Team Galactic) - JDMEK5
Actually, I'm wondering why you opted for a 6-flat key signature (for E flat minor) instead of A flat minor's 7-flat key signature. I hear this theme as being in A flat minor/G sharp minor, regardless of the bassline's tendency to play F minor-like stuff. If anything, this piece has Phrygian tendencies (so it has a better excuse to have a 4-sharp key signature).

(The only bars that initially stuck out to me wrong, it turns out, are actually probably correct according to the original theme.)
Very good points. My rationale for final decision is above, but ultimately I remember that notes are notes and sometimes what it sounds like isn't always totally reflected by the score (as much as we try to make it so as much as possible). The pitches are there and accurate and ultimately that's what counts and there are absolutely different ways to write it out and reason through it from a analysis perspective but I'm going to go with what I described there and that's why. Of course, if there's a better way to do it, by all means let me know.

The file should be updated in the dropbox, but here are the new links anyways:

46 - Battle! (Team Galactic)
[MUS] [MIDI] [PDF]




Quote from: Latios212 on March 24, 2019, 03:48:28 PMContinuing down the list:

46 - Battle! (Team Galactic Commander) - JDMEK5 [Approved by Latios]

Hope you don't mind, I did a bit of rebalancing of the layout - margins etc. to space everything a bit more evenly. I also removed the overlapping D# in m. 50 (so it now looks like 48) and verified and removed the text about the potentially confusing note (unless that was intended for the performer and not the person checking it?). I personally prefer the descending chromatic line at the beginning over the repetitive one you wrote. It's fine though, up to you what you wanna keep.
Chromatic descending line works for me. I don't think I was able to find your new file but I made the same changes you described in this file here. I also added a few small things like extra articulations and such. Call it the glossy wax finish.

41 - Battle! (Team Galactic Commander)
[MUS] [MIDI] [PDF]
"Today's goal strongly involves not dying. Because nobody likes to wake up dead."

My Arrangements
Finale Version(s): Finale Notepad 2012, Finale 2012, Finale v26

Libera

Quote from: Zeila on May 09, 2019, 02:36:52 PMjust don't turn into him animorphs style...

Haha I'll try not to.

Stark Mountain:

Quote from: Zeila on May 09, 2019, 02:36:52 PMAfter inspecting it again I'm hearing this
Spoiler
[close]

I'm still hearing Ab-An rather than An-Bb but it is kind of hard to hear.  Also I'm not sure that the En-Fn bend is worth putting in, but I'll leave that to your discretion.

Quote from: Zeila on May 09, 2019, 02:36:52 PMI'm not hearing that at all ;-;

I had another listen and this is definitely what I can hear.  I'm pretty certain I've got the right part since it's playing all of the other notes you've written in.  Maybe someone else can give someone else can give an opinion if we can't agree between us.

The other stuff looks good; I'll fix the articulations later.



Decisive Battle

Quote from: Zeila on May 09, 2019, 02:36:52 PMIf you mean the penultimate note, I don't hear it. I think the An in the beginning is the odd one out because the Rh and Lh both play an Ab after that

I think there's only one An in bar 30, but either way I mean the one on beat 1 in the right hand.  An An there sounds really strange to me and I do still think it should be an Ab, but once again maybe someone else can clear it up if we can't decide.

Quote from: Zeila on May 09, 2019, 02:36:52 PMI still hear it

Yeah you're right it's there, my bad.

Not sure if this change happened on your edit or I just missed it before, but the beams on the first group of quavers in bar 15 are quite high and should probably be brought lower.

Once again I'll fix the articulations later.  The other edits look good though!

Zeila

Stark Mountain

Quote from: Libera on June 15, 2019, 04:10:47 PMI'm still hearing Ab-An rather than An-Bb but it is kind of hard to hear.  Also I'm not sure that the En-Fn bend is worth putting in, but I'll leave that to your discretion.
I changed it and decided to leave in the bend

Quote from: Libera on June 15, 2019, 04:10:47 PMI had another listen and this is definitely what I can hear.  I'm pretty certain I've got the right part since it's playing all of the other notes you've written in.  Maybe someone else can give someone else can give an opinion if we can't agree between us.
I'll just take your word for it


Decisive Battle

Quote from: Libera on June 15, 2019, 04:10:47 PMI think there's only one An in bar 30, but either way I mean the one on beat 1 in the right hand.  An An there sounds really strange to me and I do still think it should be an Ab, but once again maybe someone else can clear it up if we can't decide.
Yeah I think I read that backwards, oops lol. The original sounds kind of weird to me but Ab does fit more so I changed it

Quote from: Libera on June 15, 2019, 04:10:47 PMNot sure if this change happened on your edit or I just missed it before, but the beams on the first group of quavers in bar 15 are quite high and should probably be brought lower.
I think that may be a byproduct of cross staffing. Fixed

The links should still be the same, but I'll post them again for convenience:
Decisive Battle | Stark Mountain

Thanks once again! :>

JDMEK5

"Today's goal strongly involves not dying. Because nobody likes to wake up dead."

