The most awful jokes you know

[Pianist Da Sootopolis]

The purpose of this thread is to acknowledge that we all are terrible human beings.

Alright, now that that's out of the way, let's get started!

How do you get a nun pregnant?
Dress her up like an altar boy.

[Brawler4Ever]

Two drums and a cymbal fell down a cliff.

Dun Dun TSS!!!

[braix]

There's a black man and a mexican man in a car. Who's driving?
The cops

What's the difference between a mexican man and an elevator?
One can raise a family

Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side

[Dudeman]

A transatlantic flight carrying passengers of a wide variety of racial origins is miles out over the open ocean when the captain unexpectedly comes on over the intercom. "Your attention please," he begins. "Due to undiagnosed engine trouble, it appears that this plane is not going to make it back to either coast unless the plane loses some weight. Unfortunately, that means some of you are going to have to jump out and hope for the best. Parachutes will be provided."

There is silence for a few moments before a high-class British officer rises dramatically from his seat and strides over to the exit hatch. Grabbing a parachute, he pronounces with dignity, "God save the Queen!" before opening the hatch door and jumping out.

Next, a French connoisseur stands up. He too walks over to the exit hatch and grabs a parachute. "Vive la France!" he cries as he exits the plane.

A few more moments pass before a Texan, cowboy hat and all, gets out of his seat and swaggers over to the hatch. Pausing for a few moments and glancing out the door, he yells, "Remember the Alamo!" and grabs two Mexicans and throws them out.

[blueflower999]

So there's a magician at a kid's birthday party who happens to be Spanish. First he performs some card tricks, and then he pulls a rabbit out of a hat. Finally, he says "for my last trick I will disappear on the count of three. Uno, dos..." and he was gone without a tres.

[TheMarioPianist]

Two guys walk into a bar. The bartender asks what they want. The first guy replies, "I'll have some H₂O." The second guy says, "I'll have some H₂O too."

The second guy is now dead.




WARNING! CITIZENS OF EARTH! A METEORITE IS GOING TO HIT THE EARTH IN THREE DAYS, SPREADING CLOUDS OF DIHYDROGEN MONOXIDE! AVOID IT AT ALL COSTS!

[Pianist Da Sootopolis]

That's just lame.

How do you keep a moron in suspense?

[Dudeman]

I don't know, PDS. How do you keep a moron in suspense?



Oh. Right.

[Pianist Da Sootopolis]

<3

[Dudeman]

Rick Astley will lend you any Pixar film in his collection.
Except one.

[Pianist Da Sootopolis]

That was..... something else.

[Dudeman]

How many tickles does it take to get an octopus to laugh?


Ten.

[Olimar12345]

What does a piano, glue, and a tuna fish all have in common?

You can TUNA piano, but you can't PIANO a tuna!


What about the glue, you ask?

I knew you'd get STUCK on that!

[Altissimo]

What's the holiest chord




G sus

[Bespinben]

Brock's dad is brown, has many children, and is never home.

Must be Mexican.