Relationships

[Splatoon Inkling]

I changed the names to [name] , yah I do see your point, most relationships actually do start off as really good friendships. My mom said that that's how her, and my dad went about it before they started dating.

[Bobbythekid21]

Also, while I won't dictate anyone's choices, I will say that I advise against high school dating unless you're already extremely close to someone. An overwhelming majority of high school relationships crumble apart quickly because they're based mostly on feelings and urges rather than appreciation for a person's talents and personality. I do, however, highly advocate making good friends with people of the opposite sex, even if those friendships don't go anywhere past friendship. I'm 21 now and in an extremely healthy relationship, and it disappoints me a little how often I see people coupling up without really knowing each other.
TL;DR, be smart, make friends, don't make a long-term relationship the focus of your interactions with someone.

I agree 333,331%. People (especially people around my age) don't seem that understand that love, at first sight, isn't love, its a chemical imbalance that results in infatuation. Once the infatuation stage ends (around 6-9 months into a relationship) the chemical's effect wears off. This is when most relationships end because they start having second thoughts because they think they don't love each other anymore (love is an action, not a feeling) and are forced to think logically about the situation, unlike before. If the couple realizes this and talk it out and stick with it the can have a happy life together, unfortunately, most people are not aware of this or even prefer to remain ignorant. Afterward is the phase where you treat your partner well, regardless of the chemicals in your body (if you didn't already drop out of the relationship at this point). After that is when you would get married and start making longterm changes. Getting a bank account together, having kids, and other stuff. (I may have messed up some of the technical details with the chemicals, but the general idea is still correct.)
Nowadays people get married in the first phase and get a divorce in the second.

[Splatoon Inkling]

That's a prime number!

[Bobbythekid21]

That's a prime number!

However did you figure that out?

[Splatoon Inkling]

Maybe it's In your description, really IDK I'm totally just guessing.

[Sebastian]

I agree 333,331%. People (especially people around my age) don't seem that understand that love, at first sight, isn't love, its a chemical imbalance that results in infatuation. Once the infatuation stage ends (around 6-9 months into a relationship) the chemical's effect wears off. This is when most relationships end because they start having second thoughts because they think they don't love each other anymore (love is an action, not a feeling) and are forced to think logically about the situation, unlike before. If the couple realizes this and talk it out and stick with it the can have a happy life together, unfortunately, most people are not aware of this or even prefer to remain ignorant. Afterward is the phase where you treat your partner well, regardless of the chemicals in your body (if you didn't already drop out of the relationship at this point). After that is when you would get married and start making longterm changes. Getting a bank account together, having kids, and other stuff. (I may have messed up some of the technical details with the chemicals, but the general idea is still correct.)
Nowadays people get married in the first phase and get a divorce in the second.

You make a great point here.

Personally, I find that it's smartest to go in the order of "think, do, feel" as a general rule for all things in life. I find it funny that many people think before they do something, but then when it comes to love/relationships, they wanna do it backwards: feel, do, think. Just something interesting I thought I'd share.

[Bobbythekid21]

You make a great point here.

Personally, I find that it's smartest to go in the order of "think, do, feel" as a general rule for all things in life. I find it funny that many people think before they do something, but then when it comes to love/relationships, they wanna do it backwards: feel, do, think. Just something interesting I thought I'd share.

I agree with you too, I did make a good point... Oh, and about what you said.

[Splatoon Inkling]

very well said.

[cashwarrior1]

Honestly, hearing people talking about how most people go based off of feeling before thinking makes me scared. I'm in a high school relationship right now, and we started dating because she apparently developed a crush on me and although I knew her as a friend, I realized that I didn't know her as a person. So I decided that I will pursue a relationship with her and see if I like her as a person. As of right now (about 4 months in the relationship), I get the feeling that she goes by feel, do, think. I often think extensively before doing anything with anyone ever, and sometimes I start doing an action, but usually I stop to think before going further. I've learned a bit about her (I think, she doesn't talk about what goes on in her mind) and I like being around her, she's fun and interesting to talk to, and I absolutely admire her determination and talents. HOWEVER, since this is my first relationship, I often find myself wanting to rely on feel to receive appreciation from her, and already that caused a little problem when she was stressed out and depressed for a month and I was too focused on the fact that she didn't want to hold hands. I feel like I've been doing better with this since I acknowledged that it had happened and I'm trying more to focus on the things she says. Whenever we have conversations in which information about each other is shared, or if we're just sitting in the same room, working on our own things; that is when I enjoy her the most, not when we're holding hands. I'm scared the relationship isn't going to work out since it started in high school and in 6 months, it'll be a long term relationship.

[Bobbythekid21]

Once the infatuation stage ends (around 6-9 months into a relationship) the chemical's effect wears off. This is when most relationships end because they start having second thoughts because they think they don't love each other anymore (love is an action, not a feeling) and are forced to think logically about the situation, unlike before. If the couple realizes this and talk it out and stick with it the can have a happy life together, unfortunately, most people are not aware of this or even prefer to remain ignorant.

(Can't believe I'm quoting myself.)
'Nuff said.

[cashwarrior1]

Well, I understand that. What I want to know is, in your opinion, does it sound like our relationship is being ran off of this effect or do you feel that with a little more time we'll be good?

[Bobbythekid21]

Well, If you really want MY opinion (which isn't worth much in this case, I assure you), then I think that you realize the order should be "think, do, feel" like Seb said, not the reverse, and your friend is simply ignorant of the facts, you don't need the facts because you already think first. I think that the only way that ANY relationship can last through the post-mortem phase (the second one, where the chemical's effects wear off) is if they are aware of the scientific facts (the ones mentioned in my earlier post) or just believe in working through a relationship rather than abandoning it if they get just a little offended.

[Splatoon Inkling]

Well that girl I was telling you guys about ( actually had a make up day for my home school group on Wednesday due to bad weather, and the teachers one daughter having the flu) but anyway one thing I noticed is that she seems to be interested in me, she keeps looking at me at class every so often for a while, kept trying to make conversation with me, and specifically telling me things, and kept trying to make jokes with me. I didn't give the card to her yet, but I will on monday. She even sat next to me in class.

[Sebastian]

Well, I understand that. What I want to know is, in your opinion, does it sound like our relationship is being ran off of this effect or do you feel that with a little more time we'll be good?

A relationship can be whatever you want it to be. Love is a choice, not just a feeling. Yes, there can be feelings, but remember to base your relationship in valuable things (kindness, compassion, patience, common interests, etc.) and not in just the fuzzy, warm feelings. If you just base the relationship on warm, fuzzy feelings, I don't believe it will last.

[Splatoon Inkling]

A relationship can be whatever you want it to be. Love is a choice, not just a feeling. Yes, there can be feelings, but remember to base your relationship in valuable things (kindness, compassion, patience, common interests, etc.) and not in just the fuzzy, warm feelings. If you just base the relationship on warm, fuzzy feelings, I don't believe it will last.

That is very true, and I have gotten to know her, and she has gotten to know me for a while now, about half a year.