Ironic Wish Granting The Sequel

[Zunawe]

It's discovered that cancer is actually the real life form of Pokérus, but is only beneficial to people who play Pokémon. Your musicalness stat increases by 9001 from all your musicalness EVs, and your friend's helpfulness (I don't know) stat increases by the same amount.

I wish life wasn't so annoying sometimes.

[Yugi]

Granted, Now Life is annoying all the time.

I wish that Sabin doesn't lose in the first round of the torunament.

[Kman96]

Granted, Now Life is annoying all the time.

I wish that Sabin doesn't lose in the first round of the torunament.

Granted, he is disqualified before the tournament begins.

I wish I could meet the love of my life.

[FSM-Reapr]

Granted, but now she hates you.

I wish I would beat cancer.

[Yugi]

Granted, now you have diabetes.

I wish that shouty ads didn't exist.

[Kman96]

Granted, but now she hates you.

Eh, shit happens.

[Yugi]

I wish that shouty ads didn't exist.

[BlackDragonSlayer]

I wish that shouty ads didn't exist.

Granted; now, all ads assault your full screen for minutes at a time. No adblock.

I wish to be able to see all the way around the earth.

[Zunawe]

Granted. Now the only thing you will ever see is the back of your own head.

I wish I wouldn't be so cold all the time.

[Yugi]

Granted, you burn to death as the Sun is right next to you.

I wish I could use the Phantom Rush

[BlackDragonSlayer]

Granted, you burn to death as the Sun is right next to you.

I wish I could use the Phantom Rush

Granted; you are now trapped in a single video game, doomed to "exist" only when a player turns the game on.

I wish to be able to look around with my super-vision.

[Toby]

Granted, but your vision is x-ray vision and you've been locked in a room full of men.

I wish for a bow and arrow.

[BlackDragonSlayer]

Granted, but your vision is x-ray vision and you've been locked in a room full of men.

I wish for a bow and arrow.

I wish to be able to see all the way around the earth.

Granted. Now the only thing you will ever see is the back of your own head.

... Ok then...

[Zunawe]

Granted, but your vision is x-ray vision and you've been locked in a room full of men.

I wish for a bow and arrow.

Granted, you shoot yourself in the knee.

I wish for a genie that doesn't grant wishes ironically.

@BDS Because if you see all the way around the earth all the time if you look directly in front of you, you'll never see anything but yourself.

[Waddle Bro]

I'm your genie. And oops, that was your last wish.

I wish I could buy Minecraft.