[DELETED] [NDS] Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Time/Darkness/Sky - "A Grand Tale of Time and Darkness"

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Pokémon
Game: Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Time/Darkness/Sky
Console: Nintendo DS
Title: A Grand Tale of Time and Darkness
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Pianist Da Sootopolis

[Bespinben]

~Ah friendly friends~
I'm going to try my best not to let my overwhelming nostalgia influence this critique (and by that, I mean I usually go overboard to the point of micromanagement when stuff like this shows up). Before I destroy your morale however, I do want to compliment you for having made, in my opinion, one of the most detailed sheets I've ever seen come out of NOTEPAD, of all programs.

The majority of this comment will focus on arranging issues.

1.) Unnecessary 3-staff notation ~ A skillful use of layers, solid/dashed lines, and other voice leading devices could have kept this all neatly on 2 staves.
2.) Lack of ornamentation notation (where applicable) ~ The figure in the LH of m. 1 leading into measure 2 is a flourish that could be abbreviated with a trill. This would prevent messy 32nd notes cluttering the score.
3.) Missing harmony/countermelodies ~ M. 8-13 have WAY more lines than just bass and melody unison. You started off strong in measure 7 with that bombastic AbM7 chord, but then it seems you quickly fizzled out after that.
4.) Registration of voices ~ Measure 19+ is where I have the most gripes. The ostinato just doesn't sound right at all transposed several octaves down as a LH accompaniment. A model I think would better reflect the serenity of that passage would be to have RH on the ostinato, and the LH playing the long-tone bass + melody + choir ahs.

Side-issues:
*There are 5 composers for this game (none of them being Tsukasa Tawada), namely: Arata Iiyoshi, Hideki Sakamoto, Keisuke Ito, Ryoma Nakamura, & Ken-ichi Saito
*For the copyright, I would recommend including Nintendo, Pokémon Co., and Chunsoft.
*Recheck your transcription of the trumpet lines in m. 4 leading into m. 5. The B should be a C.

[Pianist Da Sootopolis]

Many thanks- changing these issues right now in my newly purchased Finale 2014!

[Pianist Da Sootopolis]

Updated, as per your suggestions.

[Tobbeh99]

Emm am I the only one having problems with the playback on the mus-files?? Sometimes I plays back, and sometimes it's entirely muted.

[DonValentino]

Emm am I the only one having problems with the playback on the mus-files?? Sometimes I plays back, and sometimes it's entirely muted.

It happens to me as well, it should be a problem with the audio settings.

[Pianist Da Sootopolis]

Emm am I the only one having problems with the playback on the mus-files?? Sometimes I plays back, and sometimes it's entirely muted.

That happened once or twice when I was arranging it in Finale. I'll see what I can do.

[Pianist Da Sootopolis]

Is there anything else that needs to be done before this is approved?

[Bespinben]

Is there anything else that needs to be done before this is approved?

In my most candid, honest-to-goodness opinion, while I'm very happy you tried a colossal piece such as this, I personally don't feel it's a good arrangement. Perhaps what you could do is withdraw this submission, work on some other less-challenging-pieces that you feel you arrange well, and submit those instead for the update. If you do that, you can keep working on improving your skills, and this won't keep sitting here collecting dust.

[Pianist Da Sootopolis]

Alright. Fair enough.
While I appreciate your honesty, I'd still like to know what can be done to better this.
I re-listened to the arrangement, and I have to agree (especially at the big statement of the main theme) that it's rather lack luster and doesn't do the piece justice, but I'm trying to figure out what I did wrong in specific. Maybe it'd be better to just drop it.