My Arrangements
Finale Version(s): Finale Notepad 2012, Finale 2012, Finale v26

Latios212

Quote from: JDMEK5 on June 08, 2019, 06:54:56 PM(...)

46 - Battle! (Team Galactic)
[MUS] [MIDI] [PDF]


Chromatic descending line works for me. I don't think I was able to find your new file but I made the same changes you described in this file here. I also added a few small things like extra articulations and such. Call it the glossy wax finish.

41 - Battle! (Team Galactic Commander)
[MUS] [MIDI] [PDF]
Sorry for the delayed response! I think you switched the numbers. I've moved the base Galactic battle grunt theme to the checked once folder as I approve.

For Commander, the file with the edits I made (with margins, measure distribution, other stuff I mentioned) is in the "checked once" subfolder of the main folder. Would you be able to make your new changes on top of that one? (Sorry to ask!)
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

Libera

Brilliant!  We're pretty much there I think, just some final formatting things:

Stark Mountain:

-The page number for page 3 is weirdly positioned.
-I think I'd bring the systems on page 1 a little closer together so that you can bring the start of the music away from the title a bit.
-Due to the slur the 8va on page 3 is very closer to the title so I'd bring those systems down a bit to compensate (you've got tons of white space at the bottom so this shouldn't be a problem.) 
-Finale tends to start the 8vas/8vbs a little too far to the right so I'd adjust all of the starts of them to compensate (move them to the left a bit).

Decisive Battle:

Something I only just thought of, but have you considered writing the right hand of bars 25-34 using bass clef rather than treble?  It get's awfully low at times and the highest it ever goes is Ab which means the most ledger lines you have to use is 3 (and you only do that once) as opposed to having to use 4 twice.



Sorry for the back on forth on these ones, but hopefully we should be done soon!

Static

#291
There's kind of a lot, so I'm going to spoilerize all my feedback:

2nd Check
Battle! (Team Galactic) - JDMEK5
  • My only concern is with the accidentals; I feel like a lot of these would technically be flats or double flats instead of naturals. However, what you have is, at least in my opinion, a lot clearer and easier to read, so I'm fine with keeping it as is. If you're fine with that too, I'll accept.
[close]
Eterna Forest - Zeila
  • One of the ties on beat 4 of m3, 41, and 45 (RH) seems just a bit too close to the chord. Other than that, I got nothing.
[close]
Hearthome City (Day) - FireArrow
Lots of weird chords in this one:
  • m2 LH: The Bns should be Cbs (Db7 chord).
  • m3 LH: Maybe make the middle Cs in the LH Ds instead (it's kind of a stretch for the LH but its definitely doable), or somewhere in the RH. There's definitely a D in this chord though.
  • m4 RH: The Eb should be a D# (G7#5, or augmented 7th chord).
  • m8 RH: The Eb should be a D# (same reason as m4), and the D natural below it sounds more like its played on beat 4 instead of beat 3.5.
  • m10 & m26: The Abs should be G#s (E7#5 chord), but keep the Cs instead of making them B#s since those are a pain.
  • m34 RH: The Ebs should be D#s (another G7#5 chord).
[close]
Battle! (Azelf/Mespirit/Uxie) - Zeila
  • Maybe some courtesy Ebs in m32 and 36? Also, the accidentals in m46-53 seemed weird at first, but I think they work nicely since there is a minimum of accidentals per measure. Everything else checks out.
[close]

