Relationships

[LeviR.star]

wtf happened to this place? I was only gone for a day or two

Sorry, Spartan; I started it. Alti got a little upset.

[Dude]

I mean when you try to give bad relationship advice when you have like 0 experience, I'm sure anyone would be upset.

[Altissimo]

and also when your advice says really, really bad things about your outlook on women, of which I am one
but yep, it's all my fault for "getting upset". Got it

[AmpharosAndy]

What are you expecting, though? Unless you put an age or experience restriction on the thread then you're going to have people who don't know stuff. Don't chastise them for trying to help.

I like to say: you're always the expert on relationships until you're single again.

I am not the expert XD

[WaluigiTime64]

This thread seems to have more arguments on it than any other thread. :V

[Dude]

these damn kids today are just too thirsty

[AmpharosAndy]

This thread seems to have more arguments on it than any other thread. :V

Because feeeelings hehe

[SpartanChief17]

This thread seems to have more arguments on it than any other thread. :V

Well, love and relationships are purely subjective.  They are made of peoples personal experiences and feelings, so no two situations are the same.  So why argue about it, if there is no solid answer? No advice can help for all situations, though it can help you be familiar with similar situations so that you can have an idea on how to go through these situations.

Basically:
There is no point in arguing about something that is different for everyone, and not everyone is going to see stuff your way

I am using "you" and "your" in the same manner I would use "y'all" or "all y'all", so I am not targeting anybody.

[ThatHiddenCharacter]

Basically:
There is no point in arguing about something that is different for everyone, and not everyone is going to see stuff your way

I vote we remove Alti from the position of Relationship Guru and give it to Spartan. A great example of what he said is how Alti said women like to be treated. 95% of the time what she said is true, but then there's instances like the one with one of my friends. She's dating a guy who cheated on her, lied to her, ignored her, said he still had feelings for his ex, and even said he didn't want to "really" be part of a relationship because he "always gets hurt". I think she may have finally come to her senses and dumped him, but for all I know, they could still be together. And that's not just a teenage thing for all of you who say "you're too young to have any experience". That kind of thing is unusually common. I have heard of plenty of adults, from many age ranges, that have been in similar situations.

[Altissimo]

I vote we remove Alti from the position of Relationship Guru and give it to Spartan. A great example of what he said is how Alti said women like to be treated. 95% of the time what she said is true

so what am I supposed to say? "yeah most women don't want to be treated like shit. Except for when they do"? Like what the fuck is this supposed to mean?

Yes of course everyone is going to respond to different things differently and of course what works for some might not work for others but considering that, as you said, 95% of women want to be treated a certain way means it's probably a good idea to treat any woman you might meet a certain way.

I literally don't understand your post here. Because I'm not accounting for literally every situation under the sun, apparently I'm wrong entirely? I was correcting unhealthy misconceptions on the part of people who don't understand how their views are harmful to women.

I'm not offended that you "want to remove the relationship guru title from me" (whatever that actually implies, because it was never official to begin with; it was a couple people's acknowledgement than my advice was good advice), that's not why I'm posting, it's just that I think you're way off base in your interpretation of my posts in this thread.

Edit:

She's dating a guy who cheated on her, lied to her, ignored her, said he still had feelings for his ex, and even said he didn't want to "really" be part of a relationship because he "always gets hurt". I think she may have finally come to her senses and dumped him, but for all I know, they could still be together.

This does not mean the girl wants to be treated like shit. In fact, this actually seems like extreme emotional abuse on the part of the man. Emotional abuse works in such a way that the victim feels as if they will lose everything if they break up with the abuser, no matter how much the abuser treats them like shit. I know this because it happened to me and it wasn't like I wanted to be treated like shit. So this isn't even a situation that "contradicts" anything that I've said before.

