Maelstrom's Arrangements - 8th Anniversary - Xeno Suprise

[Maelstrom]

Beneath the Duchy's Banner (Bravely Default) should be up sometime later this week.
Paper Mario
Angry Bowser
[PDF] [.mus] [midi]
Original:

[Sebastian]

Beneath the Duchy's Banner (Bravely Default) should be up sometime later this week.
Paper Mario
Angry Bowser
[PDF] [.mus] [midi]
Original:

Ooh! Not bad, good work

[FierceDeity]

This is certainly a nice way to make this arrangement work. Kudos.

A few things:
-In the intro, it's really hard to rhythmically place that "G B C# D" figure in a way that makes sense to read, so I understand why you wrote it as sixteenth notes where you did. However, the original sounds a lot more like the figure's landing on beat 3, than the last sixteenth note of beat 3, and the sixteenth note thing you have written sounds a bit too clean/slow. I would go with a sixteenth note triplet on the offbeat of 2.

-Then, the figure that you have starting in measure 2 actually starts a sixteenth note earlier. So, each of those notes except for the half note (the note before it is actually a dotted eighth, or a sixteenth tied to an eighth as I'd write it) is a sixteenth note earlier. The half note should also be notated as an eighth note tied to a dotted quarter note, so as to make beat 3 more evident.

-Those sixteenth note figures that you have in measures 4 and 6 could definitely be tremolos and trills, respectively. Again, sixteenth notes starting on the beat sound way too clean/slow, to me. Measure six would be a trill between the notes you currently have; measure 4 would be a tremolo either between the E and an octave below it, or a fourth below it. The measure 4 figure, I would say, starts more on the last sixteenth note before beat 2. Idk, I just think that "evenly placed sixteenth notes" is way too clean-cut for the style of the original. Tremolos aren't always the way to go with this stuff, especially considering there's only one note played repeatedly in the original, but the trill would actually be a lot more accurate. Play around with it, see what you like, but never think you're limited to "Well, piano can't play it exactly like plucked strings (I wanna say this is sitar), so better just leave it simple." There are a lot of methods piano can employ to simulate other things, and I've found that tremolos, for one, can bipass a lot of instrument-specific difficulties, such as crescendos, or really fast picking.

-Don't feel that you have to be constrained to whole notes every measure, for the left hand. There are some bassline figures that you can always take advantage of, if you want to. Mostly, every figure played by that voice that I can only describe as "super low electric guitar sound" (Paper Mario timbres are confusing as fuck). This would be particularly effective in the section at measure 19. But yeah, seeing as the harmonies in the LH for this piece aren't nearly as important as just the bass note, feel free to play around and see what works to include.

-For all of my complaining about rhythmic accuracy in the beginning, for 27 to the end, I think you did pretty well (at least, it has the right sound to it; I haven't checked specific rhythms, but that's not quite as important as capturing the sound). The problem in the RH, though, is legibility of notation. With as many sixteenth notes as this, you'll probably want to make the beginning of every beat apparent. So, for example, measure 27, you'd want to make that dotted eighth note into an eighth note tied to a sixteenth note (also, move that eighth rest to the right a bit, I almost didn't even see it XD).

-While everything other than the bass in the LH certainly does drop out at 27, it sounds pretty empty for a piano arrangement. You might want to include the octave above it, just to provide a full sound while emphasizing the bass note.

-The 8va seems unnecessary for measure 27-30. It's totally acceptable to start an 8va or 8vb halfway through a period.

-Speaking of 8va/8vb, I'm not really sure why they're rewritten so many times XD my guess is that you were trying to put it onto the sheet music, and Finale's lame dragging mechanics weren't working so well with it. What you do, in that case, is switch to Scroll View (view > scroll view), so that you can just drag in in a line, from start to finish. That way, you don't have a bunch of randomly placed 8vb's and 8va's, where the dotted line alone would be enough to signify that it continues.

Lastly, there's always the option of incorporating the percussion rhythms; but, since I haven't tried it myself for this piece, idk how feasible it is in this situation.

Critique aside, gj.

[Maelstrom]

Thanks, Fierce. I'll change it asap. I'm just surprised I was actually did it. Now, if only I could do the same thing for Serpent Eating the Ground..... 

[Jompa]

Also, the key signature should be E-minor

[Maelstrom]

Also, the key signature should be E-minor

Are you sure? It may seems to center around E, so you may be right. But the accidentals line up with D harmonic minor

[Maelstrom]

It's been updated. I couldn't get the bass in, partly because of difficulty, and partially because I am now sick of this song.

[Jompa]

Are you sure? It may seems to center around E, so you may be right. But the accidentals line up with D harmonic minor

Yes I'm sure. Basing the key signature of the accidentals is totally wrong.

[Maelstrom]

OK. Changing it now.

[Maelstrom]

WIP-Serpent Eating The Ground.
Normally I don't do this, but since this is an absurdly long song, I'd like some feedback on the first half, messy as it is, rather than asking for feedback on the 6:38 song when completed
[.mus]

I only did the first part (you'll know when it changes) It repeats once at about the 1:37 mark.

[FireArrow]

At first glace:
Add some bass to the chords in the beginning to imitate the synth sound.
I'd make the runs in parallel thirds and reduce the chords in the L.H. (though this then brings playability into question.)

EDIT: Oh shit, you need to add that bass guitar in. Didn't notice that before (repeating eight notes in the L.H. when the runs come in.)

[Maelstrom]

OK, so I just finished Serpent Eating the Ground tonight. It still has a few hiccups, but it's pretty much all there.
I'll be gone for a week and be able to view feedback and make a few alterations, but I'm not taking a keyboard with me so I can't make major changes.
[PDF] [.mus] [midi]

Original:

[Maelstrom]

Bump for feedback.

[Jompa]

Given that it's midnight where I live I'm just gonna say that apart from wrong key signatures and wrong use of accidentals, as well as mistakes both harmonically and rhythmically, the biggest issue here is your note beamings.

[Maelstrom]

Yeah, it's a first draft.  I guess I shouldn't have bumped it till I got home and cleaned it all up. I see the beaming problems now that you mention them.  That shouldn't be too hard to fix. Where are the keys wrong? (just respond tomorrow)