[Wii] Super Mario Galaxy - "Egg Planet" (Replacement) by mariolegofan

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Super Mario
Game: Super Mario Galaxy
Console: Nintendo Wii
Title: Egg Planet
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: mariolegofan


Replacement Information:
Links to Existing Sheet: MUS | MIDI | PDF
Replacement Type: Challenge (new arranger)

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[Sebastian]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qy8Sn6DHIi0

[Olimar12345]

Ill give it a more thorough look later today, but a couple things I notice rn:
-this track was written by Koji Kondo, take off Mahito Yokota.
-I forgot to mention this with your luigis mansion submission, but the template file you've been using has its bracket (to the left of each system) out of alignment. The top of it exceeds the staff when it should be in alignment with it.

[Sebastian]

Thanks!
I'll get that updated when I get on a computer.

[Sebastian]

Ill give it a more thorough look later today, but a couple things I notice rn:
-this track was written by Koji Kondo, take off Mahito Yokota.
-I forgot to mention this with your luigis mansion submission, but the template file you've been using has its bracket (to the left of each system) out of alignment. The top of it exceeds the staff when it should be in alignment with it.

Fixed.
I also uploaded the name to "Egg Planet".

[Olimar12345]

Okay, there is a lot to say about this arrangement:

-Could you add in some distinction between the woodwind trill and the brass fanfare at the beginning, possibly through articulations? Like, make the first four sixteenth notes slured and articulate the next part?
-No fermata in measure two. Straight time.
-Measure 2 is kind of a mess (I don't hear that LH chord on beat three whatsoever). Perhaps you can try to add the ascending line in there?
-Accent on the second chord in measure 9 (RH) would be a nice addition (emphasizes the syncopation).
-Measure 3 LH has a c in the staff on the up beat of four, add that in.
-Measure 11 LH C on the up beat of four needs to be up an octave.
-Measure 11-20 in the RH you've added a voice that isn't in the original, and I don't know how I feel about it.
-Measure 22 (second measure of the flute solo) there is a rhythm error in the RH. Make the last eighth note a quarter note, and the last quarter note an eighth note (switch them) then untie them. The flute re-articulates the up-beat of four.
-Measures 25-32 in the original are a duet between the solo flute and the newly added clarinet (or low flute, those timbres!). It would be nice if you could preserve that and remove the stray harmonies from the RH.
-E's in the LH of measure 27 are F naturals.
-Make the D's into E's in the LH of measure 31. Those are E major 7 chords, but keep the LH's triads for consistency.
-Remove the inversion from the LH chords in measure 32, make them A-C#-E starting with A at the top of the staff. Keep the bass as the lowest voice, like you've been doing until now.
-From measure 37 through the end, think you could add in the LH bass on the up beat of four? it's always there and it's an octave higher than the ones on beats one and up beat of two.

[Latios212]

-Measure 22 (second measure of the flute solo) there is a rhythm error in the RH. Make the last eighth note a quarter note, and the last quarter note an eighth note (switch them) then untie them. The flute re-articulates the up-beat of four.

I noticed this, but MLF and Ben both told me I was wrong.

[Olimar12345]

Trust your ear!

[Sebastian]

-Could you add in some distinction between the woodwind trill and the brass fanfare at the beginning, possibly through articulations? Like, make the first four sixteenth notes slured and articulate the next part?

I guess I should of originally, but I thought of keeping this part simple.
How does it look now?

-No fermata in measure two. Straight time.

I put that in to add a little break before the next section, but I can take it out.
Fixed

-Measure 2 is kind of a mess (I don't hear that LH chord on beat three whatsoever). Perhaps you can try to add the ascending line in there?

Now this is the measure that I was worried about the most for this song. I admit, it is hard for me to hear that section. I actually tried originally to add that ascending line, but didn't really know how to pull it off. I tried using glissandos.....I spent a lot of time trying to figure out that measure and finally decided to do something simple.
How does it look now? I tried adding that ascending line.

-Accent on the second chord in measure 9 (RH) would be a nice addition (emphasizes the syncopation).

Fixed

-Measure 3 LH has a c in the staff on the up beat of four, add that in.

Darnit.....how'd I miss that?
Fixed.

-Measure 11 LH C on the up beat of four needs to be up an octave.

Fixed

-Measure 11-20 in the RH you've added a voice that isn't in the original, and I don't know how I feel about it.

Actually, it is in the original, but an octave or 2 down. The cello/bass is playing a C on some of those notes.....not all of them. So I decided to incorporate it in the left hand. I would like to keep it in.

-Measure 22 (second measure of the flute solo) there is a rhythm error in the RH. Make the last eighth note a quarter note, and the last quarter note an eighth note (switch them) then untie them. The flute re-articulates the up-beat of four.

I noticed this, but MLF and Ben both told me I was wrong.

-Measures 25-32 in the original are a duet between the solo flute and the newly added clarinet (or low flute, those timbres!). It would be nice if you could preserve that and remove the stray harmonies from the RH.

Is this an optional thing?
I would like to keep it the way I have.....

-E's in the LH of measure 27 are F naturals.

Ah, again, how'd I miss that?
Fixed.

-Make the D's into E's in the LH of measure 31. Those are E major 7 chords, but keep the LH's triads for consistency.

I guess so.
Fixed.

-Remove the inversion from the LH chords in measure 32, make them A-C#-E starting with A at the top of the staff. Keep the bass as the lowest voice, like you've been doing until now.

I wanted to preserve the bass since I start using the bass in the next measure, but ok.
Fixed.

-From measure 37 through the end, think you could add in the LH bass on the up beat of four? it's always there and it's an octave higher than the ones on beats one and up beat of two.

I guess so. I didn't really think it was necessary at the time, but whatever.
Fixed.

[Olimar12345]

Is this an optional thing?
I would like to keep it the way I have.....

I was intending this thing to not be optional. It will make that section look and sound more authentic and less muddied up with things that aren't there.

I wanted to preserve the bass since I start using the bass in the next measure, but ok.

The way I said to change it preserves the bass voice, so if you want to preserve it you sould be agreeing with me. d:

[Sebastian]

I was intending this thing to not be optional. It will make that section look and sound more authentic and less muddied up with things that aren't there.

Since it is a duet since two instruments, ok.
Fixed.

[Latios212]

So that rhythm thing in m. 22 and 26

Also you have an Ab in 9 but a G# in 18

[Sebastian]

The one in 9 should be a G#.....I'll update that.

[Sebastian]

Ok. Fixed the flute thing.

[Olimar12345]

We talked about this one through skype. All fixed up.