1st Check
Battle! (Rival) - JDMEK5
  • m13: The size of those 8th rests in layer 1 is inconsistent with the rest of the section.
  • m20: The 8va marking goes above the top margin. There's enough room on the page to move all the systems down and/or closer together to keep everything within the margins (I'd probably do this for page 3 too so it looks consistent).
  • m49: I think the layer 2 G would be better written as an 8th note instead of a whole note. It sounds short in the original. and holding the G while trying to play the bass clef stuff at the same time is a really big stretch for one hand.
[close]
Oreburgh Gate - Onionleaf
This is an interesting piece...
  • The 6/4 bar at the beginning should be only around 4 beats long.
  • m17 LH: There is a pickup to m18 in the melody line here on beat 3 (E naturals); also, the Dxs in this measure should be E naturals.
  • m26-33: The G naturals should all be Fxs. In m33 LH, the D natural in the melody should be a Cx, and like in m17, there is an E natural quarter note on beat 3.
  • m45, 49 RH: Some of the accidentals in these measures are bit too close to notes and other markings.
[close]
Solaceon Town (Day) - Latios212
  • The F naturals in m6 should be E#s (C#7 chord like in m5).
  • m18 RH: The grace note looks like it's too close to the flat sign next to it.
[close]
Route 210 (Day) - dajwxp
  • m6 RH beat 1: That staccato should be on the other side of the note.
  • Anytime there's a rhythm like on beat 1 of m6 RH, the 16th notes should all be beamed together.
  • Many of the slurs could be adjust a bit (like m16 and m19 for example) to reduce their vertical space.
  • m29 RH: Some notes in the chromatic run should be respelled (Fb to En, Cb to Bn).
  • m33: The 8th rest in the LH on beat 1 should be moved down like in m32. Also, is there a reason why the RH is in layer 2? It doesn't affect the arrangement in anyway, but it should probably just be moved to layer 1 since nothing else is happening in that measure.
[close]
Battle! (Team Galactic Boss) - JDMEK5
Not sure how much you've tested or fixed the parts that you marked on the sheet, but I'll provide some feedback anyway:
  • Some of the dynamics and accidentals are too close to other notes and markings, like in m29-30 for example.
  • That "hit the lowest note on the piano" section I think sounds better if you play it in key as a low C instead of a low A. Also, for this direction marked (a), and the other marked (b), I would move the directions directly near the music so the reader doesn't have to look down for them since there's enough space to do this.
  • Your system spacing on different pages is inconsistent and uneven.
[close]
Victory Road - Latios212
  • I would probably make all the C#s Dbs, and all the Gbs F#s just so everything is consistent. The entire piece seems built on the G-Db tritone and various chromatic things going to or from G. Just do what makes sense to you, right now it seems pretty inconsistent in terms of accidental spelling.
  • You have the flute part in m5, 6 and 10 marked as staccato, but the string triplets in m11 without articulation. In the original, it sounds like it should be the opposite. The flute notes seem held longer and the triplets are pretty short.
  • m11 LH beat 4: I hear these 2 8th notes as another A natural and Bb, and ending on an A on beat 1 of m12. The upper notes may be there, but I think these are more prominent.
[close]

Latios212

Thanks Static for all the help. Pretty busy tonight but I took a look at a couple:

Quote from: Static on July 29, 2019, 12:43:57 PM
Eterna Forest - Zeila
  • One of the ties on beat 4 of m3, 41, and 45 (RH) seems just a bit too close to the chord. Other than that, I got nothing.
[close]
I fixed this and reset the status to blue. Feel free to accept.

Quote from: Static on July 29, 2019, 12:43:57 PM
Solaceon Town (Day) - Latios212
  • The F naturals in m6 should be E#s (C#7 chord like in m5).
  • m18 RH: The grace note looks like it's too close to the flat sign next to it.
[close]
Fixed the second thing. Wasn't too sure about the first, though, since that has an En on top - would you prefer the diminished octave?
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

Static

Looks great! I didn't see the E natural, that was my mistake. So in that case, definitely keep the F natural. I'll go ahead and accept both.

Libera

134 - Battle Tower - Yug Guy

-I think the margins on this one could do with updating (to big on the left) and maybe the staff size (perhaps too big) as well.  It might be worth putting this into whatever template you use nowadays and it'd probably fix most of the issues.
-The rests in bars 3-4 and 32 could probably be brought down a bit after the first, but it's not really a big deal either way.
-The second layer Db on beat 1.5 in bar 10 and 12 should be an Eb.
-The right hand Eb on beat 1 of bar 26 should be an Ab.
-Missing a left hand in bars 23-24 and 26-27.  Is this an early sheet of yours, perhaps?  There's definitely stuff to put in for the left hand there.
-The diminuendo in bars 29-30 should stop at bar 30 since you can't do that over a held chord on piano.  Similarly for bars 7-8.  Also, I'm not a huge fan of the crescendo in the last bar as it's only affecting notes that aren't crescendo-ing in the original.
-The graces you put in going into beat 2 in bar 29 are actually what sounds like an arpeggio in the original.
-http to https
-The right hand in bar 16 is quite a bit more complicated in the original.  I'm not suggesting writing it in verbatim, but you could probably do more to capture it there.
-The notes that stick out to me on the backbeats in bar 9 (10) are actually the Fs (Gbs) which aren't in your dyads there but they are in bars 11-12.
-The semiquaver rests are the end of bars 13-15 probably aren't necessary.

This'll probably need another look from me after you've made edits because there's likely to be a fair few changes.  Also, you might just find things yourself while revisiting an old sheet like I tend to do.

