[DELETED] [3DS] Pokémon X & Pokémon Y - "Snowbelle City" by braixen1264

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Pokémon
Game: Pokémon X & Pokémon Y
Console: Nintendo 3DS
Title: Snowbelle City
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: braixen1264

[braix]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rm3y3Hk9Sn4

[Tobbeh99]

Nice arrangement!

-measures 5-12: you're missing a lot of high arpeggio notes that you could add to the LH.

-measure 8: move the rest up a bit so it doesn't collide with the note.

-measure 11: Is it really necessary having 2 layers. Just make the 2nd layer note part of the 1st layer chord.

-measures 13-20: watch out with the LH chords. When you have large chords in that low register it can sound quite muddy, I suggest thinning them out a bit by removing 1 note from each making them dyads.

-measure 13-20: maybe a stronger dynamic, maybe only in the RH since you only have single notes (unison) and no other notes.

-measure 16: wrongly beamed notes, make the black notes downwards and the red upwards.

general:

-I'd make the measure distribution into 4 measures per system, except the last system which should have 5.
-You could fit this arrangement on 1 page. resize the page down to like 85-84% and move some measure closer.

[Pianist Da Sootopolis]

Also, the octaves at M. 7 don't sound like octaves to me; it sounds like the original texture is going on underneath the melody, which is to be played simultaneously. Whether or not that's pianistically possible is another question, though, so if that's why you put the octaves there then I somewhat understand.

[braix]

-measures 5-12: you're missing a lot of high arpeggio notes that you could add to the LH.
-measure 8: move the rest up a bit so it doesn't collide with the note.
-measure 11: Is it really necessary having 2 layers. Just make the 2nd layer note part of the 1st layer chord.
-measures 13-20: watch out with the LH chords. When you have large chords in that low register it can sound quite muddy, I suggest thinning them out a bit by removing 1 note from each making them dyads.
-measure 13-20: maybe a stronger dynamic, maybe only in the RH since you only have single notes (unison) and no other notes.
-measure 16: wrongly beamed notes, make the black notes downwards and the red upwards.

general:
-I'd make the measure distribution into 4 measures per system, except the last system which should have 5.
-You could fit this arrangement on 1 page. resize the page down to like 85-84% and move some measure closer.
Also, the octaves at M. 7 don't sound like octaves to me; it sounds like the original texture is going on underneath the melody, which is to be played simultaneously. Whether or not that's pianistically possible is another question, though, so if that's why you put the octaves there then I somewhat understand.

Feedback:

• Lots of arpeggios and/or tied grace notes are needed.
• Pedal markings might be nice.
• Why is the first page so cramped? The header is nearly at the top of the page, and the tempo marking and the 15ma are way too close to the notes.
• Measures should be fit to 4 per system to follow hypermeter.
• The dynamic markings in m1, m21, and m25 are a little too close to the bar line for my liking. Move them right a tad.
• The first few measures don't actually crescendo at all.
• First note in m1 in the right hand has no E, only the B.
• The E in the left hand in m1 holds for four measures, which is still easily playable.
• The dynamic marking in m3 should be moved towards the left because as it is, it implies that it doesn't apply to the first beat of the measure. Actually, it really shouldn't be there at all because as I said, there's no crescendo.
• How is m5 supposed to be played? Very few pianists would be able to reach that interval.
• Layer 2 in m6 is missing some notes in between the B and the A.
• First rest in Layer 2 in m8 should be moved down so as not to conflict with Layer 1.
• The G in Layer 2 in m8 should be a quarter note starting on the downbeat.
• The E in Layer 2 in m8 should be a G.
• Harmonies are missing in the right hand of m9.
• In m11, once again, move down the Layer 2 rests so as not to conflict with the staff and Layer 1.
• How is m16 supposed to be played? If it's with the pedal, then you have to signify that to the pianist.
• Also, Layer 2 in m16 is missing harmonies.
• The stem of the dotted half in Layer 1 of m16 should be flipped.
• All Eb's (m5, m9, m11, m26, m28) should be changed to D#'s.
• Why is m20 not a dotted half?
• That's some pretty nasty hand overlap in m25... Notate it differently.
• More hand overlap in m26. Make it clear that the B's in both hands are the same, or remove the one in the right hand. You could also move the B in the left hand as a dotted half into the right hand.
• ...And again in m28. Take out the B from one of the hands.
• I don't hear a crescendo in m24...
• Missing right hand harmonies in m26 on beats 4-6, which are: D# (same as the melody), E, F.
• Right hand in m27 should have a dotted quarter chord with: G, E, B (so the same as yours except with the C to a B). The harmony part is a C holding for the first for beats and then playing a B and an A on the next two beats.
• I do not believe the existing harmonies in the arrangement on beats 4-6 in m26 and m27 are at all present in the original.
• The most pressing issue of your arrangement: the harmonies in the left hand from m13-20 are not actually there in the original. I'm not sure where exactly you got them from, but it wasn't from the original theme.

