Ironic Wish Granting

[Ruto]

Granted but it's made of cheese.

I wish I had a turkey sandwich with fresh lettuce, cheese, tomatos, and onions on whole wheat bread. Try corrupting that wish mwhahaha!

Oh that's one's easy xD. You get one, but the turkey's a little dry. (THE SIMPSONS)

I wish my Link plushie doesn't get dirty so fast...

[Bespinben]

DANG IT! No matter how hard I try, there's always some loophole in my wish -_-
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To Dudeman --- Granted! You now have a 3DS and exchange friend codes with me. Everything is going swell, until one day you get a letter from Nintendo saying they have bricked your system due to reports of unauthorized system modifications. You are in disbelief, so you go to check your precious 3DS, only to discover that it is completely dysfunctional, just as Nintendo said. Enraged, with bricked 3DS in hand, you set out on a crusade to find the perpetrator of this terrible lie.

I wish that Dudeman doesn't find out that I hacked Nintendo's 3DS management server to brick his new 3DS that I granted him  (see above).

EDIT: Hahahahha someone caught my Simpson's reference    STUPID WISH-GRANTING MONKEY PALM!

[Bespinben]

To Ruto --- Granted! Your link plushie now doesn't get dirty at all - it gets rusty.  (0_0)??

I wish my college library had more manga in it (i.e. japanese comics [ex: Naruto, Rurouni Kenshin, Pocket Monster Specials, Dragonball, etc.]).

[Clanker37]

Granted, but the libaray is being over run by Japanese manga readers! It's up to you to find the legendary Nintendo symbol to distract them. You go on a quest with Gandalf and hobbits. For some reason you wall and you find other people like Darth Vader, Bender from Futurama and Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris makes an even better Nintendo symbol out of a book and a toothpick and gives it to you. You return using Gandalf's magic and distract the Japanese manga readers. The Japanese manga readers rush to the Nintendo symbol and are in awe of the mighty 'N'. Just then N from Black and White appears behind you. The Japanese manga readers are like 'HOLY CRAP! IT'S N!'. N is like 'I have green hair' and the Japanese manga readers rush in awe of Ns mighty shadow. You are trappeled in a Japanese manga reader stampede.

I wish that my story was more popular

[Winter]

I am quilt tripped into reading it. Ironically, it's 3 AM and I am dead tired, and i am having trouble staying focused.

I wish I could appreciate warm colors.

[Bespinben]

Granted, but the cold colors get so jealous of the appreciation the warm colors are getting that they gather together and mob you. 

I wish that Super Mario 3DS would come out today.

[fingerz]

(SO DO I!) Granted, but all the games out now are missing the game data and cannot be played. They're all called back and will be replaced by the date they were officially going to release it.

I wish Nyan was real.

[Bespinben]

Granted. 'Nuff said. Your funeral.

I wish that the rumored 3rd party secret character in Super Smash Bros. 4 is Megaman!

[Jub3r7]

Granted, his only attack is a single shot from his gun, and his smash attack lets him shoot three consecutively.

I wish everyone else also read homestuck.

[Bespinben]

Granted, but we all hate it.

I wish my dorm room was bigger XD

[Dudeman]

Granted, but now it's so big that you get lost trying to find the door, and you fail all your classes.

I wish I didn't have 21 posts to go before my rank goes up.

[Greg]

Granted, you have 99999999999 instead.

I wish I could get over 90 on both my music exams.

[Clanker37]

Granted, you get 100 on both your music exams. You are now considered a musical genius! You are transfered to Hyrule Music Colledge, a higly acclaimed musical school where only the best of the best are accepted. You make new friends called Andy and Danny. One day you realise that Andy and Danny are really plotting against the school! They want to get a massive firehose at the Graduation Assembly ,where musicians like Elton John, Justin Bieber and Koji Kondo, are attending and blast everyone so hard that all their clothes fall off! Andy and Danny laugh at the idea of all the drenched people lying on the ground yelling "Help! Help!" and trying to stand up. Then they'd blast them again! You go on a journy to find Silias Stern and the B-team to help stop this castrophe! While coming back yiou run out of fule! Eleanor, Silas's daughter, finds a stowaway called Zack Freeman. You have to cross the Windy Desert and the Brown Forest to return to the town of Hyrule Music Colledge. You are helped by Ned Smelly and continue on your journey. After many pain-stacking days you reach Hyrule Music Colledge and Silas, Eleanor, Zack, the Kicker and the Smacker all help to put a stop to Andy and Danny. But the third member of the B-team, the Kisser, is a double agent! He kills everyone with a Magneton, but luckely you were saved by Wigglytuff and Chatot, who were passing. You put a stop to Andy and Danny's evil plans and become even more famous. Unfortunatly you swallowed a high amount of methane in the Windy Desert and die.

^Who gets the referances that arn't Nintendo?

I wish that everyone gets these reference even though I know they won't, but there's no harm in wishing

[Bespinben]

Granted, but our heads explode as we simply cannot comprehend how all the references work together to form a cohesive whole.

I wish I had the brain power to understand Clanker's ridiculously intricate wish granting.

[SlowPokemon]

Granted, you get 100 on both your music exams. You are now considered a musical genius! You are transfered to Hyrule Music Colledge, a higly acclaimed musical school where only the best of the best are accepted. You make new friends called Andy and Danny. One day you realise that Andy and Danny are really plotting against the school! They want to get a massive firehose at the Graduation Assembly ,where musicians like Elton John, Justin Bieber and Koji Kondo, are attending and blast everyone so hard that all their clothes fall off! Andy and Danny laugh at the idea of all the drenched people lying on the ground yelling "Help! Help!" and trying to stand up. Then they'd blast them again! You go on a journy to find Silias Stern and the B-team to help stop this castrophe! While coming back yiou run out of fule! Eleanor, Silas's daughter, finds a stowaway called Zack Freeman. You have to cross the Windy Desert and the Brown Forest to return to the town of Hyrule Music Colledge. You are helped by Ned Smelly and continue on your journey. After many pain-stacking days you reach Hyrule Music Colledge and Silas, Eleanor, Zack, the Kicker and the Smacker all help to put a stop to Andy and Danny. But the third member of the B-team, the Kisser, is a double agent! He kills everyone with a Magneton, but luckely you were saved by Wigglytuff and Chatot, who were passing. You put a stop to Andy and Danny's evil plans and become even more famous. Unfortunatly you swallowed a high amount of methane in the Windy Desert and die.

^Who gets the referances that arn't Nintendo?

I wish that everyone gets these reference even though I know they won't, but there's no harm in wishing

"The Day My Butt Went Psycho!"