The most awful jokes you know

[InsigTurtle]

^ A disturbing image has suddenly popped into my head. Please don't.

The following bunch of bad fruit puns got be kicked from a group chat.

Grape puns? If I must... I won't wine about it. But you aren't exactly raisin my expectations of you. You jelly yet? I can branch out a bit if you want. I hope we're in concord about that. Man, I really am juicing these puns. I'm currantly pretty tired, actually. But I need to think of some brandy new puns.

At which point, one of my friends simply said "stop" and kicked me.

[Tobbeh99]

-So I heard you're going to a Smash tournament.

-Y I'm gonna win and R.O.B them of all their money!

[ShadowChords]

A transatlantic flight carrying passengers of a wide variety of racial origins is miles out over the open ocean when the captain unexpectedly comes on over the intercom. "Your attention please," he begins. "Due to undiagnosed engine trouble, it appears that this plane is not going to make it back to either coast unless the plane loses some weight. Unfortunately, that means some of you are going to have to jump out and hope for the best. Parachutes will be provided."

There is silence for a few moments before a high-class British officer rises dramatically from his seat and strides over to the exit hatch. Grabbing a parachute, he pronounces with dignity, "God save the Queen!" before opening the hatch door and jumping out.

Next, a French connoisseur stands up. He too walks over to the exit hatch and grabs a parachute. "Vive la France!" he cries as he exits the plane.

A few more moments pass before a Texan, cowboy hat and all, gets out of his seat and swaggers over to the hatch. Pausing for a few moments and glancing out the door, he yells, "Remember the Alamo!" and grabs two Mexicans and throws them out.

I know a better way to tell it.

[Dudeman]

Wonderful. Fantastic. I feel so enlightened knowing that you have that knowledge in your possession.

[Waddle Bro]

Why are you such a jerk to him for no good reason?

[Sebastian]

Why are you being mouthy to a mod for no reason?

[TheMarioPianist]

Why are you such a jerk to him for no good reason?

Isn't that just typical Dudeman sarcasm? At least, that's how I interpreted it .

[Sebastian]

He is the God of Sarcasm after all

[Dudeman]

He could have easily told the joke instead of trying to brag about something. In fact, I'd love to see his version. But why go "lol my way's better" without saying anything about it?

[braix]

"Dudeman: God of Sarcasm
Braixen: God of Steak"

[TheMarioPianist]

He could have easily told the joke instead of trying to brag about something. In fact, I'd love to see his version. But why go "lol my way's better" without saying anything about it?

Yeah, just saying his version is better without actually contributing to the conversation really is just pointless.

"Dudeman: God of Sarcasm
Braixen: God of Steak"

I thought it was "Griller of Steaks."

[Dudeman]

So someone made a topic containing the longest joke in the world a while back, but it's so good that I have to put it here too. Fair warning; it's a good 15 minute read.

and I have no idea why the formatting is so weird but there it is

[Pianist Da Sootopolis]

Why are you being mouthy to a mod for no reason?

The opposite of why you suck up to them, methinks.
That said I interpreted it sarcastically, I don't think Dudeman was intentionally being an ass.

[Waddle Bro]

Why are you being mouthy to a mod for no reason?

If read my post friend there's the reason, calm down

Since when has sarcasm not been acting like a dick just to make fun of someone? You're confusing sarcasm with irony. Especially when we're trying to lower the amount of toxic environment here, the unnecessary and intentionally hurtful posts don't help with the situation, wouldn't you agree? Point is, setting an example of how things should be is the best for everyone, or do you have a different opinion about it?

ninja'd, yeah that's what I mean, people are unnecessarily being offensive towards one another at these forums. like that's not a nice way to talk about mlf

[Dude]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5W75QxHgpoM