Maestro Plays Games Too!!!!!

[SlowPokemon]

ilu maestro

[blueflower999]

Now do a review of Superman 64!!!!

[MaestroUGC]

Oh absolutely.

[SlowPokemon]

New drinking game: take a shot every time Maestro says "Oh absolutely."

[TheZeldaPianist275]

New drinking game: take a shot every time Maestro says "Oh absolutely."

You've jinxed us.  Now he's seriously not going to stop.

[blueflower999]

Oh absolutely

[MaestroUGC]

BattleTanx
War for Children of All Ages!

This little gem of a game was designed by 3DO, you know, after the whole 3DO thing, for the Nintendo 69. Notable for not having 69 jammed in the title somewhere. +2 points. So, what's the story?

It's the year 1999, so it's set in the future, obviously. There's a plague that kills all women, except for, like, 10, in the whole world. Yeah, it's already off to a great start. You play as some guy named Griffin, whose girlfriend was taken by the Gov'ment for having a vagina. So he goes off to save her from Big Brother. How?

Tanks!

He plows his way across the US, from New York to San Francisco, to get laid, finding some friends along the way.

There are three tanks:
Mototank: Small, fast, hits for very little, and can be crushed. Most fun.
M1A1 Abrams: Medium, moderate, hits for average, and is the starter tank. The Mario of the game.
Goliath: Big, slow, hits for a lot, and can crush the Mototank. Use only if you're a baby who can't video game.

But, there's much more to this game. There are Items! They range from health packs, ammo refills to secondary weapons:

Missles: Fires 3 missles at once. You can have them curve to the left or right.
Guided Missles: One missle to you can pilot to a target. Leaves the tank uncontrolled and unarmed while in the air.
Laser: A Laser
Mines: Mines
Radar: Negates cloaking, gives you a radar screen.
Grenade: Grenade!
Cloak: Cloaks you, hides you from radar screen
Gun Buddies: Shooting gun box.
Nuke: The "Fuck It" Button.

Rated T, for Kids. Bring the whole family along! It's never to early to learn how to enjoy blowing shit up!

Score: Nuke Deployed

[Yugi]

BOOM

[blueflower999]

HEADSHOT

[Nebbles]

"Laser: A Laser" Couldn't have said it better myself.

[MaestroUGC]

I forgot something absolutely crucial to the stray of the game.

You can also get a Sheild power-up: It's a shield.

[MaestroUGC]

Mrs. Pikmin
The Search for More Money

Olimar is at his April Tricks again!!!

Last time on Pikmin:

Flamstertenfth.

This time, Olimar returns to find that his incompetent boss lost his paycheck! So he decides to take the new guy back to that hell hole he just escaped from. Oh, and you know that ship he spent so much time rebuilding? His boss sold it to cover his gambling debts.

The fat bastard.

So Olimar and and and...Dumpy set off to collect a bunch of useless shit to sell at a garage sale. They find the yellow, blue, and red pikmans. Then they find the metal detecting whites and game-breaking purples.

No time limit means no challenge. It also means no challenge.

So when you finally decide you have enough money, Olimar decides to take it all for himself and leaves Dingbat to die. But his boss was all "Fuck that shit, let's get more money!" and they go back to comb the planet dry. They eventually find Waldork who appears to be the final boss.

What a dick.

So they kill him and take all his treasure.

It also means no challenge.

Score: All the purples.

[blueflower999]

A++++++

[FSM-Reapr]

A+++++++++

ftfy

[Olimar12345]

Oh, and you know that ship he spent so much time rebuilding? His boss sold it to cover his gambling debts.

The fat bastard.

My feelings to a T!