The Third Annual NSM Superlatives

[Olimar12345]

Huh, I thought you lived in Texas. My bad!

HNG... Oh, the stereotypes...

[MaestroUGC]

This is why I don't give out my place of residence.

[SlowPokemon]

I went to Texas over the summer and it was hands down the worst place I've ever been I'm never going back

[mikey]

Visit minnesota.

We got several feet of snow for thanksgiving but for some reason there's no snow for christmas ._.

[Bubbles]

HNG... Oh, the stereotypes...

try nj lol

[DrP]

Oh no. Not "my state is worse than your state" again! Every state in the US has its positives and negatives.

And for Europe, Vodka is only associated with Eastern Europe. Western Europe is known for wine and coffee (namely France). and I hate vodka. College ruined vodka and tequila.

And that American description. I haven't done/wore any of that (except the coffee stuff).

[Bloop]

shhh don't lie you've done all that's been described

[SuperFireKirby]

HOW DID I NOT GET MOST AMERICAN. THIS IS MY FREAKING FB BANNER:


THIS CONTEST IS A SCAM. I HAVE HALF A MIND TO ENACT MY 2ND AMENDMENT RIGHTS AND SHOOT SOMEONE IN THE FACE.

[Mashi]

true patriotism is civilly dumping tea in the harbour tho
while our 13 bold eagles watch
and devour british scum

EDIT: By the way, I am silently keeping track of this!!!  Literally the best Superlatives yet, blueflower999, you're doing a fantastic job.

[MaestroUGC]

Literally the best Superlatives yet, blueflower999, you're doing a fantastic job.

Well now, don't need to lie to the boy...

He is doing a great job, though.

[MaestroUGC]

A suggestion: Can you put all the winners in spoiler tags in the OP?

[blueflower999]

A suggestion: Can you put all the winners in spoiler tags in the OP?

Yeah, I was planning on doing this. I will when I have time.

[blueflower999]

I knew you guys needed an extra day to recover from those previous Superlatives, which is why I waited a day. Not because I was lazy or anything.

Most Likely to Succeed

Winner: Maestro!

Of course Maestro wins this! With his aspirations to become the greatest composer ever, moderator of NSM forums, and President of the Universe, who could possibly suck more seed than him? In fact, I hear rumors that anyone who votes for him for President in the 2028 election will be provided a free seed to suck courtesy of Maestro Enterprises™. That's how dedicated our future leader is, folks.

Runner-up: Dr. P!

If drinking a lot of coffee in life is the key to success... well... looks like I have some dietary changes to make. Here's to the future CEO of Starbucks!

[close]

Best Vocabulary

Winner: Mashi!

Mashi's vocabulary is expansive. Although his most common everyday words of choice are "OFC," "ya," and "frivolous." Just don't get him started on a scientific or mathematics discussion, or his vast knowledge will quickly lose you. Yeah, Mashi probably sleeps on the dictionary every night.

Runner-up: Fierce Deity!

In order to make such compelling arguments and tl;dr posts over in other threads, Fierce of course has to use language that isn't overly redundant. After a few thousand sentences that use the same words over and over, they become over-used. Therefore, to write the novellas that he posts, Fierce needs to keep a thesaurus over by his computer to make sure he doesn't overuse the same word over and over and over. That's why his vocabulary is overwhelming.

Whew, glad that's over.

Honorable Mention: Maestro!

Similarly to Fierce Deity, Maestro has to keep his expansive vocabulary up to date for his upcoming speeches. Particularly the ones that he makes to run for Presidency and for receiving these prestigious awards. I doubt Maestro uses a thesaurus though, it's probably all already stored in that brilliant mind of his.

What, did you expect me to write all of this using super-advanced words? Nah, I've made enough of a fool of myself already with these!

[close]

Best Eyes

Winner: Slow  Pokemon!

Stare into the eyes of the beautiful Slow   Pokemon and you'll immediately fall into a hypnotic trance. It's probably really handy to hypnotize people over the internet. It's a good thing he doesn't show up in the Tinychat too often, or we'd probably all be worshiping Slow's ultra sexy eyeballs. Mmm.

Runner-up: Waddle Bro!

I'm sure Slow and Waddle Bro could stare into each other's eyes all day.

...and that's as far as I'm going with that.

[close]

Best Hair

Winner: Fierce Deity!

Really? Fierce has hair? What hair?. Oh, you guys like that little blonde curly thing? Or is it the blonde mustache?

I don't know, I'm grasping at straws here. You guys don't give me anything to work with, you know that? Maybe the best hair is lack of hair. NSM has a bald people fetish or something. I wouldn't be surprised if that little blonde curl and the mustache plus the smooth, shiny top is enough to turn all you guys on. Yep, that has to be it.

Runner-up: Nebbles!

Ah, now this makes much more sense. Nebbles has a full head a gorgeous, long, flowing hair. I always wonder how much time girls like Nebbles have to put into their hair to make it look nice, but however much it is, it sure pays off!

Honorable Mentions: Winter and Zoroark!

If you haven't checked the Face to the Name thread, Winter has a nice goatee thing going for him, even if his hair isn't as long as it was previously. Zoroark, on the other hand styles his hair... interestingly. I don't know, you guys seem to like it, so who am I to judge? At least he has hair.

[close]

Best Reviewer of Stuff

Winner: Blueflower!

I really don't even deserve to win this considering that my Christmas marathon tradition thinger has sort of flopped this year because I've been taking all my time to write up these Superlatives. Whatever though, I'm just glad that somebody reads my reviews and likes them, so I thank everyone who does from the bottom of my heart. 

Runner-up: Slow    Pokemon!

Slowball over here is the only NSM member that I'm aware of to operate not one, but two review threads. Slow reviews both games and musical scores, and very well I might add. His soundtrack reviews are very thorough (much more so than I could ever do), and for a non-musician like me, it's really amazing how much he can say about pieces. His game reviews, though, could use some work. He only gives good reviews to games that he's played recently. Also, I'm still waiting to see what the Best Graphics of 2013 were!!!

Honorable Mention: Wolf

Wolfy started his NOT SO POPULAR game reviews about a year ago, and since then they've been getting KIND OF POPULAR. He doesn't really give games a score, doesn't really update the table of contents on the first post, and doesn't really make a whole lot of sense. But hey, I'll give him this: his reviews are entertaining, and I like his taste in games.

[close]

Best to Bring Home to a Mom and Dad

Winner: King Sammer!

Haha, very funny guys. You guys all want to introduce King Sammer to your parents so he can go BLEHBLUHBGHLBHGBLUH and then have sex so he can BLEHBLUHBGHLBHG all over you, and then marry him in the Temple of the Goddess of BLEHBLUHBGHLBHGBLUHBGHUH. Yeah, I'm starting to understand NSM's twisted fantasies now.

Runner-up: Nebbles!

I don't know why Nebbles keeps getting beaten by these joke answers, but whatever. I don't choose the winners, I just tell you about them. And break ties. Although I'm glad to see that a pretty girl like Nebbles is taking a backseat to King Sammer in NSM's ranking of attractiveness. Great community, aren't we?

Honorable Mention: Ruto!

Rutato I'm sure would be fun to introduce to my parents, if only there wasn't the issue of Mr. Scary-Pants Kefka over there looking at me through the scope of a sniper rifle. 

[close]

[braix]

so blue
are you talking about my shoulder length hair, my firey hair, or my current hair? ur not very clear

but gj anyway ur jokes arent pathetic

[BlackDragonSlayer]

Gasp! An insult to decency! I am appalled that you should consider that any besides I would have the dominant vocabulary (except maybe mashi <3)!