Relationships

[daj]

Open and honest communication is key, don't just try to figure out if she's into you like a high schooler would. That's just dumb. Make a move or tell her how you feel or ask her how she feels like a grown-up.

Exactly the reply I needed, haha, thank you so much

Yeah! ^^ I'm not going to just stand about and play the whole "guess who has a crush on who" thing. I'm going to do something.

Emotions are irrational things I suppose, ahaha. Thanks for the wake up call ^^

[LeviR.star]

Open and honest communication is key, don't just try to figure out if she's into you like a high schooler would. That's just dumb. Make a move or tell her how you feel or ask her how she feels like a grown-up.

That's some good feedback, Slow.

[SlowPokemon]

Looking back an hour later it was clear I hadn't had my coffee yet but even if it was harsh my basic opinion remains the same

Good luck!

[mikey]

Emotions are irrational things

qft

[daj]

Looking back an hour later it was clear I hadn't had my coffee yet but even if it was harsh my basic opinion remains the same

Good luck!

Was considering giving you an equally harsh retort for about a split-second haha, but hey, you can't deny good criticism when it goes down. So once again, thank you ^^

plus i've done music performance for long enough haha criticism is normal by this point

[mikey]

Aight so I've got this friend see and his dad died of cancer a while back
Obviously I have no clue how he feels about it but when I visited him in Minnesota we went to church together and I can tell that it's affecting him somehow

If your dad had died of cancer what would you want out of your friends
Like I haven't said anything like hey if you wanna talk I've got two ears I just kinda hang out with him like normally

Cause I also just hate being that fake person who pretends to be invested in another person's well being and is all nosy about it so I just wanna get some idea where the balance is

[Dudeman]

Speaking as someone who also has a (new) close friend who lost their father a couple of years ago: treat him normally, but be sensitive. Be willing to be a listening ear if he needs one, but don't go out of your way to bring up the subject. In all likelihood, he wants to live his life without constantly having to think about it. Be a pleasant distraction, but not an oblivious one.

[LeviR.star]

I have recently developed feelings for a senior girl at my school. I should list a few things:

Now, before I begin, I should apologize for being so stubborn and passive-aggressive on this site. I am ashamed of the reputation I've set for myself here. I very, very rarely act the same way in real life, as my Christian parents were and still are very strict on enforcing moral values on my siblings and I. Frequently have I been referred to by adults and my classmates as "a sweetheart", "good guy", and "the nicest kid on the planet".

The List

- when my school marching band was on its Florida trip, one of my friends, who was walking around in my group, told me that this senior girl, named Hallee, (pronounced "Hah-lee") had told him she thought I was cute. Now, there seems to be a number of definitions for this term, but I was surprised and happy to hear this
- during that same trip, our whole band spent a couple hours at the hotel's pool. After the session, the guys in my room and the surrounding room had noted that this student named Joe, (who is as old as me,) had been checking Hallee out at the pool
- one day during the summer, while volunteer working with my drama director, I overheard that Hallee had been dating Joe ever since the Disney trip ended.
- during Choir another day, into the school year, we were singing "Battle Hymn of the Republic", and the trouble-making singers in the back of my section started this little dance they knew annoyed our Choir director. Pretty soon, everyone in the Bass section joined in, excluding myself, and our teacher, half-annoyed and half-somewhat amused, stopped everyone to tell them to quit dancing. She did, however, note that I was the only one not dancing, and said that, "Levi is one of the good ones. You wouldn't burst into dancing like they did, would you?" All eyes on me, I grinned, replied with "I hope not", and swiftly did one of the dance moves. Everyone, including our director, burst into laughter, and I could tell that Hallee was giggling, too
- the next day, at a football game, our marching band halftime show was cancelled due to rain, and we were given rags to dry out our instruments. Jokingly, I gave my friend, Charlie, a rag, twisted up, saying, "Your weapon, sir" in my best Alfred Pennyworth voice. However, he took this seriously, and started whipping it towards several freshmen boys. When Charlie told some of the upperclassmen girls that I had given him the rag, they dismissed him as kidding. Hallee then turned and told me, "Levi, you're one of the good ones!" as my choir director had said to me the previous day. My voice cracking, I said, "Really?", and she smiled.

[close]

More recently, I worked up the guts to ask her to homecoming last week. First, I asked Catherine, her friend, if Hallee was dating anyone, or if she had a homecoming date. Catherine said no to both questions, and then asked, "Do you like her? Are you asking her to homecoming?" I said yes and she got all giggly. She told me it was the sweetest thing she had ever heard. All day, I was super-nervous, and during Drama practice, I was feeling light-headed. As we were let out, I caught up to Hallee and asked her, with some hesitation, if she'd go to homecoming with me. She looked surprised, glanced backwards over her shoulder and said she would have loved to, but she had already agreed to go with some friends. She then smiled and said, "But thank you!" I smiled, thanked her back and set out for the parking lot, slightly disappointed but immensely relieved that it was over. The next morning, Catherine, still giggly, came up to me and said she wanted to be there when I asked Hallee to the dance. I broke the news that she had already said no, and she looked sad.

