Ironic Wish Granting

[Dudeman]

My ancestry is part Swedish. If I told you my last name, you'd know.

[Bespinben]

Granted, but it's to big to fit in your house! You sleep with it at night, because you love it, but one night a robber comes and steals it. You wake up and go on an adventure to find the theif. You eventualy find the thif and it's Grovyle! He needs the Lugia toy to give to Darkrai so he'll stop messing with time and space. You have a tearful farewell to you Lugia toy, which is followed by Credits. After the credits the Lugia toy returns to you using a little help from Dumbledore and you start your lives as explorers. At the thought of becoming explorers the Lugia Plush toy spontaneoulsy combusts and you die hugging it.

I gotta stop wishing for things - it's only contributing to my ever-increasing insanity, as evidenced by this mad mash-up of Pokemon Mystery Dungeon and Harry Potter XD

I wish I had a theme song, composed by Kojo Kondo

Granted! Problem is, Kojo Kondo is Koji Kondo's tone deaf, hardly self-supporting half-brother. As such, the theme song he composes for you totally sucks, since Kojo is nowhere near as skilled as his far superior (and actually existent) brother Koji.

I wish people would produce more typos in their wishes so that I could be a wish-granting jerk more often XD

[Shadoninja]

granted but now the typos are so bad that you can't even read them.

I wish I could breathe in space.

[Bespinben]

Granted! Using your new-found ability to traverse through space without the need for oxygen, you begin a quest to explore the depths of the universe. Your first destination - THE MOON! However, you get hit by one of NASA's rockets heading there also. GAME OVER.

I wish Nintendo was better at naming their consoles (ex: Wii U - what the heck?)

[Clanker37]

I gotta stop wishing for things - it's only contributing to my ever-increasing insanity, as evidenced by this mad mash-up of Pokemon Mystery Dungeon and Harry Potter XD

Don't worry, that's just my insanity! It's nothing to be worried about!

I wish Nintendo was better at naming their consoles (ex: Wii U - what the heck?)

Granted but they accidently name it after you! The Bespinben is extremely popular. You become famous. While watching a movie dedicated to your life Bowser comes and steals you!(lol what?!) You are kidnapped through 8 worlds and end up in a cage where you are tortured. Bowser is playing the Bespinben but you can't. Luckily Kirby came and saved you. You fall in love with Kirby and get married. But one day Meta Knight is like "OMG KIRBY YOU DIE NOW!" KKirby kills Meta Knight, but is fataly wounded in the process. You drown in your tears

I wish I wasn't insane

[Greg]

You are no longer insane. You hate it.

I wish I was perfect.

[Shadoninja]

you are now perfect. you hate it.

I wish I could sightread piano music.

[Bespinben]

Granted! You are now the world's most talented sightreading pianist. However, all of us on Ninsheetmusic become so jealous and envious of your abilities that we get JaMaHa to ban you from the forums.

I wish my teeth were whiter.

[Ragster2448]

Granted, now whenever you smile at someone, they become blind.

I wish that a million dollars would just appear in my wallet.

[Shadoninja]

granted but then you accidently drop the wallet in an incinerator with all the money inside.


I wish I had a job

[Dudeman]

Granted. Your new job is being a slave.

I wish SOMEONE WOULD COMMENT ON MY ARRANGEMENTS!! (hint, hint)

ummm...will someone grant my wish first before granting Mashi's?!

[Mashi]

*ahem*

I wish that I could obtain the power of absolute apathy, in order to neglect all or any problems and dangers that may be required to face in the means of life, of which I could easily condone or express my indifference towards (Also of which I could express my apathy towards whether this wish is granted), so that I may leave all forms of worry and apprehension, melancholy and abjectness, rage and choleric, content and bliss, among all other emotions of which only what reprobates, or humans, would adore and tribute for.

---

The only flaw in this is that it could only create a paradox with the wish if the wisher were apathetic already, therefore there could never be a "negative wish" in the view of the wisher (Though, I suppose it's debatable whether the wish would be paradoxical in regards to this topic; it was never stated whether the wish had to be ironic towards the wisher in particular, or ironic in general).
But okay.

[Clanker37]

I wish SOMEONE WOULD COMMENT ON MY ARRANGEMENTS!! (hint, hint)

^Mine too! 
Granted, Spambots post regualy on your arrangements

*ahem*

I wish that I could obtain the power of absolute apathy, in order to neglect all or any problems and dangers that may be required to face in the means of life, of which I could easily condone or express my indifference towards (Also of which I could express my apathy towards whether this wish is granted), so that I may leave all forms of worry and apprehension, melancholy and abjectness, rage and choleric, content and bliss, among all other emotions of which only what reprobates, or humans, would adore and tribute for.

---

The only flaw in this is that it could only create a paradox with the wish if the wisher were apathetic already, therefore there could never be a "negative wish" in the view of the wisher (Though, I suppose it's debatable whether the wish would be paradoxical in regards to this topic; it was never stated whether the wish had to be ironic towards the wisher in particular, or ironic in general).
But okay.

Granted, you travel over mountains and over fields to find the being of wishes. When you find Jirachi you wish your wish, but Jirachi is so confused that hes like 'You want a cookie?' and he gives you a cookie. You are infuriated that Jirachi gave you a cookie and begin killing Jirachi with a machine gun that just happened to be there. After killing Jirachi you realise that you felt fury and you are infuriated again by yourself being infuriated. You then shoot yourself since you are so infuriated.

[Bespinben]

^Mine too! 

Granted, but all the comments are unconstructive criticism ranging from "That was a cool song" to "That was a bad arrangement" without any indication of how it was good or bad, without any mentioning of how to improve it or fix its mistakes.

I wish I had a turkey sandwich with fresh lettuce, cheese, tomatos, and onions on whole wheat bread. Try corrupting that wish mwhahaha!

[Dudeman]

Granted. Just as you are about to take a bite, you die of a heart attack.

I wish I had a 3DS.