Jokes

[JDMEK5]

"Haven't I seen your face before?" a judge demanded, looking down at the defendant.

"You have, Your Honor," the man answered hopefully. "I gave your son violin lessons last winter."

"Ah, yes," recalled the judge. "Twenty years!"

[Clanker37]

What did the leper say to the hooker?

"Keep the tip"

[InsigTurtle]

How many engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Three: one to change the lightbulb, and two to make a more efficient design.


How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two: one to change it, and the other to criticize every action the other one does.

[Pit0010]

What do you call a piano that fell down a mine?

A minor.

[JDMEK5]

Why is playing the viola like peeing in your pants?

Spoiler

They both give you a nice warm feeling without making any sound.

[close]

[Jub3r7]

Sorry for bump, but

A guy is taking his girlfriend to prom. He waits in the ticket line for a really long time but gets them. He goes to rent a limo. The rental line is really long but he eventually does it. He goes to buy her flowers. The line at the florist is really long but eventually he gets the flowers. At prom, she asks him to go get punch. He goes to the refreshment table and there's no punchline.

[mikey]

laaaame

[MaestroUGC]

That's what we call an "anti-joke".

[K-NiGhT]

Here's a good joke

My life

[MaestroUGC]

A-ha!

The jokes is that your "life" isn't mine.

[BlackDragonSlayer]

Two men stand in long line for bread. One man die from hunger and cold. Man behind him take his place.

Is funny because no potato.

[Jub3r7]

No potato is not funny. Potato is life. When we are going to harvest, in your mind and in your heart, you feel you are going to export the potatoes and you are not going to see them anymore.
That hurts.

[braix]

not punny

[SuperFireKirby]

How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?

NONE.

[mikey]

How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?

ONE ROTTEN ONE.

fixed