Striking these through as I go to keep myself organized

[mastersuperfan]

Feedback:

• Lots of arpeggios and/or tied grace notes are needed.
• Pedal markings might be nice.
• Why is the first page so cramped? The header is nearly at the top of the page, and the tempo marking and the 15ma are way too close to the notes.
• Measures should be fit to 4 per system to follow hypermeter.
• The dynamic markings in m1, m21, and m25 are a little too close to the bar line for my liking. Move them right a tad.
• The first few measures don't actually crescendo at all.
• First note in m1 in the right hand has no E, only the B.
• The E in the left hand in m1 holds for four measures, which is still easily playable.
• The dynamic marking in m3 should be moved towards the left because as it is, it implies that it doesn't apply to the first beat of the measure. Actually, it really shouldn't be there at all because as I said, there's no crescendo.
• How is m5 supposed to be played? Very few pianists would be able to reach that interval.
• Layer 2 in m6 is missing some notes in between the B and the A.
• First rest in Layer 2 in m8 should be moved down so as not to conflict with Layer 1.
• The G in Layer 2 in m8 should be a quarter note starting on the downbeat.
• The E in Layer 2 in m8 should be a G.
• Harmonies are missing in the right hand of m9.
• In m11, once again, move down the Layer 2 rests so as not to conflict with the staff and Layer 1.
• How is m16 supposed to be played? If it's with the pedal, then you have to signify that to the pianist.
• Also, Layer 2 in m16 is missing harmonies.
• The stem of the dotted half in Layer 1 of m16 should be flipped.
• All Eb's (m5, m9, m11, m26, m28) should be changed to D#'s.
• Why is m20 not a dotted half?
• That's some pretty nasty hand overlap in m25... Notate it differently.
• More hand overlap in m26. Make it clear that the B's in both hands are the same, or remove the one in the right hand. You could also move the B in the left hand as a dotted half into the right hand.
• ...And again in m28. Take out the B from one of the hands.
• I don't hear a crescendo in m24...
• Missing right hand harmonies in m26 on beats 4-6, which are: D# (same as the melody), E, F.
• Right hand in m27 should have a dotted quarter chord with: G, E, B (so the same as yours except with the C to a B). The harmony part is a C holding for the first for beats and then playing a B and an A on the next two beats.
• I do not believe the existing harmonies in the arrangement on beats 4-6 in m26 and m27 are at all present in the original.
• The most pressing issue of your arrangement: the harmonies in the left hand from m13-20 are not actually there in the original. I'm not sure where exactly you got them from, but it wasn't from the original theme.

[braix]

Anything that I haven't added bolded comments to are things I have yet to try and work out by myself. The ones with bolded comments are things I need help with.


-measures 5-12: you're missing a lot of high arpeggio notes that you could add to the LH.
-measures 13-20: watch out with the LH chords. When you have large chords in that low register it can sound quite muddy, I suggest thinning them out a bit by removing 1 note from each making them dyads.

general:
-I'd make the measure distribution into 4 measures per system, except the last system which should have 5. 4 measures per system divides evenly into 28 measures, so I don't know how that would work 
-You could fit this arrangement on 1 page. resize the page down to like 85-84% and move some measure closer. How would I move the measures closer?

Feedback:

• Lots of arpeggios and/or tied grace notes are needed.
• Pedal markings might be nice. I tried to do pedal markings many times before, but they never worked. Should I look for someone else that can do it for me or leave it without the pedal markings?
• Why is the first page so cramped? The header is nearly at the top of the page, and the tempo marking and the 15ma are way too close to the notes. I'm not sure how to fix this, there doesn't seem to be any room.
• Layer 2 in m6 is missing some notes in between the B and the A.
• The G in Layer 2 in m8 should be a quarter note starting on the downbeat. I'm assuming you meant the first beat, so I just put a dotted quarter G in the first chord. Let me know if it's something else
• The E in Layer 2 in m8 should be a G. I'm hearing an E, double check?
• Harmonies are missing in the right hand of m9. I'd like someone to double check the harmonies I put in m.9-10
• Also, Layer 2 in m16 is missing harmonies. I put in harmonies, but I don't know if they're right; I just put in what sounded okay
• The most pressing issue of your arrangement: the harmonies in the left hand from m13-20 are not actually there in the original. I'm not sure where exactly you got them from, but it wasn't from the original theme.

[Tobbeh99]

general:
-I'd make the measure distribution into 4 measures per system, except the last system which should have 5. 4 measures per system divides evenly into 28 measures, so I don't know how that would work

Don't mind this one, it's fine 4 measures all the way.

-You could fit this arrangement on 1 page. resize the page down to like 85-84% and move some measure closer. How would I move the measures closer?

You use the staff tool, and the you click on the square to the left of the top staff and the drag them.

[braix]

Thanks! Fixed those just now.

[Bespinben]

You have to be really careful when you try to fill out the accompaniment, like at. m. 13. Having thick triads in such a low register makes a really aggressive and muddied sound, that, in this case, is not befitting of the piece.

(You may use the Bespin Touch lifeline if you so wish)

[Pianist Da Sootopolis]

M. 9-12; could you do the accompaniment in the RH staff as well, with brackets? Or perhaps even a three staff ordeal. Though I'm known to do 3 staff stuff when it isn't necessary.

[braix]

I'll do as much of these fixes as I can. WhenIf I need the bespinben lifeline I'll let you know

[braix]

So may I request a magic bespinben touch? I can't tell what to do besides watch and learn at this point

[Shadoninja]

I can't tell what to do besides watch and learn at this point

well for starters, you might want to upload the right files and not House from The Minish Cap

[braix]

Huh, updated it for the wrong song huh