The most awful jokes you know

[blueflower999]

What's similar about black and Mexican names?

If you've heard Juan you've heard Jamal

[Waddle Bro]

This topic

[Dude]

Good lord.

This topic

[Pianist Da Sootopolis]

This topic

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[Olimar12345]

What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!

Why can't pirates finish the alphabet?
because they got lost at C!

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school!?
It's okay. He woke up.

[braix]

There's no good chemistry jokes
All the good ones Argon

[Pianist Da Sootopolis]

There are some good Physics ones though.
Good physics books, too; I was reading a book on antigravity the other day, it's just impossible to put down.

[InsigTurtle]

Why did the kid fall off the swing?
Because he was dead.

Ok, I'll post a non-terrible joke. One of my favourites, actually.

A mathematician and a physicist were asked the following question:
Suppose you walked by a burning house and saw a hydrant and a hose not connected to the hydrant. What would you do?
P: I would attach the hose to the hydrant, turn on the water, and put out the fire.
M: I would attach the hose to the hydrant, turn on the water, and put out the fire.
Then they were asked this question:
Suppose you walked by a house and saw a hose connected to a hydrant. What would you do?
P: I would keep walking, as there is no problem to solve.
M: I would disconnect the hose from the hydrant and set the house on fire, reducing the problem to a previously solved form.

[AwesomeYears]

Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because his face was cut off.

Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because there was no milk left in the bowl.

Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because he was full.

Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because the milk was poisoned.

Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because his house was burnt down.

Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because he was allergic to dairy.

Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because his owner was too poor to buy milk.

Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because he was in the vet.

Why couldn't the cat drink its silk? Because you can't drink silk silly!

Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because he didn't like the taste of it.

Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because he was too busy playing with his yarn.

Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because there was no supermarket where he lives.

Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because the bowl of milk was on the table where he couldn't reach.

Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because he got hit by a car.

[Olimar12345]

Lol I love anti jokes

[Yug_Guy]

Anti jokes are just like food...

Spoiler

...some people don't get it

[close]

[ZeldaFan]

What do you get when you throw a piano down a mineshaft?
A Flat Minor

[Pianist Da Sootopolis]

How about a military base?
A Flat Major

[Dudeman]

King Sammer.

[FireArrow]

What did the Leper tell the prostitute?
You can keep the tip!