Static


Contest Hall - AmpharosAndy
  • I'm usually not a fan of using staccatos on dotted notes, but I think due to the very dense/layered nature of this piece, using staccatos makes things a lot less cluttered.
  • There are some misplaced staccatos and rests and off-center dynamics
  • Since you have Notepad, I took care of all this for you and am now approving this sheet.
[close]
Contest: Results Announcement - FireArrow
  • Some 8th rests are clashing in m5 and 7, but other than that this looks good.
[close]
Contest: Results Announcement (Duet) - FireArrow
  • The title should be changed to (Four Hands) instead of (Duet), and instead of Piano 1 and 2 in the sheet, it should be Primo and Secondo.
  • The C# in m6 of Primo LH should be a Db (descending chromatic scale).
[close]
Wi-Fi Plaza - Sebastian
  • m9 beat 3: The RH and LH notes should be aligned vertically.
  • m14 RH: Slur on the grace note should be flipped.
  • m23 RH: I would make the Db a C# in this instance because it acts as a chromatic approach to the D natural.
  • m25 LH: The slur on beat 3.5 seems a bit too close to the note.
  • m35 LH: The Db should be a C# (F7#5 or F augmented 7th chord).
[close]
Battle Castle - Sebastian
  • The style description should go before the tempo marking.
  • The page numbers aren't positioned correctly; they should be lined up horizontally.
  • m41 LH: This note should be tied to m42
  • m64-65 RH: Since nothing is in the first layer, you should flip some of the 2nd layer notes.
  • Change http to https.
[close]

FireArrow

oh huh, lemme finish my summer class and I'll get on that stuff
Quote from: Dudeman on January 23, 2017, 05:35:59 PM
straight from the department of redundancy department

Zeila

Quote from: Libera on June 29, 2019, 03:06:16 PMSorry for the back on forth on these ones, but hopefully we should be done soon!
No worries! I fixed the stuff you mentioned. I also made a few other changes to Decisive Battle, which were just formatting stuff like changing the subtitle/page number positions or removing/changing courtesy accidentals in m16 and wherever there where parenthesis

I would add courtesy accidentals to the lake trio battle but I don't have the updated file. Anyways, here are the two updated MUS files:

Stark Mountain | Decisive Battle

Latios212

Quote from: Static on July 30, 2019, 01:41:36 PM
Contest Hall - AmpharosAndy
  • I'm usually not a fan of using staccatos on dotted notes, but I think due to the very dense/layered nature of this piece, using staccatos makes things a lot less cluttered.
  • There are some misplaced staccatos and rests and off-center dynamics
  • Since you have Notepad, I took care of all this for you and am now approving this sheet.
[close]
Contest: Results Announcement - FireArrow
  • Some 8th rests are clashing in m5 and 7, but other than that this looks good.
[close]
Contest: Results Announcement (Duet) - FireArrow
  • The title should be changed to (Four Hands) instead of (Duet), and instead of Piano 1 and 2 in the sheet, it should be Primo and Secondo.
  • The C# in m6 of Primo LH should be a Db (descending chromatic scale).
[close]
Wi-Fi Plaza - Sebastian
  • m9 beat 3: The RH and LH notes should be aligned vertically.
  • m14 RH: Slur on the grace note should be flipped.
  • m23 RH: I would make the Db a C# in this instance because it acts as a chromatic approach to the D natural.
  • m25 LH: The slur on beat 3.5 seems a bit too close to the note.
  • m35 LH: The Db should be a C# (F7#5 or F augmented 7th chord).
[close]
Battle Castle - Sebastian
  • The style description should go before the tempo marking.
  • The page numbers aren't positioned correctly; they should be lined up horizontally.
  • m41 LH: This note should be tied to m42
  • m64-65 RH: Since nothing is in the first layer, you should flip some of the 2nd layer notes.
  • Change http to https.
[close]
Currently working on fixing these few up. Will update the files when I'm done
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

Libera

Quote from: Zeila on August 08, 2019, 10:51:35 PMNo worries! I fixed the stuff you mentioned. I also made a few other changes to Decisive Battle, which were just formatting stuff like changing the subtitle/page number positions or removing/changing courtesy accidentals in m16 and wherever there where parenthesis

I would add courtesy accidentals to the lake trio battle but I don't have the updated file. Anyways, here are the two updated MUS files:

Stark Mountain | Decisive Battle

Brilliant, I've now approved both of those.  I'm really sorry about lake trio but I just completely forgot that the files we're using to check are held on the updater dropbox and so you guys don't have access to them.  Here's the version of the file I approved:
https://www.dropbox.com/s/9wdwqwzfp03t3r0/115%20-%20Battle%21%20%28Azelf-Mesprit-Uxie%29%20-%20Zeila.musx?dl=1