Ironic Wish Granting The Sequel

[Maelstrom]

Granted. You said nothing about it being free, or even cheap.

I wish I could find the key I just lost

[Sebastian]

Granted. It is the key to the cop's car. YOUR GOING TO JAIL.

I wish I had a million dollars.

[Maelstrom]

Granted. You get it in pennies.

Btw, Sebastian, it's a key to the shed I need to get into to work.

I wish the lawn would mow itself.

[cashwarrior1]

Granted, but it doesn't know when to stop and creates a hole to the center of the universe.

I wish my clothes in the dryer would be done.

[Sir Dino]

granted, but all the clothes shrank.

i wish to pass this english class.

[FireArrow]

Granted, the teacher now lowers the requirement for "passing" down to a 50%.

I wish I could resist looking at sun/moon spoilers.

[cashwarrior1]

Granted, now you're looking at other spoilers.

I wish someone else will do my wish for me.

[WaluigiTime64]

Granted, your wish is now "I wish to spontaneously combust.". Granted.

I wish I could focus more on my studies.

[mikey]

("Spontaneous combustion is a myth. If you burst into flame, someone wanted you to.")

[WaluigiTime64]

"Spontaneous Combustion"
 - The ignition of organic matter (e.g. hay or coal) without apparent cause, typically through heat generated internally by rapid oxidation.

"Someone wanted you to" is a great thought though.

[mikey]

http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=234075

[cashwarrior1]

I wish I could focus more on my studies.

Not granted, you will focus all your time on NinSheetMusic!

I wish it was yesterday!

[daj]

Not granted, you will focus all your time on NinSheetMusic!

I wish it was yesterday!

Granted! ^^

...but the old guy from the End of Time sends you to 1999 AD. Because you know, time shouldn't be messed with. Lavos isn't happy. You die possibly the worst death in the entire world.

I wish everyone was an awesome person!

[FireArrow]

awe·some
ˈôsəm/
adjective
adjective: awesome

    extremely impressive or daunting; inspiring great admiration, apprehension, or fear.

Granted, thought the majority take the daunting inspire fear route.

I wish I didn't have to wear glasses or contacts.

[WaluigiTime64]

Not granted, you will focus all your time on NinSheetMusic!

I already do. It's a real problem.