[PC] Symphonic Rain - "The Other Side of the Sky (Piano)" by McDucky

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Other
Game: Symphonic Rain
Console: PC
Title: The Other Side of the Sky (Piano)
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: McDucky

[attachment deleted by admin]

[McDucky]

[Latios212]

Oof, how has this been untouched for half a year? (Sorry......)

You're got some note beaming problems - always show beat 2 here! If a note extends through the middle of the measure, split it into two tied notes, the second of which begins on beat 2.

[Th3Gavst3r]

I've been hardcore editing this trying to warrant the half year silence, but I haven't quite made all the edits needed and I don't think I'll be able to force myself to finish anytime soon
I did my best to keep a log of the changes I made and what I think you still need to do on your own:

Spoiler

FIXED:
All grace notes should be slurred, as per the custom
(Piano) Isn't neccessary in the title
Various alignment issues

M. 1-8, 50-55, 114-127, 133-136 - LH needs octaves throughout
M. 9 - Extra measure number removed
M. 9-15 - need octaves in LH on beat 1 of each measure
M. 9,10,13,14 - Chords are inverted, needed to raise them an octave too
M. 11,12 - Raise chords an octave
M. 16 - LH should be a half note, not staccato quarter
M. 18-23, 26-32, 42-48 - The bottom note in these chords should be very low in the LH. The rest of the chord is split higher towards the treble clef, and can be played with the RH (I'm not sure if the LH has octaves here, but I think it doesn't)
M. 18,19,22,23,26,27,30,31,58,59,63,64,66,67,70 - Should probably try to show where beat 2 is in all this syncopation
M. 21 - Chords are slightly off
M. 24 - LH octave
M. 25 - Swap the direction of the beams for the two voices so they don't conflict.
M. 25,57,65,69 - Try to add second voice rests so there's no confusion about when the second voice comes in.
M. 33 - No D in in RH on last chord, adding a D makes the progression feel ascending
M. 34-35, 38-39 - Chords on 2nd beats are inverted, make G# and F# top notes to give a descending progression
M. 40-41 - E's are also inverted, similarly to above comment
M. 34-48 - Need octaves in LH on first quarter note of each measure
M. 12,38,45,85 - Octaves in sixteenth notes, low octave can be played with LH
M. 49 - Half note chord is a repeat of the last in M. 48
M. 56 - Dynamic should probably stay piano until the pickup. There's a G# in the RH chord
M. 58,66 - No syncopation in LH
M. 59 - Last note should be tied into M. 60
M. 61 - Dotted eighth should be accented, no movement in LH, G# in RH
M. 70-71 - Missing harmonies in the RH
M. 73 - No D# needed in third chord, similarly to M. 33
M. 78 - This part comes in on beat one, and the LH chord from M. 77 is not rearticulated. There are octaves in the LH and there is no C in the last note; it's just more octaves with F
M. 74-87 - The RH has high octaves in the melody
M. 106 - Instead of tying the bottom notes to indicate they should be played longer, move them into the second voice and make them half notes. THe octaves here are also way past what one person could play, which makes me think the original isn't actually a solo. I'd recommend including the low Gs on the first note and moving up for the other three chords.
M. 118 - Accent in LH on 2nd beat
M. 119 - No high F in LH, it's brought in very noticeably in the next measure
M. 123 - Should not be an 8th note in the LH
M. 116 - The only difference between the 1st and 2nd beat sounds like the addition of an F in the RH
M. 117 - The F in the RH persists through the last 2 notes
M. 120 - Same sort of feeling as M. 116, D in RH is not rearticulated on beat 2
M. 124 - Same chords on beat 1 and 2
M. 127 - The F in the LH comes in on beat 2
M. 130 - Raise LH an octave
M. 137 - Molto Ritardando

TODO:
M. 62-onwards - The progression in these verses should mimic the changes needed in the first
M. 95 - This section looks like you started getting closer to what notes should be played, but it's highly unplayable. Try to be more indicative of which notes should be played with each hand too while fixing this part

• In places like 81 use accents?
• Pedal notation would be nice

[close]

Here's the .mus with all the corrections I've made. Good luck!
[Mus]

[McDucky]

I've been hardcore editing this trying to warrant the half year silence, but I haven't quite made all the edits needed and I don't think I'll be able to force myself to finish anytime soon

Wow, good job! that's amazing!
You've given me motivation to do more work on this.

[Th3Gavst3r]

Wow, good job! that's amazing!
You've given me motivation to do more work on this.

Glad I could get you some inspiration! This really is a nice song I'd love to hear finished, and I promise your work isn't going unappreciated lol

[McDucky]

Well, I've done a bit now, but I'm not sure which of these are preferred.

Thoughts?

[Th3Gavst3r]

I usually try to stick with putting holds in a different voice because long strings of ties get very confusing.

"Coincidental recent example"

[close]

But either works if you like having a single voice, just make sure it stays readable.

[Latios212]

(Piano) Isn't neccessary in the title

Hm actually I would say it is necessary because it's the "in-game piano rendition" of the opening theme according to the description. (See Super Mario 64: Piranha Plant's Lullaby on site.)

As for the above question I personally prefer the separate layers, but I can't say for certain what you should do here since I haven't had time to comb through the track yet.

Besides fixing the rhythm groupings in 33 and similar measures, watch your rest placement. They're awkwardly misplaced in 25, 28, and other places.

But very nice work, you two! Keep it up! (Man, this song is great.)

[Th3Gavst3r]

Hm actually I would say it is necessary because it's the "in-game piano rendition" of the opening theme according to the description. (See Super Mario 64: Piranha Plant's Lullaby on site.)

Oh yeah, I didn't know that and I totally agree! Maybe not "(Piano)" specifically because others (like me) might think you mean "the instrument this is an arrangement for." But yeah this is plenty different from the normal "The Other Side of the Sky" to need a different title.

(Man, this song is great.)

^^^

[McDucky]

Oh yeah, I didn't know that and I totally agree! Maybe not "(Piano)" specifically because others (like me) might think you mean "the instrument this is an arrangement for." But yeah this is plenty different from the normal "The Other Side of the Sky" to need a different title.
^^^

Okay, I'll go with the layered style. What direction do the note stems go when using multiple layers?

(Man, this song is great.)

It really helps give the game a fantastic athmosphere
The composer, Okazaki Ritsuko suddenly passed away soon after it was released, as if the game itself wasn't sad enough..

[Th3Gavst3r]

Okay, I'll go with the layered style. What direction do the note stems go when using multiple layers?

Forgot you asked this lol. In case you haven't found out already, typically the layer which is further up the staff points upward, and the one towards the bottom points down. It's not always clear which is which, but that's the general rule

[TheMarioPianist]

Forgot you asked this lol. In case you haven't found out already, typically the layer which is further up the staff points upward, and the one towards the bottom points down. It's not always clear which is which, but that's the general rule

In addition to this, it helps to have the "top" layer be layer 1 and the "bottom" layer be layer 2; that way the stems will automatically be pointing the right way. If you have the layers the other way around, that's fine. Just make sure to follow what Th3Gavst3r said.

[McDucky]

Updated
I kept the (Piano) part of the title.

[Latios212]

- The repeats are confusing me. You have a section labeled "1" from measures 8-16 but a section labeled "2" starting with measure 114?
- Indicate pedal usage?
- Rhythm notation needs fixing in measures 33, 41, 73, 81, 113, 117, 118, 121, 125 to show beat 2
- Misaligned notes from 104-110.
- No need for a 2-measure key change near the end.
- Layers could still use some work.
- A lot could be done to make this sheet more visually appealing - right now it seems an arbitrary group of measures is assigned to each system and overall it looks kind of squashed. I could give it a shot if you want.