[GCN] Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door - "Smorgs Battle" by mariolegofan

[Bespinben]

Much better. Now that the arrangement itself is in order, we can narrow down on aesthetics:

*I'm going to sound like a broken-record, but hombre....measure distribution. You did a fairly decent job, but there's no reason for m. 5-16 to be squished together in 3 measure systems. You got plenty of space left over on page 3, so you don't need to feel pressured to "fit" things so tightly together.
*Measure 7 -- I see you using complicated accidentals a lot more in your sheets, but it's often not warranted. Instead of writing the trill as B# and C#, just write C and Db.
*M. 19+ -- You were correct in noticing a key change, but it's not C major, but rather C minor. This is important because it will affect how you spell the accidentals in this section (like using Eb instead of D#).
*(Not aesthetics, but still relevant) -- You should check m. 17-18 again. It's not a simple minor triad.

I did give you a hint...

Also, m. 17-18 have some really awesome chords that you should write out.
(I'll give you a hint -- they feature a split third)

[close]

[Sebastian]

Some of these Paper Mario songs are a hard pain in the butt

*I'm going to sound like a broken-record, but hombre....measure distribution. You did a fairly decent job, but there's no reason for m. 5-16 to be squished together in 3 measure systems. You got plenty of space left over on page 3, so you don't need to feel pressured to "fit" things so tightly together.

Fixed.
I put 2 measures per system since no matter how I put it, it won't change the number of pages.

*Measure 7 -- I see you using complicated accidentals a lot more in your sheets, but it's often not warranted. Instead of writing the trill as B# and C#, just write C and Db.

I think was originally an accident. B# and C# is weird XD
Fixed.

*M. 19+ -- You were correct in noticing a key change, but it's not C major, but rather C minor. This is important because it will affect how you spell the accidentals in this section (like using Eb instead of D#).

I had trouble with this.....I tried C minor at first, but it didn't look right.
Fixed.

*(Not aesthetics, but still relevant) -- You should check m. 17-18 again. It's not a simple minor triad.

I did give you a hint...

[close]

Whoops.....didn't see that the first time.
Fixed.

Op links updated.

[Sebastian]

Fixed.

[Sebastian]

Fixed.

[TheMarioPianist]

I'm no expert here, but if I were an updater and saw this, I would intentionally ignore it for a few days. Give them at least a week to get here. I know you fixed Bespinben's changes in a few hours, but he and the other updaters have a massive list of submissions to go through. I wouldn't bump it again unless a week passes or you fall off page 1. That's about it.

[Sebastian]

Aye, you gotta great point!
It's just kinda frustrating not to get it followed up on.

[Sebastian]

I got what we talked about over skype fixed, BespinBen.

[DonValentino]

As far as accidentals go from m. 19+, I think they're all correct except the E flats in the third beats of measures like 21. Since it's an augmented fifth chord, it should be G-Bnat-Dsharp instead of E flat. Other measures with this: 25, 29 and 33.
In 33 though, the C flat should also be B natural.

Also, the systems are too close, do this: Page Layout Tool - Page Layout - Space Systems Evenly... - Page range From 2 to 3 - Place "6" systems on each page.

With that I think it's good to go, but I'll let Bespin or Olimar take a second look just in case I missed a wrong accidental.

[Sebastian]

Fixed.

[Zeta]

This submission has been accepted by Bespinben.

~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot