Sebastian's Arrangement Library

[Sebastian]

- The balance of the arrangement is pretty much a mess (If I am allowed to be harsh).
Try to listen to it, with a neutral mind. Is that really musically good?
What I am mainly referring to is how you start out the piece with a "bass-on-the-1-and-chord-on-2-&-3"-thing, right? BUT that immediately ends when you get to the main melody part, in where there's almost nothing interesting happening. I have not heard the original, so I MIGHT be an idiot here, but wouldn't it be better to keep up that same pattern in the left hand? It wouldn't be too difficult playing-wise, so I don't see why not. You are doing it in the late parts of the song.

I didnt keep up that pattern because it just wouldnt work with the bass notes. I copied it from the song EXACTLY.
Heres the original: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IQ7-6rQPzkw


and I dont understand what is wrong with the accidentals

[Sebastian]

Do you think you could tell me whats wrong with it exactly, measure by measure?
I would be really grateful

[Jompa]

Weeeelll, I am just about to go to sleep, so I can't do it right now, but maybe tomorrow.
But really, you haven't even tried for yourself. I think you should do so first.

Put yourself in the shoes of the performer - there's a lot here that is hard to read. You have parenthesized some, but there are more places in need of this!
I suggest you look at chords n stuff for this (to fix up enharmonic stuff), because somehow that is the bigger problem with your accidentals.

[blueflower999]

I don't arrange and therefore I'm a terrible person for being on this, so I might as well be partially useful!!!

Your arrangement for Fort Francis sounds great. I loved that part of the game because of how nerdy Francis is. Kind of reminds me of myself. 

[Sebastian]

Just forget what I said about NSM only being for arranging. I really put my foot in my mouth bad.
And Thank You

[mikey]

I would look it over if you weren't 9001 times better than me at arranging

[FireArrow]

I didnt keep up that pattern because it just wouldnt work with the bass notes. I copied it from the song EXACTLY.

Lol this is SPM, do you really think theirs only two voices?  The "waltzy" base is there throughout the song, it just gets quieter sometimes.

[Sebastian]

I know

I just like it this way because its not to hard to play and so it doesnt mesh with the melody

[FireArrow]

In which case you should keep the actual base, it's more important (albeit, quieter.) If you want this submitted to the site however, your going to need to add every voice humanly possible to play (maybe NSM should look into simplified sheets to go along with songs like this?)

[Sebastian]

Ok
I guess Ill talk to Olimar about it on Live Feedback

[FireArrow]

He'll say the same thing, regarding the base clef. Main Melody > Base > counter melodies - I learned that from him.

[FierceDeity]

Ahem...bass*
This is music, not chemistry

[FireArrow]

That's the last time I'm spelling it wrong, it is now known as "base." >_>

[FierceDeity]

Oh, I guess I should probably look at the arrangement, rather than just being that asshole who comes in and corrects people's spelling, huh?

As for the "waltzy" thing, I would argue that it could work without even taking away from your current LH in the first page. You don't have to include every voice from that figure for it to remain present. However, I was actually thinking that this piece might be a lot more interesting if you were to include the inner part that's just constant eighth notes, and merely accented it on beats 2 and 3 (and possibly include some of the chord) to imply the waltz. What I like so much about the original is that it mixes such a traditional style (waltz) with this digital, electronic feeling. While a lot of that might come from orchestration, you can achieve a significant amount of it on piano by making use of that underlying, mechanical, syncopated eighth note arpeggio idea. In fact, it's important when you consider the form of the piece, as well, as that's where the melody in measure 21 comes from. It's likely possible (I'd have to arrange it myself to know for sure) to do this incorporating both hands, making it possible both range-wise and "not clashing with other parts"-wise.
Whatever you decide to do with that, make sure that if you're introducing something that, in the original, is constant throughout the entire piece, try to keep it as constant as possible. I'm all for it not being too hard to play, but there are points in this piece where just a two-voice counterpoint is rather awkward (I'm looking at you, measure 15).

Speaking of the melody in measure 21, though, I've got an accuracy bone to pick with you, haha. I'm not quite sure why you bring the downbeats of 2, 3, and 4 down an octave, considering it doesn't really affect playability, and it's not that way in the original. It's especially weird, because you alter the melody so that on downbeats 2 and 3, it's exactly one octave above the bass. Not only is this not how it is in the original (in measure 21, beat 2 should be up an octave, beat 3 should be a G and also up an octave, beat 4 should be an A and, again, up an octave), but it also makes the downbeats of the melody disappear, in a way.

Oh, and as for accidentals, I'm too lazy to look into the enharmonic issues here, but make sure you provide courtesy accidentals where they're called for.

All in all, though, good arrangement; you've been improving pretty constantly, haha.

[Sebastian]

Great!

It gonna be hard to add that waltzy part to the bass...

Speaking of the melody in measure 21, though, I've got an accuracy bone to pick with you, haha. I'm not quite sure why you bring the downbeats of 2, 3, and 4 down an octave, considering it doesn't really affect playability, and it's not that way in the original. It's especially weird, because you alter the melody so that on downbeats 2 and 3, it's exactly one octave above the bass. Not only is this not how it is in the original (in measure 21, beat 2 should be up an octave, beat 3 should be a G and also up an octave, beat 4 should be an A and, again, up an octave), but it also makes the downbeats of the melody disappear, in a way.

Are you talking about the right hand? Because the right hand isnt the melody. I was also having trouble hearing the notes for the right hand at that part.