Maestro Advises You on Things

[Dude]

how can i stop hating someone?

[MaestroUGC]

how can i stop hating someone?

Hate is such an ugly word, so instead try referring to it as "an intense dislike of the subject at hand." Soon you'll find that you don't, in fact, hate anything.

Or maybe you still will because being spiteful is such a basic human trait that it's foolish to fight it.

-Best Wishes
Maestro

[Maelstrom]

How do I stop Fierce/BDS from arguing?

[MaestroUGC]

How do I stop Fierce/BDS from arguing?

There are some things that are woven into the fabric of the universe that to go against it would be tantamount to undoing that very fabric that keeps you from unexisting yourself.

Alternatively you can just call them both idiots and refer to my own greatness and they should fall in line. If that doesn't work then just run because they will cause a singularity that will destroy anything and everything in its way.

-Best Wishes
Maestro

[Bloop]

Well Satan has had millennia to practice climbing out of things, so you were doomed to lose even if he didn't have vast unworldly powers.

He climbed out of some kind of bar manager when I met him. Oh well, I think he's a cool guy

[Waddle Bro]

THIS TOPIC MY LUNGS

[SlowPokemon]

How do I save Waddle from laughing to death?

[mikey]

How do I save Waddle from laughing to death?

Whoever said he was laughing

[braix]

oh my god this topic is the best

[BlackDragonSlayer]

Whoever said he was laughing

What if he wants to integrate the topic with his lungs? How would one do that, oh mighty Maestro?

[mikey]

BDS brings up a valid point

[Bloop]

Mister Maestro, how do sleep before my father gets up to work? His alarm clock goes off on 03:00 (about now) and I have heard it 3 days in a row

His alarm clock is also like the scariest thing ever ;_;

[Dude]

His alarm clock is also like the scariest thing ever ;_;

is it the alarm clock from hidamari sketch?

[MaestroUGC]

How do I save Waddle from laughing to death?

Death by laughter is one of life's greatest honors, why would you try to save him? Seriously, what is wrong with you? Why would you deprive someone of such divine pleasure? Death by laughter is like reaching nirvana, but only more giggly.

But if you're hell bent on dooming this person to a laugh-less death (a laugh-y death caused by me, mind you,) all you have to do is punch him the kidneys while singing Deutschland über alles. This may cause some violent retaliation, but you deserve if for such a crass and brutish action.

-Best Wishes
Maestro

[MaestroUGC]

What if he wants to integrate the topic with his lungs? How would one do that, oh mighty Maestro?

This is a tricky procedure, but all he would have to do is lay down on top of his computer, run his ether-net cord though his mouth and out his rectum and plug it in to his computer (or just eat his wireless adapter) log into this forum and open a Google Doc and fill out both to say the exact same thing. Send the document to 6069babycakes9606@hotmail.com and submit the post as a new topic in Story Telling titled "Eat Me: A Tale of Tacos and How I Beat the Herpes".

Wait 30 minutes before removing the cord or adapter from inside his bowels and you'll find your chest now picks up Wi-Fi, this is normal. Then simply use his chest to log back into this forum and just make a post here in this thread. He should begin to feel a tightening of his chest and soon lose the ability to breath. He'll then be integrated with this thread.

For about 9 minutes; at which point his chest should implode, opening a gateway to what is simply known as "The Hub" and everything withing a 10 mile radius will be sucked into it, becoming one with Serverlor,  The Mighty Keeper and Saver of the Interweb.

You'll have to hold a closed casket funeral.

-Best Wishes
Maestro