[Wii] Super Paper Mario - "Sammer's Kingdom" (Replacement) by mariolegofan & King Sammer

[Sebastian]

So, updaters whatch  think? Accepted?

[Bespinben]

Pretty good! Lots better than every other sheet and cover I could find on the internet.

*Mark both hands to be played one octave higher than written in measures 2-5. This will also have the side benefit of allowing more space to be between the trill above the C on beat 2 of measure 4 and the low F of measure 1, which are currently colliding.
*Speaking of colliding, the trill in the LH of measure 4 is sitting right inside the note itself!
*There's a super redundant re-statement of the key at m. 6. I'm sure you didn't mean to.
*You have separate dynamics written for measure 2 of the LH and RH, but they are identical, so I would delete the bottom one because it's redundant
*I feel your tempo markings are very "mechanical" - that is, they are very precise numbers like 108 without any indication of mood. This doesn't feel like a mechanical sort of song with demanding a metronome to play exactly 83 and then exactly 108. Consider (keyword is consider - e.g. not mandatory) rounding the numbers and give some text like "regally" or "with pomp". You may not have an expression tool in Notepad, but you do have a text tool that can do the exact same thing.
*Consider writing a new dynamic or expression beginning at m. 14 to help highlight the addition of the extra harmony.
*Also w/ m. 14 -- Remember that talk we had on your Mushroom Gorge sheet about not letting voices "disappear"? In beat 4, the lower voice disappears on beat 4.5, but this can be remedied if you write the lower A as a quarter note in the 2nd layer.
*M. 20 and 21 - The lower voice of the RH overlaps a lot with the melody, and sounds really muddled up. I highly recommend moving it down an octave and have the LH play it, as this would help make both the sound and the presentation cleaner.
*M. 23 - Disappearing voice again on beat 4.5! Use a double stem (in Notepad this can be done using a 2nd layer and then hiding all the preceding rests [and by hiding, I mean moving them so far off the page they won't be printed, since Notepad doesn't let you do "H" force hide)
*M. 27 - There's a double natural on beat 3??? I'm pretty sure it's just Finale being stupid about not combining accidentals from separate layers. Unfortunately, I know of no workaround in Notepad for this, so someone may have to eliminate that one for you.
*M. 30-33 ~~ That LH rhythm does not use tuplets. It goes "eighth, dotted 16th, 32nd", then a rest, then it repeats. Speaking of the rest, I would recommend playing a note there to emulate the percussion that strikes on those beats (that note could just be replaying the lowest note of the synth line).

[Sebastian]

Ok! I'll get on this tomorrow.....when I get on my computer!

[Sebastian]

*Speaking of colliding, the trill in the LH of measure 4 is sitting right inside the note itself!

*You have separate dynamics written for measure 2 of the LH and RH, but they are identical, so I would delete the bottom one because it's redundant

*Consider writing a new dynamic or expression beginning at m. 14 to help highlight the addition of the extra harmony.

*Also w/ m. 14 -- Remember that talk we had on your Mushroom Gorge sheet about not letting voices "disappear"? In beat 4, the lower voice disappears on beat 4.5, but this can be remedied if you write the lower A as a quarter note in the 2nd layer.

*M. 20 and 21 - The lower voice of the RH overlaps a lot with the melody, and sounds really muddled up. I highly recommend moving it down an octave and have the LH play it, as this would help make both the sound and the presentation cleaner.

*M. 23 - Disappearing voice again on beat 4.5! Use a double stem (in Notepad this can be done using a 2nd layer and then hiding all the preceding rests [and by hiding, I mean moving them so far off the page they won't be printed, since Notepad doesn't let you do "H" force hide)

*M. 30-33 ~~ That LH rhythm does not use tuplets. It goes "eighth, dotted 16th, 32nd", then a rest, then it repeats. Speaking of the rest, I would recommend playing a note there to emulate the percussion that strikes on those beats (that note could just be replaying the lowest note of the synth line).

Fixed all this stuff.

*There's a super redundant re-statement of the key at m. 6. I'm sure you didn't mean to.

Darn, I don't know how to fix this with notepad. Can you get it?

*M. 27 - There's a double natural on beat 3??? I'm pretty sure it's just Finale being stupid about not combining accidentals from separate layers. Unfortunately, I know of no workaround in Notepad for this, so someone may have to eliminate that one for you.

I can't get this with notepad. Can you get it please?

*I feel your tempo markings are very "mechanical" - that is, they are very precise numbers like 108 without any indication of mood. This doesn't feel like a mechanical sort of song with demanding a metronome to play exactly 83 and then exactly 108. Consider (keyword is consider - e.g. not mandatory) rounding the numbers and give some text like "regally" or "with pomp". You may not have an expression tool in Notepad, but you do have a text tool that can do the exact same thing.

Again, I can't change this with notepad

*Mark both hands to be played one octave higher than written in measures 2-5. This will also have the side benefit of allowing more space to be between the trill above the C on beat 2 of measure 4 and the low F of measure 1, which are currently colliding.

Can't get this either :/

Thanks for the feedback! If someone can just get these 4 things for me. It'll be accepted!

[Sebastian]

Can anyone help me with this stuff?? I'd like to get this one in with the update.

[Xaoz]

Can anyone help me with this stuff?? I'd like to get this one in with the update.

Sorry already wanted to. Will do so in the next hour!

[Sebastian]

Sorry already wanted to. Will do so in the next hour!

Ok! Thanks!
You have Finale 2012 full version?

[Xaoz]

Ok! Thanks!
You have Finale 2012 full version?

No, just wisdow.

[Sebastian]

No, just wisdow.

Oh.....

[Xaoz]

Actually my wisdow seems to lack, since I cannot change the double # problem of measure 27. You would need to edit cross layer accidentals and my Finale cannot do it... Seems I need to buy the full version...

Please check if I actually got the stuff right or forgot something:
deleted

edited because of possible stupidity...

[Latios212]

Please check if I actually got the stuff right or forgot something:

I think you moved the notes up a few steps short of an octave. I thought Bespinben was just referring to moving the first few measures up, though?

[Xaoz]

I think you moved the notes up a few steps short of an octave. I thought Bespinben was just referring to moving the first few measures up, though?

I actually just moved up measure 2-5. Atleast I thought so... Uhm did Finale do it for the whole piece? Haha, my bad need to check... Sorry!

[Sebastian]

ok.....

[Sebastian]

Is there anyone out there with full 2012?

[King Sammer]

Is there anyone out there with full 2012?

You just found the right guy.