The NSM Advice Column

[Winter]

I think my mom would disown me if I ever HAD a religion.

[Toby]

Lovely Mum you got there

[ZeldaFan]

Nothing's wrong with the Mormon religion. While some (probably most) people don't believe in it, and that's fine, Mormon doctrine and values improve the lives of millions, I suppose just as much as other religions do. The church is one of the biggest contributors to charity work and service in the world. They do a lot of good things.

I was born and raised a Mormon, I still believe the doctrine, but I don't go to church anymore. I try my best to be more open-minded than most other Mormons, but I do agree that there are a lot of crazy ones out there, especially in northern Utah. I respect other religions; I don't believe I'm "better" or "right" just because I'm Mormon. If you want to learn more about the religion, I suggest you judge it by its doctrines, not by the members.

Also, the 2-year religious mission is a choice, not a requirement.

Concerto, if you believe your parents would kick you out of the house if you told them, I may suggest that you move out before telling them the news. I would hope that they wouldn't do something so drastic, but I feel bad that you can't tell your parents the truth because of their religion 

[Concerto No.20 in D minor]

I was also born and raised mormon, but I vehemently disagree when you say there is nothing wrong with the religion.

[ZeldaFan]

Alright. I'm not trying to start a debate. You have your opinion and I have mine.

I have an issue that applies to religion as well. My current boyfriend believes there is a higher power but doesn't follow any particular religion. Of course being in a Mormon family, my parents and siblings all disagree with my choice to date him. We currently live together and have talked about marriage in the future. I know my entire family would be opposed to that, but everyone else keeps telling me that it's my life, my choice. However, my family would be crushed, maybe stop talking to me, etc. if we did get married...

So I guess my question is... Do I follow my religion and family's advice and break up? Try to convert him to my religion? Or keep dating and forget what my family says about it?

[SuperFireKirby]

If this is someone you could seriously see yourself spending the rest of your life with, ya know, someone you really love, then your family can deal with it.

I agree with you. Despite Mormonism's reputation, I see no problem in following it, or any other religion. But if someone uses their religion as an excuse to be either ignorant or an asshole, that is not okay. And disapproving of who someone marries or ex-communicating your daughter based on religion is very much an asshole-ish thing to do.

I suppose you could try to convert him, or just ask him if he can pretend, but that shouldn't even be something you should have to do. Christianity teaches acceptance and love for all, not just those within your faith. Your family might need to figure that out.

[ZeldaFan]

Christianity teaches acceptance and love for all, not just those within your faith. Your family might need to figure that out.

I know... I believe that's what a LOT of Christian people need to realize, Mormons included.
Thanks for the advice.

[Concerto No.20 in D minor]

Alright. I'm not trying to start a debate. You have your opinion and I have mine.

I have an issue that applies to religion as well. My current boyfriend believes there is a higher power but doesn't follow any particular religion. Of course being in a Mormon family, my parents and siblings all disagree with my choice to date him. We currently live together and have talked about marriage in the future. I know my entire family would be opposed to that, but everyone else keeps telling me that it's my life, my choice. However, my family would be crushed, maybe stop talking to me, etc. if we did get married...

So I guess my question is... Do I follow my religion and family's advice and break up? Try to convert him to my religion? Or keep dating and forget what my family says about it?

If you're family wasn't mormon/religious they probably would be fine with it.  Also how many times have you dated?  Just wondering because thinking of marriage at age 21 is a bit premature.......it's almost like you're a morm....oh wait.

[FSM-Reapr]

Just wondering because thinking of marriage at age 21 is a bit premature...

Yeah, I agree with this 100%

Edit: Wait a second... 

[Nebbles]

If you really love your boyfriend, ignore what your family says. Don't let them decide your life for you. Your happiness presides over theirs - if you love him a lot and want to get married, get married. Make yourself happy first and don't try and please other people.

[SlowPokemon]

Yeah, I agree with this 100%

Edit: Wait a second...

*coughing fit* 18

[Toby]

What's wrong with getting married at 21? It's a perfectly normal age to do so.

[MaestroUGC]

It's still generally considered an early age to do so. Not as early as 18, granted, but most people in the US usually get married around 25-27.<sup>[1]

[1] U.S. Census Bereau</sup>

[Jamaha]

It still feels a bit weird when people I know who are of the same age as I am get married. Then I realize that I'm almost 23 and already a few years into adulthood. I mean, when did that happen?

[MaestroUGC]

A few years ago.