[GCN] Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door - "Reunion" by mariolegofan

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Super Mario
Game: Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door
Console: Nintendo GameCube
Title: Reunion
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: mariolegofan

[attachment deleted by admin]

[Sebastian]

Feedback would be great as soon as anyone gets a chance
Original:

Only thing I wasn't sure about this song is this:
Should I cut out those high notes (in the left hand) from measures 14-21?


EDIT: Bump!

[Sebastian]

Bump

[The Deku Trombonist]

Have a closer listen to the voices in the opening, they move differently to how you have them notated.

[Sebastian]

I think you're right...I'll fix it when I get on a computer. Anything else?

What about this:

Only thing I wasn't sure about this song is this:
Should I cut out those high notes (in the left hand) from measures 14-21?

[Sebastian]

Fixed. Link in OP are fixed.

[Sebastian]

So, anything else so I can get this baby accepted?

[Sebastian]

*Bump*

[The Deku Trombonist]

-Missing harmonies in RH in bar 9.
-Bar 13 can be arranged better. ie put the chord on beat one (which should have a G, not an F#) in the RH and put the bass in the LH. Also, the articulations you currently have don't match the actual note lengths.
-I'd consider putting the bass from 10-13 down an octave.

That's all I've got time for at the moment

[Sebastian]

-Missing harmonies in RH in bar 9.
-Bar 13 can be arranged better. ie put the chord on beat one (which should have a G, not an F#) in the RH and put the bass in the LH. Also, the articulations you currently have don't match the actual note lengths.
-I'd consider putting the bass from 10-13 down an octave.

That's all I've got time for at the moment

Thanks! I'll get right on it!

[Sebastian]

-Missing harmonies in RH in bar 9.
-Bar 13 can be arranged better. ie put the chord on beat one (which should have a G, not an F#) in the RH and put the bass in the LH. Also, the articulations you currently have don't match the actual note lengths.
-I'd consider putting the bass from 10-13 down an octave.

That's all I've got time for at the moment

Fixed. Links in OP are fixed.

[The Deku Trombonist]

Overlapping parts in the beginning are, I suppose annoying, but they can be forgiven. But when you get to the second page, it's just messy. You can omit octaves, or put the whole LH down an octave or whatever, it's up to you. But it needs fixing.

Edit: Just saw you asked about this at the start of the thread. You don't necessarily have to get rid of them, just find something that works.

And the first bar LH is an octave too high.

You missed an eighth note in the bottom layer of the RH at the very very end.

[Sebastian]

Overlapping parts in the beginning are, I suppose annoying, but they can be forgiven. But when you get to the second page, it's just messy. You can omit octaves, or put the whole LH down an octave or whatever, it's up to you. But it needs fixing.

Edit: Just saw you asked about this at the start of the thread. You don't necessarily have to get rid of them, just find something that works.

And the first bar LH is an octave too high.

You missed an eighth note in the bottom layer of the RH at the very very end.

Ok!
I'll fix it when I get on my computer

[Sebastian]

Overlapping parts in the beginning are, I suppose annoying, but they can be forgiven. But when you get to the second page, it's just messy. You can omit octaves, or put the whole LH down an octave or whatever, it's up to you. But it needs fixing.

Edit: Just saw you asked about this at the start of the thread. You don't necessarily have to get rid of them, just find something that works.

And the first bar LH is an octave too high.

You missed an eighth note in the bottom layer of the RH at the very very end.

All fixed!

[Sebastian]

All fixed!

Accepted?