[GBA] Hamtaro: Ham-Ham Games - "Synchronized Swimming" by Altissimo

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Other
Game: Hamtaro: Ham-Ham Games
Console: Game Boy Advance
Title: Synchronized Swimming
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Altissimo

[attachment deleted by admin]

[Altissimo]

Let's go, eh?

Okay... few things to say on this.

-At a variety of points, I'm not always sure about the harmonies I included - whether they're right, or whether certain notes are present. A thorough harmony check might be the most important thing for this...
-Quite a bit of octave shuffling in 2nd layers for playability.
-Octaves at m. 61-64; anywhere near doable at this speed with one hand?
-any corrections/ideas for m. 81-84 appreciated lmao that bit kinda tripped me up more than a bit
m. 85-86 have a second layer but idk if it's worth putting in alongside sixteenth runs at that speed
-THIS IS MY FAVORITE TRACK FROM THE GAME SO TREAT IT CAREFULLY OK

[Altissimo]

that fell quickly. 2nd page bump

[Altissimo]

anybody

anybody

bueller

[Olimar12345]

-composer/arranger names need to be right-aligned
-you've got a lot of space at the bottom of the first page, and not a lot of space at the top. Mind equaling that out?
-imo it would sound better and make more sense when playing the LH of measures like 14 if you left out the bass on beat three. It occurs quite often.
-Slur in mm. 41 RH is messed up, you'll need to recreate it.
-mm. 51 and 59 could use a big courtesy B natural in both hands on beat one.
-LH mm. 92-93 should definitely be down an octave. Even in octaves, if you want, but the lower octave is what is present in the original.
-mm. 39-40 RH sextuplets: my recommendation would be to leave one of the voices out, lest you would like the pianist to interpret that as a glissando. If you do want a gliss there, write a gliss instead!

[Altissimo]

-composer/arranger names need to be right-aligned

According to my document they are/were right-aligned. Do they still look off?

I edited everything else though.

How is it musically apart from these things?

[Olimar12345]

According to my document they are/were right-aligned. Do they still look off?

They look good now. They were only off by a tad anyway.

How is it musically apart from these things?

Musically it is arranged well. Just a few more things to address:
-I'd recommend some dynamic contrast. perhaps forte-fortissimo for the introduction, then have it drop down to mezzo forte at the first strain (m. 5). I would definitely write in a crescendo through mm. 81-86, then put fortissimo for the ending.
-61-64 (RH) hardly seems playable in octaves at that tempo. Perhaps pick the more prominent octave and omit the other one?

And some more formatting stuff:
-The slurs are covering up the staccato's in measures 5, 14, 34, 41, and 42

-Slur in mm. 41 RH is messed up, you'll need to recreate it.

-Lower the composer/arranger names to be below the game title, as it appears in the guidelines (since you have plenty of room to work with on that page).

[Altissimo]

Better?

[Olimar12345]

Better. Try this out, though:

https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/59554832/nsm/NSM%20subs/-Synchronized%20Swimming-4.mus

[Altissimo]

Better indeed. Replaced.

[Olimar12345]

cool.

[Zeta]

This submission has been accepted by Olimar12345.

~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot