[WiiU] Mario Kart 8 - "Water Park" by Zeila

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Super Mario
Game: Mario Kart 8
Console: Wii U
Title: Water Park
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Zeila

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[Zeila]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eZRS3AkIi18
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7eGcQNUjbI

Decided to submit this now instead of later

[Clanker37]

Fantastic! They're both really awesome.

The only change I would make is to outline the phrasing better in the Underwater theme from 43 to 51 and from 56 to 58.

Other than that, it's a great arrangement! Excellent work!

[Zeila]

Thanks! I added some slur markings in m48-51 and 56-58 instead. I also added some staccatos around those spots. Is it okay to notate staccatos under slurs? If not I can just leave the one of the two that fits the best

[TheMarioPianist]

I agree that these sheets look really good! I will definitely examine them much more closely. However, the main thing I want to address is how to format the two themes of the same song. Unless someone else has a better way, I believe something like this would be the way to go. I think it is better to show the fluidity, especially in a game like MK8 (which is praised for those seamless transitions). Once we decide on that, I can take a more in depth look at the arrangement itself. At first glance, it looks amazing! Nice job!

(PS: Don't judge the quality of my example sheet. I probably started that around the time I joined the site, when I was still using Notepad. Don't start correcting errors in that XD. Just use it for formatting purposes please!)

[Zeila]

Thank you! I would have done it like that, but since you guys didn't finalize on the formatting stuff, I decided to do full versions of both songs and will leave it like so until the decision has been made.

*also bump*

[Sebastian]

My list of to-dos is piling up, but make sure I look over this one!

[Sebastian]

Awesome work with this song!

Here is some feedback:
Measure 1: You have the left hand just a tad wrong. If you listen to the original again, you should end up with this:

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Just a small change there.

Measure 2: In my opinion, having an empty space is something that should never be.....unless there is nothing in the original to add in. For the left hand of beats 3 & 4 of this measure, the bass is playing the same thing as the right hand. Adding that wouldn't hurt.
Also, the notes on beat 1 & 2 are slightly off.

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Measure 4: In the right hand of beats 3 & 4, I don't hear a C in there. You can just remove that.

Measure 5 (and others like it): There is this tiny clashing of the dynamic marking with the notes in the right hand.

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Measure 10: This section is also incorrect. They are inverted incorrectly like in measure 2. In the original, this is actually an octave higher than written. I would recommend notating it this way which will yield to the original more and it wouldn't be so messy:
Also, some bass notes are missing.

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Measure 11: Same as measure 10. I would take out the second layer for the first beat, again, to take away the messiness.
Measure 12: Some of the notes in the both hands are incorrect. Also, for the future, don't put the the notes in layer 2 unless there is something in layer 1. Having them in layer 2 for no reason is kinda pointless.

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Measure 14: Just a small glitch in the bass of the left hand.

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Measure 15: On the first beat (in the right hand), it's one dotted eighth, not a 16th and 8th.

Measure 21-24: The right hand is partly incorrect throughout this part. In the original, it is actually tenths. Since only some people can play tenths without rolling and they are even hard at this speed, I would notate it like this:

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Measure 21-25 The left hand is somewhat incorrect in these measures. Lots of missing notes. I'd go back and review that section.....maybe slow it down.
I recommend this; it's very easy to use:
https://www.tunetranscriber.com/

Measure 29:

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Measure 34: I would hide that Key Change since the song technically ends there and you have a solid bar.
You can hide it with the Measure Tool.
Measure Tool > Hide cautionary clef, key, and time signatures.


Well, I don't have time to look over the Underwater part atm, but I will get to that ASAP!
Good Job with this song! If you have any questions about any of my feedback, please ask me.

[Zeila]

Thanks! I fixed everything, including the right hand part in m17-20, 29 and the bass part in m26, 32. I looked at m14 again and I think it should be like this:

(I'm not sure if the sixteenth note on beat 3 should be there though)

I fixed the parts in the Underwater section that also apply to this, but I'll get back to it soon

[Sebastian]

I looked at m14 again and I think it should be like this:

(I'm not sure if the sixteenth note on beat 3 should be there though)

It's kinda hard to tell from the original, but this sounds pretty good!

