The Third Annual NSM Superlatives

[FireArrow]

hey lemme fight fierce, i never got to face him in dat tourney ;-;

[Sebastian]

BLUE ILY

[blueflower999]

This award gets its own separate post because it's clearly the most prestigious of all the Superlatives. Our winners will be meeting with the President in three months from today's date to be congratulated on their skills.

Best Ping Pong Player

Winner: Blueflower!

This was no competition, I'm clearly the best traditional tabletop racquet-based games. Don't believe me? Challenge me to a game of ping pong, and you'll be crushed to smithereens. I could even take on two people at once by myself. In about three weeks, I will be hosting the Valentine's Day Ping Pong Tournament, which is the most important tournament of the year. Anyone who would like to participate can PM me, but I guarantee your downfall will be a direct result of my mad ping pong skills. Challengers are still welcome, though, because I've been bored lately and I need a chance to show off.

Runner-up: Fire Arrow!

Fire Arrow's not nearly as good at ping pong as I am, but I suppose he's good in his own right. After all, he did learn from the best. His backhand is strong, he's got good reflexes, and he was a strong contender in the Christmas Ping Pong Tournament. Will he be going for the gold in February? Absolutely. Will he make it there? Not a chance, unless I sprain my wrist in a 2-on-1 match. Yeah, not likely.

Honorable Mention: Slow Pokemon!

Slow Ping Pong over here is my current project. My protégé, if you will. Slow might be better than me at pretty much everything else, but we're still working on his ping pong skills. That being said, he has come a long way. The one problem is that Slow's brother apparently thinks that he's some sort of ping pong champion or something, and might be a challenger to the patented Blueflower-Ultimate-Ping-Pong-Spike technique. Nah.

[close]

[Sebastian]

I love ping pong! But I dont have anyoone to play with

[FireArrow]

I call hogwash! Last time I played you it wasn't even a match. You mispredicted my spins every time!

[FireArrow]

Proof:

Spoiler

[close]

[Saria]

Why does Kefka always win "scariest"! In real life he's not threatening at all! Even my RATS made him flinch! GAHAHA

[mikey]

becuz he haz scurry internezt swage

[braix]

rats r cute

[blueflower999]

Here's the post to wrap everything up! Hopefully!

Most Fun In Bed

Winner: SFK!

Seeing as how half of SFK's posts are at least partially in all capitals, I don't think my ears would survive this ordeal intact. I'd have an eargasm, if you will.

Runner-up: JaMaHa!

yes jamaha. order me around like you do in the military. oh i like that. mmmmmm

Honorable Mention: Slow Pokemon!

I'm not going through my sexual fantasies with Slow Pokemon again here. Although I've been considering adding a shovel to our Ping Pong Sex setup.

[close]

Most

Winner: King Sammer!

A big welcome back to our long-departed savior of the forums-- Oh wait, he left again didn't he? What even is this post??? Yeah, I don't even know what to say. 

Runner-up: Mario Lego Fan!

MLF's posts have been significantly less  lately. He's made a lot of  posts in the past, but he's not talking about explosive diarrhea or anything, so I suppose we can put the past behind us. Am I right? Guys? 

Honorable Mention: Wolf!

Definitely my candidate for the most  , Wolf's posts often make little-to-no sense, and that's what I absolutely love about him. Wolf makes games like The Person Below Me game that much more entertaining.

[close]

Best Debater

Winner: Fierce Deity!

Yeah, no one can really debate this. Although I guess maybe he could. Anyway, Fierce got nominated by nearly every person who nominated someone, which really shows how much skill he has in rhetoric. He's the king of tl;dr, and his arguments can usually go on until a moderator forces it to stop. Fierce doesn't back down. You mess with Fierce, you get a Fierce Deity and a whole crapton of text in your face.

Runner-up: Mario Lego Fan!

Yep, I'm just going to leave this here. MLF doesn't really make huge, long posts like Fierce does, but I give him props for standing up for his beliefs even when everyone else seems to be against him. You still need to watch what you post sometimes, buddy, but I admire your passion.

Honorable Mention: BDS!

Black Dragon Slayer has become infamous for starting ridiculous debates recently. Put him and Fierce Deity in a room together and they'd probably go for hours or until they ran out of air to breathe.

[close]

Biggest Hipster

Winner: Dr. P!

Yep, our favorite coffee-drinkin' and cigarette-smokin' redneck is, by overwhelming opinion, the biggest hipster on the forums. Always keeping up with the latest trends, fashion, and tax-related... things. Hmm, that's interesting. I wonder what state he lives in?

Oh. Well that explains it all.

Runner-up: SFK!

I'm not even really sure what to say here, honestly! SFK is such an uber hipster and you've all clearly caught on to it. He's so up to date with pop culture that he used to be a n00btuber like you, but then he #took #an #arrow #in #the #knee.

[close]

Most Fabulous

Winner: Nebbles!

Ghost Queen Nebbles is fantabulously fabulous, and you all can't say anything otherwise. What could be more fabulous than red hair, a Robin cosplay, and a boatload of Pokemon plushies and other assorted Nintendo-related merchandise? Nothing, that's what. Nebbles almost won a spot in the Hipster category, but the fabulous category suits her much better. Besides, have you seen the selfies that she posts? Fabulousss~

Runner-up: SFK!

Welp, I guess SFK is a fabulous hipster. He's also uber American and fun in bed, and I guess a lot of other things. He sure finds his way around. I wonder how many pieces of assorted Nintendo-related merchandise he has.

Honorable Mentions: Slow and Mashi!

I also award Slow the dropped "Most Likely To Be An Ice Fairy" award. Why? Because he's just that fabulous, that's why. Also, Mashi pretends a problem doesn't exist to solve it, and bends the laws of math and physics to his whim.

[close]

Best Host For Next Year's NSM Superlatives

Let me preface this by saying that I'm all in favor of any of the following three people hosting. They're all great and I feel like all of them could do a great job, significantly better than I did at least!

Winner: K-Night!

Please don't make every award a novel or we'll be here until 2016

Runner-up: Fierce Deity!

Please don't make every award a tl;dr or we'll be here until 2017

Honorable Mention: Zoroark!

Please don't make every award 1264 lines long or we'll be here until 1,264,523,903

[close]

And there you have it! Congratulations to everyone who won things, thanks to everyone who nominated/voted, and thanks a lot to all of you who put up with me throughout all this. It was a lot of fun! 

[braix]

Best Host For Next Year's NSM Superlatives

Let me preface this by saying that I'm all in favor of any of the following three people hosting. They're all great and I feel like all of them could do a great job, significantly better than I did at least!

Winner: K-Night!

Please don't make every award a novel or we'll be here until 2016

Runner-up: Fierce Deity!

Please don't make every award a tl;dr or we'll be here until 2017

Honorable Mention: Zoroark!

Please don't make every award 1264 lines long or we'll be here until 1,264,523,903

[close]

AHAHA NICE

[DrP]

#iamnotahipster

I guess San Francisco is rubbing of on me!
I guess San Francisco's culture is blending with my own

[Nebbles]

I am obviously the most fabulous.

[MaestroUGC]

I'm failing to see a final tally of all my winnings.

[SuperFireKirby]

Woo actually won something. I was hip before hipsters so I'm glad I didn't win that superlative. Mainstream recognition is so lame.