Maestro Plays Games Too!!!!!

[Olimar12345]

Eat a d*** Miyamoto.

The moment where I lost it xD

[blueflower999]

I died laughing.

[K-NiGhT]

I died laughing.

then you shouldnt be posting

You died.

[BlackDragonSlayer]

then you shouldnt be posting

You died.

Well, it is that time of the year...

[MaestroUGC]

Super Mario W-

F***!

[mikey]

 

[InsigTurtle]

Can we count on having a review of Super Mario World?

[MaestroUGC]

Monopoly
Satan's Greatest Success

Wait a minute, this isn't a video game. This is just a board game that has been adapted, very poorly, various times to a video game setting. Plus this game took one of my kidneys.

No. I'm not reviewing a board game here.

I will never review a board game here.

What are you going to do about it?

[BlackDragonSlayer]

No. I'm not reviewing a board game here.

I will never review a board game here.

What are you going to do about it?

I will bankrupt you.

[Clanker37]

What are you going to do about it?

Go directly to jail. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200

[MaestroUGC]

Last time on Maestro Shouts at You about Video Games and Other Bulls***:

No. I'm not reviewing a board game here.

I will never review a board game here.

What are you going to do about it?

Super Mario World

ALRIGHT FINE THEN.

You piece of sh-

[MaestroUGC]

Monopoly
The Root of All Evil

Besides Taxes

Alright, so what's going on here? Where's the TV?

No TV? Oh! Is this on the Oculus Rift? That thing looks so cool?

No?

A... board game?



Shit.

Alright, so Monopoly is a game older than time itself, which is impossible to actually be. That's how old it is.

The goal of this "game" is to bankrupt all of your friends and send them into a severe depression and fits of anger along the way. Wait, really? Awesome!

You roll dice, move around, buy sh*t, sell sh*t, and pay taxes! F*** yeah!

Buy enough of the same color and your property values increase and you can build a house on this apparently vacant spot of land that you've been forcing people to pay for standing on.

'K.

Buy enough stuff and you win. There, you happy? Can I go back to barely reviewing real games now?

Hello?




Where the f*** did you go?!?!?

[MaestroUGC]

Super Mario 3D World
Look, something modern!

So the Wii U came in 2012 and it has had some trouble getting its feet off of the ground. However over the course of 2013 it has seen a series of releases that has finally given it a library worthy of a Nintendo system. And I think I can safely say that this all culminated with the final big release of the year.

Super Mario 3D World

Normally I use this space to berate and generally spew nonsense vaguely related to the game in question. And while that is fun I feel it belies my own real feelings about those games (most of the time) and so I am going to share my thoughts about the latest Super Mario game in earnest.

This is, hands down, the best game I've played all year. 2013 has been a rather slow year for gaming, with not much of interest coming out for either Microsoft and Sony, and Nintendo has been struggling to build steam, 3DS aside. The year 2014 has all major parties with new consoles and great promises, but we'll see how things go.

The Game:
Being a Mario game there's not much to expect from it, but that's a good thing. Nintendo has a working and winning formula here so all they need to do is keep the franchise fresh. And boy, did they ever liven things up.

Gameplay: The game control how a Mario game should. The controls are tight and lacking for nothing and the power-ups feature the classics we all know and love as well as some new additions. Such additions are the new cat suit, which has been heavily featured throughout the game, and the double cherry, which adds a copy of the player's character whenever you pick up the fruit.

When I first saw the cat suit, I honestly thought it was the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen in a Mario game, and that's saying something. However, after seeing it in action and playing with it myself, I think it is one of the most original ideas seen in a Mario game in a long time of the most original ideas seen in a Mario game in a long time. It really opens up a new dimension to exploring the levels and looks absolutely adorable. The double cherry brings a new bit of complexity to the tried and true formula, and really doubles your fun.

I'm sorry about that.

Harking back to the days of the Nintendo Entertainment System, Miyamoto pulls a page from Super Mario Bros. 2 and allows you to choose between Mario, Luigi, Peach, and Toad for this adventure. But that's not all! Order now and you can play with your friends! They can choose from any of the other playable characters to join you in your adventure. Co-op in a Mario game that doesn't make you want to hurt your friends? Alright by me.

Story: Princess Peach gets kidnapped and, wait no she doesn't. Nope this time there are this little fairies (which will now be referred to as the Fairy Plumber Sisters) that Bowser kidnaps to steal their power, or something. Ok so the plot isn't that different, but it isn't Peach this time so A+ Nintendo. Plus the Super Fairy Plumber Sisters are f****** adorable. Seriously, they make you feel all giddy every time you save one of them. Plus together they make a RAINBOW!

Those are fun.

Atmosphere: Does the game look like a Mario game? Yes. The Mario games have a distinct look about them ,and while certain games change the locale from time to time they always feel part of the same universe. 3D World feels right at home with me, plus the music features heavy doses of swing which is A-Okay by me. It's important to have the right music and backdrop when you're stompin' goombas, and this game has it in spades.

Multiplayer: Top notch and lacking for nothing. I played this with my friends and they all have various Mario skillz, and each character offered something for each of them. Mario is the standard for those who want a typical platforming experience; Peach is Baby-Mode for those who don't know how to Mary-o; Toad is perfect for the speedy-types; and Luigi is Hard-Mode with his floaty controls but clearly superior jumping abilities. Year of Luigi indeed.

Having all four at once works really well, and unlike the New Super Mario Bros. games, there's no infighting but real and honest co-operation throughout. They finally got Co-op in a Mario game right.

Complaints: No online multiplayer. I mean really Nintendo? It's bad enough that the Wii U has been struggling but here you have one of the biggest games of the year and one of its major selling points in co-op and you don't put it online? Alright, so the game works best when everybody is working together and people don't wander off ahead of the group, but surely there's a way to do that online. Even then, why not make an option to have people race to the end, a test of skill? This has to be my biggest complaint against Nintendo is general these days, they have yet to truly understand the big deal of online play in their titles. Games like Zelda and Metroid don't need it and that's fine, but if there's any bit of multiplayer in a game these days then make it available online! Give people a reason to buy the Wii U, let them play Mario with thousands of people in an instant.

That is probably the only detriment to this game which is a shame because it is so wonderful and damn near perfect in every other respect. If Nintendo can keep this up then 2014 is going to be a good year for them. Mario Kart is on the way, Smash 4 is looking promising and something Zelda has been teased. Throw in some Metroid or Star Fox (how about both?) and Nintendo can take its competitors by storm.

Final Thoughts:
It's hard for me to put into words how perfect of an experience this is for a Mario game. While I love the NSMB series and enjoy them thoroughly, I've been wanting another game like Super Mario 64 for a long time now. This game comes damn near close. And while it may not be the Mario game I wanted, it is definitely a masterpiece and shows Nintendo hasn't lost their touch. Having grown up on Mario games, and with the franchise being my all-time favorite, this is every bit what a Mario game should be.

Final Score:
9.8/10

Get a Wii U and buy this game. Then buy another Wii U and another copy of this game for a friend.

[Dude]

Yeah, if you wanna be more like maestro just mess up the names, add an excessive amount of curse words and separate every line with a return.

Welp. So much for that plan.

[SlowPokemon]

Wow Maestro, this is my favorite review by you and I totally agree (though in my opinion this game wasn't nearly as good as the Super Mario Galaxy series). You should try serious reviews more often, they're very enjoyable to read.