The most awful jokes you know

[Pianist Da Sootopolis]

What did the police academy say about their communist officer who couldn't shoot straight?
He was missing his Marx.

[Dude]

Wow.

/topic

[Nebbles]

What did the police academy say about their communist officer who couldn't shoot straight?
He was missing his Marx.

i'm mad i laughed at this

[ZeldaFan]

A man walks into a zoo. The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog.
It's a shihtzu.

[mikey]

A man walks into a zoo. The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog.
It's a shihtzu.

similar: A fish swims in to a dam.  "Dam wall," said the fish.  The dam replied, "dumb bass."

[ZeldaFan]

What did the grape say when it was crushed?

Nothing.
It just let out
a little wine

[Saria]

What do you call a bear in the rain?

A drizzly bear!


What do you call an alligator in a vest?

An investigator!

[Dudeman]

On Thanksgiving, my sister and I were near the TV when the national dog show came on. A particularly shaggy dog came on stage.
Sister: "Whoops, looks like someone left their rug on the stage."
Me: "Sister, that's not a rug.

That's a carpet."

[Nebbles]

What kind of glasses do ghosts wear?

Spectercles!

[Ruto]

[1:17:14 PM] manio: On my 12 hole ocarina on the back of the package is the fingering chart FROM C to F2 but thats totally wrong
[1:17:15 PM] manio: wtf
[1:17:55 PM] Olimar12345: Lol two more holes and the same range as the one without them
[1:17:59 PM] Ruto: huh I think it is A
[1:18:07 PM] (FSM): i have the fingering chart for your mother manio

[braix]

no chill

[EFitTrainr]

Did you guys hear about the bomber who escaped from jail?

The news practically exploded!

[ZeldaFan]

I said, "Call me when you get home."

My sister said,"Like a beach and a tire, I shore wheel."

[braix]

That joke was my facepalm moment of the week

[Pianist Da Sootopolis]

So, Mickey Mouse has filed divorce.
He's having a weekly session with his divorce counselor; the counselor begins, "So, let's set the record straight here. You said you wanted to divorce your wife because she's crazy?"
Mickey shakes his head, and corrects him in his high pitched voice.
"No, no, friend. I'm divorcing her because she's fucking Goofy."