[Dude]

these damn kids today are just too thirsty

thirsty and stupid

[SpartanChief17]

She's dating a guy who cheated on her, lied to her, ignored her, said he still had feelings for his ex, and even said he didn't want to "really" be part of a relationship because he "always gets hurt". I think she may have finally come to her senses and dumped him, but for all I know, they could still be together. And that's not just a teenage thing for all of you who say "you're too young to have any experience". That kind of thing is unusually common. I have heard of plenty of adults, from many age ranges, that have been in similar situations.

Personally I think (this is going to be subjective; an opinion) that you don't like or date a person just for their looks or money or if they infatuate you (that is how you get manipulated and exploited).  I personally think that it is better to find one who has similar interests or (at least in my case) values and boundaries.  I usually try to find someone (again, this is just me, idk about u guys) more...conservative. Christian. Friendly. Basically someone who you would regard as a "good person".  Someone who cares. (Again, this is just my personal opinion.  You can agree or disagree.  You don't even have to notice this. I'm just throwing this out there and hoping I'm helpful["you" is used as being plural again])

Yes of course everyone is going to respond to different things differently and of course what works for some might not work for others but considering that, as you said, 95% of women want to be treated a certain way means it's probably a good idea to treat any woman you might meet a certain way.

I literally don't understand your post here. Because I'm not accounting for literally every situation under the sun, apparently I'm wrong entirely? I was correcting unhealthy misconceptions on the part of people who don't understand how their views are harmful to women.

I'm not offended that you "want to remove the relationship guru title from me" (whatever that actually implies, because it was never official to begin with; it was a couple people's acknowledgement than my advice was good advice), that's not why I'm posting, it's just that I think you're way off base in your interpretation of my posts in this thread.

Don't worry, I'm not trying to replace you, lol.

Plus, you do have good advice.  It actually made me rethink how I act when my crush is around.

Also, I understand  that you were trying to clear the air on the definition of "friendzone", which can also be very subjective.  It's all cool.

Spoiler

Here is the Google definition of "friendzone", although idk if I 100% agree with it:

    a situation in which a friendship exists between two people, one of whom has an unreciprocated romantic or sexual interest in the other.
    "I always wind up in the friend zone, watching them pursue other guys"

[close]

[Dudeman]

Guys, I think it's apparent that no headway is going to be made any time soon. I think Altissimo has the experience to back up her advice, and I think those of us on the younger side (you know who you are) are trying to argue outside of their realm of expertise in order to justify their feelings. Things are likely to get really ugly if this discussion doesn't stop soon. I'd advise settling your differences elsewhere.

[Altissimo]

Personally I think (this is going to be subjective; an opinion) that you don't like or date a person just for their looks or money or if they infatuate you (that is how you get manipulated and exploited).  I personally think that it is better to find one who has similar interests or (at least in my case) values and boundaries.  I usually try to find someone (again, this is just me, idk about u guys) more...conservative. Christian. Friendly. Basically someone who you would regard as a "good person".  Someone who cares. (Again, this is just my personal opinion.  You can agree or disagree.  You don't even have to notice this. I'm just throwing this out there and hoping I'm helpful["you" is used as being plural again])

The problem is that some people can appear to be a good person on the outside but once you get to know them be manipulative and abusive. I mean, that's part of how abusers work. They have to pull you in somehow and that's usually through some sort of charm or personality charisma. Relationships can go south even when they are based on personality rather than "superficial" qualities because some people are good at pretending.

Guys, I think it's apparent that no headway is going to be made any time soon. I think Altissimo has the experience to back up her advice, and I think those of us on the younger side (you know who you are) are trying to argue outside of their realm of expertise in order to justify their feelings. Things are likely to get really ugly if this discussion doesn't stop soon. I'd advise settling your differences elsewhere.

Yeah, you're right. I'm sorry, I'm just sick and tired of seeing all these horrifically bad statements about women being made in my presence and feel the need to correct them.

[Dude]

Shut up children, the adults are talking.

tl;dr; version