Ironic Wish Granting

[Greg]

You're done, and now you have nothing to do.

I wish I could get my schoolwork done. 

[Clanker37]

Granted, you now have good grades but no life


I wish I wasn't so lazy

[universe-X]

Granted. You work yourself to death.

I wish this wish would never be corrupted.

[DrP]

Granted. This wish is so perfect that it corrupts you.

I wish for my masters degree a year early.

[Raymondbl]

granted, except it says on the degree that you got it one year earlier than you were supposed to, so no one would hire you.

I wish Windows 8 would come out.

[Cobraroll]

A) It does - eventually
B) It comes out today, in its current half-finished state. Once installed, it can't be removed from your PC, as that feature hasn't been implemented yet. It also for some reason delete all files it can't access, which is to say every one of them as it can't access anything at the moment.

I wish the weather would be nice here on May 17th.

[Greg]

It's nice on May 17th, and horrible every other day for eternity.

I wish that I understood calculus.

[Ruto]

Granted, but then you have no idea how to use it.

I wish I can get home without getting back on that frickkin' plane.

[Raymondbl]

granted, you didn't get back on that plane, you got on another different plane, and it's even worse than the first one 

I wish I was taller.

[universe-X]

Granted, your pituitary gland is now damaged and you are left paralyzed for the remainder of your life.

I wish I had a bowl of cereal.

[Piano_Pika_]

Granted, but the milk is spoiled.

I wish someone would tell me what dragoncave.net is. 

[Jub3r7]

Granted, it's a website that multiple people have put in their signature.

I wish that I could make a normal-looking smile whenever I wanted to.

[Greg]

You find out your smile is already a normal-looking smile, so your wish is wasted.

I wish I knew everything I'll ever need to know.

[Raymondbl]

granted, at the time of your wish, you did not need to know much, so in a few years you still know nothing

I wish none of my dragons die.

[Greg]

They don't. You lose interest and never get another dragon, and ignore the ones you have already who are now immortal, so they get angry at you for ignoring them and head off to get revenge and something very bad happens to you. 

I wish I understood why all you people have dragons.