[GBA] Mother 3 - "Smashing Song of Praise" by Maelstrom & Mr. ML&G

[Maelstrom]

A few suggestions:
This is a bit, so be prepared.
First of all, this needs articulations. Any notes that feel really short should have a staccato, and the really strong ones desperately need accents.

This next part is a little complicated, but very important:
In the Lh, that eighth-to-quarter should be slurred and the quarter staccatoed and accented (There's an articulation for both). This should also be applied to the Rh, but in a different way. You see all those sets of two eighths separated by an eighth rest? They should be slurred and the second eighth+eighth rest turned into a staccatoed quarter, which will look nicer, play better, and generally clean up the song.

The baseline in 57-68 needs to be re-worked. Don't be afraid to ask if you need ideas. I'm not giving them to you now, because this is your arrangement now, not mine.

Those runs/not-trills in 73, 74, and 75 should be turns. Idk if notepad has that, so I'll fix it for you after the rest is changed.

That's all for now.

[Maelstrom]

Mr. ML&G and I talked, and I'll be doing the rest of the legwork for this song.

[Maelstrom]

After entirely too much work, this has been fixed.

[The Deku Trombonist]

Formatting? Some things need bolding. Unless it's my phone being retarded.

You've got plenty of space at the bottom of page 1, so why not move all the staves down and get the music away from the arranger info?

The dynamic in bar 1 needs to be vertically centered, it's too high atm.

Perhaps you could cut out some of the LH articulations and put in a simile? Just a thought. It would tidy things up a bit, although it's totally understandable if you prefer having them all written out.

Slurs needed on grace notes in bar 4, 8.

Bar 25 is slower, so why not help the performer out a little and write that. Something like "Meno mosso (q. = 122)" would do the trick.

Also, vertically center the mp in bar 25.

A tempo vs tempo primo in bar 29? I guess you can argue that 4 bars isn't long enough to warrant a tempo primo but perhaps it would add clarity? I dunno, just throwing it out there.

The 'f' in bar 29 is colliding with a slur.

Also, I would consider flipping the tie at the end of bar 29 RH. The way it is now with the tie in between the notes on beat 1 in bar 30 just looks strange.

The same thing with the tempo marking in bar 53 as in bar 25.

Also in bar 53, does the RH really need to be in 2 layers? I understand why it is that way, but I'm just putting the question out there of whether it's worth it.

The tempo marking in bar 73 is colliding with the notes.

The turns in bars 73-75 are floating a bit high, they can be brought down closer to earth.

[FireArrow]

I disagree with the whole G minor thing. To me it just looks like a made up scale on G which seems awkward to notate with a minor key signature, plus a B natural makes the tonic chord G major sooooooo......

my two cents

[Maelstrom]

Formatting? Some things need bolding. Unless it's my phone being retarded.

You've got plenty of space at the bottom of page 1, so why not move all the staves down and get the music away from the arranger info?

That first one is probably you phone, and I can't belive I missed the second one. I did it to all the pages and somehow forgot the first.

The dynamic in bar 1 needs to be vertically centered, it's too high atm.

Perhaps you could cut out some of the LH articulations and put in a simile? Just a thought. It would tidy things up a bit, although it's totally understandable if you prefer having them all written out.

Slurs needed on grace notes in bar 4, 8.

Done, I'd rather keep it as it is to emphasize the differences, and done, also at that place near the end.

Bar 25 is slower, so why not help the performer out a little and write that. Something like "Meno mosso (q. = 122)" would do the trick.

Also, vertically center the mp in bar 25.

Was already done, but the Meno mosso does improve it.  Also done. Is there a way for finale to center those by default, or an option to do so other than manually.

A tempo vs tempo primo in bar 29? I guess you can argue that 4 bars isn't long enough to warrant a tempo primo but perhaps it would add clarity? I dunno, just throwing it out there.

The 'f' in bar 29 is colliding with a slur.

Also, I would consider flipping the tie at the end of bar 29 RH. The way it is now with the tie in between the notes on beat 1 in bar 30 just looks strange.

The same thing with the tempo marking in bar 53 as in bar 25.

All fixed. I prefer the A tempo just because, yeah, it was only 4 measures. It makes more sense with the Menno Moso there also.

Also in bar 53, does the RH really need to be in 2 layers? I understand why it is that way, but I'm just putting the question out there of whether it's worth it.

I'd rather just because of the turns. If the turn only ever affects the top note, I'll change it.

The tempo marking in bar 73 is colliding with the notes.

The turns in bars 73-75 are floating a bit high, they can be brought down closer to earth.

Done, and done, because Finale's default placings are strange sometimes.

Files updated.

I disagree with the whole G minor thing. To me it just looks like a made up scale on G which seems awkward to notate with a minor key signature, plus a B natural makes the tonic chord G major sooooooo......

my two cents

Not sure I understand what key you are suggesting to put it into. G Major?

[FireArrow]

Not sure I understand what key you are suggesting to put it into. G Major?

Yeah

[Maelstrom]

Idk about that. I mean, I'm not a theory expert, but it just doesn't feel right.
Not to belittle your input, but could I have a second opinion?

[FireArrow]

Idk about that. I mean, I'm not a theory expert, but it just doesn't feel right.
Not to belittle your input, but could I have a second opinion?

Well, I did some more reaserch and it looks like a double harmonic major scale built on G. Since it has major in the name I'm assuming that you'd use a G major key signature. (With some sections being in a different key, though I don't think you'd need to notate that.)

Second opinion would be cool though.

[The Deku Trombonist]

The meno mosso should be in bold and not italicized, as is the standard for tempo indications. And there's only one 'n' in meno.

[Maelstrom]

Updated, and with the final key stuff.

[Maelstrom]

After some very, very long discussions, the key was decided.

[Zeta]

This submission has been accepted by Latios212.

~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot