News:

Congratulations!! You, yes, YOU, dear user, have been selected for the "You Read This News Item" award! Click here for your prize!!

Main Menu

The most awful jokes you know

Started by Pianist Da Sootopolis, September 29, 2015, 06:26:22 PM

Previous topic - Next topic
Print
Go Down Pages 1 2 3 4 5 6
User actions

InsigTurtle

#45
December 27, 2015, 04:42:15 AM
^ A disturbing image has suddenly popped into my head. Please don't.

The following bunch of bad fruit puns got be kicked from a group chat.

Grape puns? If I must... I won't wine about it. But you aren't exactly raisin my expectations of you. You jelly yet? I can branch out a bit if you want. I hope we're in concord about that. Man, I really am juicing these puns. I'm currantly pretty tired, actually. But I need to think of some brandy new puns.

At which point, one of my friends simply said "stop" and kicked me.

Tobbeh99

#46
December 27, 2015, 05:06:50 AM
-So I heard you're going to a Smash tournament.

-Y I'm gonna win and R.O.B them of all their money!
Quote from: Dudeman on August 16, 2016, 06:11:42 AM
tfw you get schooled in English grammar by a guy whose first language is not English

10/10 tobbeh

ShadowChords

#47
January 02, 2016, 02:29:52 PM
Quote from: Dudeman on September 29, 2015, 07:15:07 PMA transatlantic flight carrying passengers of a wide variety of racial origins is miles out over the open ocean when the captain unexpectedly comes on over the intercom. "Your attention please," he begins. "Due to undiagnosed engine trouble, it appears that this plane is not going to make it back to either coast unless the plane loses some weight. Unfortunately, that means some of you are going to have to jump out and hope for the best. Parachutes will be provided."

There is silence for a few moments before a high-class British officer rises dramatically from his seat and strides over to the exit hatch. Grabbing a parachute, he pronounces with dignity, "God save the Queen!" before opening the hatch door and jumping out.

Next, a French connoisseur stands up. He too walks over to the exit hatch and grabs a parachute. "Vive la France!" he cries as he exits the plane.

A few more moments pass before a Texan, cowboy hat and all, gets out of his seat and swaggers over to the hatch. Pausing for a few moments and glancing out the door, he yells, "Remember the Alamo!" and grabs two Mexicans and throws them out.

I know a better way to tell it.
I can arrange for quartets and quintets. I'm willing to review any Pokemon arrangement.

And here's my YT channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/MansionXx

Dudeman

#48
January 02, 2016, 02:42:41 PM
Wonderful. Fantastic. I feel so enlightened knowing that you have that knowledge in your possession.
Quote from: braixen1264 on December 03, 2015, 03:52:29 PMDudeman's facial hair is number 1 in my book

Waddle Bro

#49
January 02, 2016, 02:51:26 PM Last Edit: January 02, 2016, 02:54:16 PM by Waddle Bro
Why are you such a jerk to him for no good reason?

Sebastian

#50
January 02, 2016, 02:57:16 PM
Why are you being mouthy to a mod for no reason?


TheMarioPianist

#51
January 02, 2016, 02:57:36 PM
Quote from: Waddle Bro on January 02, 2016, 02:51:26 PMWhy are you such a jerk to him for no good reason?
Isn't that just typical Dudeman sarcasm? At least, that's how I interpreted it :P.
"I'm always here to help. Except when I'm not." ~Latios212

"If you're interested in 'balancing' work and pleasure, stop trying to balance them. Instead make your work more pleasurable." ~Donald J. Trump

Transcriber
M-updater
Piano player

Sebastian

#52
January 02, 2016, 02:59:26 PM
He is the God of Sarcasm after all ;)


Dudeman

#53
January 02, 2016, 03:01:47 PM
He could have easily told the joke instead of trying to brag about something. In fact, I'd love to see his version. But why go "lol my way's better" without saying anything about it?
Quote from: braixen1264 on December 03, 2015, 03:52:29 PMDudeman's facial hair is number 1 in my book

braix

#54
January 02, 2016, 03:02:09 PM
"Dudeman: God of Sarcasm
Braixen: God of Steak"
Quote from: MaestroUGC on August 19, 2015, 12:22:27 PMBraixen is a wonderful [insert gender] with beautiful [corresponding gender trait] and is just the darlingest at [stereotypical activity typically associated with said gender] you ever saw.

TheMarioPianist

#55
January 02, 2016, 03:05:19 PM
Quote from: Dudeman on January 02, 2016, 03:01:47 PMHe could have easily told the joke instead of trying to brag about something. In fact, I'd love to see his version. But why go "lol my way's better" without saying anything about it?
Yeah, just saying his version is better without actually contributing to the conversation really is just pointless.

Quote from: braixen1264 on January 02, 2016, 03:02:09 PM"Dudeman: God of Sarcasm
Braixen: God of Steak"
I thought it was "Griller of Steaks."
"I'm always here to help. Except when I'm not." ~Latios212

"If you're interested in 'balancing' work and pleasure, stop trying to balance them. Instead make your work more pleasurable." ~Donald J. Trump

Transcriber
M-updater
Piano player

Dudeman

#56
January 02, 2016, 03:13:37 PM
So someone made a topic containing the longest joke in the world a while back, but it's so good that I have to put it here too. Fair warning; it's a good 15 minute read.

and I have no idea why the formatting is so weird but there it is
Quote from: braixen1264 on December 03, 2015, 03:52:29 PMDudeman's facial hair is number 1 in my book

Pianist Da Sootopolis

#57
January 02, 2016, 03:22:08 PM
Quote from: mariolegofan on January 02, 2016, 02:57:16 PMWhy are you being mouthy to a mod for no reason?
The opposite of why you suck up to them, methinks.
That said I interpreted it sarcastically, I don't think Dudeman was intentionally being an ass.
what is shitpost

Waddle Bro

#58
January 02, 2016, 03:22:31 PM Last Edit: January 02, 2016, 03:27:20 PM by Waddle Bro
Quote from: mariolegofan on January 02, 2016, 02:57:16 PMWhy are you being mouthy to a mod for no reason?
If read my post friend there's the reason, calm down

Since when has sarcasm not been acting like a dick just to make fun of someone? You're confusing sarcasm with irony. Especially when we're trying to lower the amount of toxic environment here, the unnecessary and intentionally hurtful posts don't help with the situation, wouldn't you agree? Point is, setting an example of how things should be is the best for everyone, or do you have a different opinion about it?

ninja'd, yeah that's what I mean, people are unnecessarily being offensive towards one another at these forums. like that's not a nice way to talk about mlf
Print
Go Up Pages 1 2 3 4 5 6
User actions