Excellent work!
I was gonna say something about the formatting, but I forgot. It looks like you got it updated anyway


Now for the Underwater section:
You did pretty good with this section.
All I have a thing about is measure 47. Everything is in the second layer.

Now for some other stuff.
Maybe stretch it out a little bit.

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Page Layout Tool. Same with pages 2, 3, & 4.
Also, you got some empty space at the bottom of some pages:

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[Zeila]

I messed around with the formatting, and also ended up fixing some rests. Aside from that, I changed measures 42-48 (sans 45), took out the tie in m55, and changed the sixteenth and eighth note into a dotted eighth in m64 (first beat)

Thanks for the compliment/advice!

[Zeila]

Bump

[Zeila]

bump

[JDMEK5]

I've got two and a half cents to add:

Cent #1: Measure 24, RH - Hide the half rest and quarter rest. That also means you should move the 16th rest at the beginning of the measure into its normal place and put the beaming of those beats back to normal (facing down).

Cent #2: Measure 27-28, LH - You've got a crapton of notes in the RH staff but a completely blank LH staff. Instead of cramming it all up there, use a clef change in the lower staff and put all LH stuff there. It'll not only be clearer, but it'll look more balanced as well.

Cent #2.5: Measure 22, LH, Beat 1 - I don't know how I feel about augmenting the duration of a note via a dot while using a staccato on the same note. It's kinda like taking the elevator down 5 floors and then up 2 instead of just going down 3. My suggestion: either eliminate the staccato or shorten the note's rhythmic value. Or both.

EDIT:

O hallo I didn't see the second arrangement within. First off, I think a case could be made to make these into two separate arrangements. The underwater one would be easier to find, less likely that someone would request the underwater version not realizing that it's here, and it wouldn't have a full header with a "Page 3" on it. That just seems kinda not right to me. Oh and maybe the most convincing argument (though it is fixable) is that the underwater version would actually start with "Measure 1" instead of "Measure 35".

Measure 44, RH, Beat 2 - Your 16th rest is kinda getting devoured by the quarter note in the second voice.

Measure 45, LH, Beat 3-4 - I would sooner change clefs than use an octava marking in the bass clef. Unless its an ottava bassa that is but in this case, it isn't.

Measure 55, RH, Beat 2.5-4 - Your fortepiano isn't exactly in line with the crescendo. Just an aesthetic thing.

Measure 59, RH - My comment on measure 24 applies here too.

Measure 64 - To be really picky, the crescendo could look nicer if it wasn't touching the barline. Just a very small thought.

Oh and your 3rd page (2nd arrangement) is missing a tempo marking.

[Zeila]

Cent #2.5: Measure 22, LH, Beat 1 - I don't know how I feel about augmenting the duration of a note via a dot while using a staccato on the same note. It's kinda like taking the elevator down 5 floors and then up 2 instead of just going down 3. My suggestion: either eliminate the staccato or shorten the note's rhythmic value. Or both.

I changed the dotted notes that started on 'e', but i left the ones on strong beats the way they are for personal neatness (unless writing a bunch of sixteenth rests on the offbeat really is better)

O hallo I didn't see the second arrangement within. First off, I think a case could be made to make these into two separate arrangements. The underwater one would be easier to find, less likely that someone would request the underwater version not realizing that it's here, and it wouldn't have a full header with a "Page 3" on it. That just seems kinda not right to me. Oh and maybe the most convincing argument (though it is fixable) is that the underwater version would actually start with "Measure 1" instead of "Measure 35"

I can understand wanting to combine the two repeat sections, but I don't think writing out and submitting two separate arrangements is necessary if one is just a variation of the other. If we were to do the entire Mario Kart 8 soundtrack, there would be at least 10 songs with variations - some with multiple (Animal Crossing, Cloudtop Cruise (although I think the one on site doesn't include the Thundercloud version), Dolphin Shoals, the race placements, and etc.). I think it would be best to place them together. To name an example, Olimar's Rosalina's Comet Observatory has 1, 2, and 3 included (although it's connected rather than disconnected). Maybe the piece could be titled "Water Park (Mix)" or (Full) on site to avoid confusion. I fixed the header and measure numbers though, and even added the copyright

Everything else was fixed. Thanks!!