BDS Wastes Your Time With Silly Game Reviews!

[mikey]

inb4 zoroark and wolf screaming "WUKONG"
after me of course

[BlackDragonSlayer]

"final boss... what it TESTING a game!?!?"             

Separate thought incorporated into the sentence through the use of an ellipsis (e.g. The final boss is easier than the first! Have these people heard of testing their game?).

[Maelstrom]

But also a typo. That didn't help. 

[BlackDragonSlayer]

i don't see any typo 0 :-D

[BlackDragonSlayer]

1-800-DEMONS (SNES)

"That the reason why they are not fallen already and do not fall now is only that God's appointed time is not come. For it is said, that when that due time, or appointed time comes, their foot shall slide. Then they shall be left to fall, as they are inclined by their own weight. God will not hold them up in these slippery places any longer, but will let them go; and then, at that very instant, they shall fall into destruction; as he that stands on such slippery declining ground, on the edge of a pit, he cannot stand alone, when he is let go he immediately falls and is lost." - Jonathan Edwards

WARNING! The following review is a review of an EXTREMELY GRAPHIC game. Its content may be DISTURBING to some readers; for this fact, all images depicting the game have been put into spoiler tags! Open the tags at your own risk! Thank you for your time, and please enjoy the review.

1-800-DEMONS is a very sinful thing. In this "video game," you control a sinful demon channeler- nameless, of course- who summons demons to earth in order to reap the souls of the living. It is your job to kill as many people as you can, while summoning more and more demons to destroy the world. From the beginning, the morals and lessons this game imparts- or lack thereof- are absolutely shocking, and revealing of the immorality of the youth of this day. These "video games" are an immoral tool that should be destroyed and kept down to preserve the integrity of our growing and impressionable youth. However, I fear that for many, it is too late.

Spoiler

Hell beckons you.

[close]

Hellish images frequently pop up during the game, serving to further rally the innocent youth, who know not what they do, to the cause of the Devil. Guns of many kinds are used as weapons of destruction in this game, or so I have heard, blowing apart poor people who struggle to survive against the onslaught of demons- betrayed by one of their own!

Spoiler

Psalm 140:4

[close]

In the very final level of the game, your demon channeler visits the heart of hell to converge with his demonic overlords and plot the final downfall of the human species and all that is good. How this game was even allowed to be sold, I know not, but I do know that it is a great irresponsibility on the hands of the lawmakers if they think this thing is a positive influence on our youths! This game teaches witchery and the practice of summoning demons with black magic! It is violent and unholy! If such a game proposes to preach violence and sin, we shall see a decline in society! Already has this game prompted youths to go mad and kill others! When, I ask, will the light finally reach peoples' eyes, and they see that these abominations called "video games" must be brought to and end! Have people strayed so far from God's graces that they are blind when Satanic influences scream right in front of their eyes!?

Spoiler

Summoning more minions for your armies.

[close]

1-800-DEMONS is a very sinful thing. If you play this game, you are a sinful demon channeler, and you will be damned to the fiery pits of hell by the righteous fury of the heavens. I urge you, before it is too late, to avoid this game at all costs.

Pros:
+ A classic game ported to a classic console.

Cons:
- Slow frame rate and frequent lag.
- Bad sound and graphics.
- The fact that the game is available on pretty much any other console, but better.

Final Score: 3.6/10

Reviewer Notes:

• We must strive to keep ourselves pure in times of trouble such as these, despite the evils all around us.

[Maelstrom]

*Doom

[Waddle Bro]

[MaestroUGC]

"I tried to play Doom last night but it crashed."
"Why?"
"Printer ran out of toner."

[Sebastian]

1-800-DEMONS (SNES)

"That the reason why they are not fallen already and do not fall now is only that God's appointed time is not come. For it is said, that when that due time, or appointed time comes, their foot shall slide. Then they shall be left to fall, as they are inclined by their own weight. God will not hold them up in these slippery places any longer, but will let them go; and then, at that very instant, they shall fall into destruction; as he that stands on such slippery declining ground, on the edge of a pit, he cannot stand alone, when he is let go he immediately falls and is lost." - Jonathan Edwards

WARNING! The following review is a review of an EXTREMELY GRAPHIC game. Its content may be DISTURBING to some readers; for this fact, all images depicting the game have been put into spoiler tags! Open the tags at your own risk! Thank you for your time, and please enjoy the review.

1-800-DEMONS is a very sinful thing. In this "video game," you control a sinful demon channeler- nameless, of course- who summons demons to earth in order to reap the souls of the living. It is your job to kill as many people as you can, while summoning more and more demons to destroy the world. From the beginning, the morals and lessons this game imparts- or lack thereof- are absolutely shocking, and revealing of the immorality of the youth of this day. These "video games" are an immoral tool that should be destroyed and kept down to preserve the integrity of our growing and impressionable youth. However, I fear that for many, it is too late.

Spoiler

Hell beckons you.

[close]

Hellish images frequently pop up during the game, serving to further rally the innocent youth, who know not what they do, to the cause of the Devil. Guns of many kinds are used as weapons of destruction in this game, or so I have heard, blowing apart poor people who struggle to survive against the onslaught of demons- betrayed by one of their own!

Spoiler

Psalm 140:4

[close]

In the very final level of the game, your demon channeler visits the heart of hell to converge with his demonic overlords and plot the final downfall of the human species and all that is good. How this game was even allowed to be sold, I know not, but I do know that it is a great irresponsibility on the hands of the lawmakers if they think this thing is a positive influence on our youths! This game teaches witchery and the practice of summoning demons with black magic! It is violent and unholy! If such a game proposes to preach violence and sin, we shall see a decline in society! Already has this game prompted youths to go mad and kill others! When, I ask, will the light finally reach peoples' eyes, and they see that these abominations called "video games" must be brought to and end! Have people strayed so far from God's graces that they are blind when Satanic influences scream right in front of their eyes!?

Spoiler

Summoning more minions for your armies.

[close]

1-800-DEMONS is a very sinful thing. If you play this game, you are a sinful demon channeler, and you will be damned to the fiery pits of hell by the righteous fury of the heavens. I urge you, before it is too late, to avoid this game at all costs.

Pros:
+ A classic game ported to a classic console.

Cons:
- Slow frame rate and frequent lag.
- Bad sound and graphics.
- The fact that the game is available on pretty much any other console, but better.

Final Score: 3.6/10

Reviewer Notes:

• We must strive to keep ourselves pure in times of trouble such as these, despite the evils all around us.

I totally agree with this
Excellent work

[BlackDragonSlayer]

I totally agree with this

._.

What part of it.

[Sebastian]

All Of it

[K-NiGhT]

are you real

[mikey]

are you real

are you fake

[Sebastian]

are you real

What do you mean?

[Olimar12345]

He's probably just poking fun at how your post(s) seems hollow and lacks much purpose.