Part II

A few days later, everything was back to normal until I realized I was becoming nervous every time I encountered Hallee. Just the usual: my voice cracks, I stutter, and my head grows red and sweaty. I even got nervous driving to school, thinking about whenever I'd come face to face with her. Last Saturday, while our Marching Band had been at an all-day competition, I walked around with my good friends Sam and Molly, a senior couple that had been dating for an impressive 3 years. I began by saying I had a problem, and Molly immediately asked if it was about Hallee. Dumbfounded, I asked her how they knew, and she said, "I had heard it from Jenna, who heard it from Catherine," (Note that, before I made her promise, Catherine swore to me not to tell anyone.) That's when Molly and Sam told me that the main reason Hallee said no was probably because her ex-boyfriend, Joe, had brutally dumped her the day before school started, saying that he "wanted to focus on football". Hallee has apparently been heartbroken ever since. Molly then asked me if that made me feel better, knowing that she would have said yes had Joe not been involved, and I said that it made me feel worse. If there's one thing I didn't want to hear, it's that Hallee had been feeling heartbroken for so long. We then launched into a discussion about relationships. Sam had been very nervous 3 years prior when he asked Molly out, but she had been flattered by it. They noted that it makes girls feel good to see that guys have a bit confidence, but also to see that they make guys feel skittish when in their presence.

According to them, Hallee may not know that I like her, but now the news may be spreading. I don't want to come off as a creep; no one has ever seen me that way in real life. I'd like to find a little more confidence in talking to her before the news reaches back to her; just today, I went to my drama director's office to pick up my Fiddler on the Roof Set Construction Head crew notebook, but before I entered the door, I noticed Hallee, the Costumes head, was talking to the director, Mr. Untiet. My arms stacked high with binders and textbooks, I quickly backpedaled before either of them could notice me.

Speaking of Fiddler, I had hoped to get Motel's role and Hallee to get Tzeitel; my wish only came half-true, as she still got Tzeitel and I got a minor role. I know relationships don't come out of acting roles, but still, I was a little jealous.

[close]

There's got to be something I can do before I run out of time. I can wait for Hallee to get over Joe, but I can't control how quickly the news Catherine spread reaches her. Will she be flattered again, or dismiss me as heartless? What do I do?

[mikey]

In this scenario I think it would be wise to ask the magic chonch shell

[LeviR.star]

In this scenario I think it would be wise to ask the magic chonch shell

I love Spongebob references, Noc, but this is a bit more serious than that.

[mikey]

Do nothing

[Maelstrom]

In this scenario I think it would be wise to ask the magic chonch shell

I think you mean the almighty helix fossil

[BlackDragonSlayer]

seriously though

It seems like you're taking the right actions thus far (at least, what could be expected of any normal person), but it also seems like maybe she's uncertain about things and either wants some time to be to herself or otherwise think things through. It doesn't seem like a bad thing to wait, and maybe try again later. Maybe she'll say yes, maybe she'll say no. From there, it's all up in the air.

[Dudeman]

A L L   H A I L   D O M E

I think the best thing to do in this situation is to remain a kind person and a good friend to Hallee even if she isn't looking for anything in the way of a relationship right now. If "news" reaches her that you have a massive crush on her (and you have a classic case of high school crush going on, buddy), I have no reason to believe that she'll find that "heartless." You couldn't have known about her situation with her ex and you're not going after this with exploitative or selfish intentions. She knows you're a good kid. Now, I'm not the kind to actively encourage high school dating (it's usually started by raging hormones, doesn't end well, and commonly creates ridiculous drama that quickly gets out of hand), but I wouldn't discourage you from being a selfless, thoughtful person to her (and anyone else for that matter).
Hope that helps, sometimes I start writing these things with a vague point and end up just going stream-of-consciousness and not really concluding adequately.

ninja'd, BDS is right too.

[LeviR.star]

seriously though

It seems like you're taking the right actions thus far (at least, what could be expected of any normal person), but it also seems like maybe she's uncertain about things and either wants some time to be to herself or otherwise think things through. It doesn't seem like a bad thing to wait, and maybe try again later. Maybe she'll say yes, maybe she'll say no. From there, it's all up in the air.

A L L   H A I L   D O M E

I think the best thing to do in this situation is to remain a kind person and a good friend to Hallee even if she isn't looking for anything in the way of a relationship right now. If "news" reaches her that you have a massive crush on her (and you have a classic case of high school crush going on, buddy), I have no reason to believe that she'll find that "heartless." You couldn't have known about her situation with her ex and you're not going after this with exploitative or selfish intentions. She knows you're a good kid. Now, I'm not the kind to actively encourage high school dating (it's usually started by raging hormones, doesn't end well, and commonly creates ridiculous drama that quickly gets out of hand), but I wouldn't discourage you from being a selfless, thoughtful person to her (and anyone else for that matter).
Hope that helps, sometimes I start writing these things with a vague point and end up just going stream-of-consciousness and not really concluding adequately.

ninja'd, BDS is right too.

This helps a lot; I appreciate the advice. You guys are the best!