Jokes

[Dude]

Link's not working?

WHO WILL SAVE PRINCESS ZELDA?!?! D: [/really old joke]

:3

[FSM-Reapr]

lol, first time I hear that.

[Olimar12345]

Reminds me of a certain thread... *Nudges Dude*

OMG Bahahahahaha! I remember that thread! Best thread ever ilu dude!

[Ruto]

OMG Bahahahahaha! I remember that thread! Best thread ever ilu dude!

It was proof that I'll click anything -.-

[Dude]

OH RIGHT.

I REMEMBER THAT THREAD NOW.

Riiiiight. I was confused for a sec at what everyone was talking about...

[SlowPokemon]

Person 1: I entered ten puns in a pun contest.
Person 2: How many won?
Person 1: No pun in ten did.

Oh Shado how you make me laugh

[Zunawe]

^I've heard a much more elaborate version of that joke. I like it better, but it's still smile-worthy in any form.

[FSM-Reapr]

A man was walking on the street when he heard a voice. "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you."
The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished.
He went on, and after awhile he was going to cross the road. Once again the voice shouted: "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you and you will die."
The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him. "Where are you?" the man asked. "Who are you?"
"I am your guardian angel," the voice answered.
"Oh yeah?" the man asked. "And where the hell were you when I got married?"

[wariopiano]

What did Spock find in the bathroom after the captain used it?

The Captains log!

[TheZeldaPianist275]

Bump!

-Did you know that Helen Keller had a treehouse?
-Neither did she.

[Zunawe]

^lol wut? An odd joke.

Found a book with a whole section on band jokes. By the way, none of these are meant to be offensive. I'm literally copying what's in the book. They're playful and making fun of stereotypes.

A seven-year-old kid says to his dad, "When I grow up, I want to be a band director."
   And the dad says, "I'm sorry son, but you can't have it both ways."

How do you know when you have a singer at your front door?
   Can't find the key; doesn't know when to come in.

How do you make a bandstand?
   Take away their chairs.

Why do bagpipers walk when they play?
   To get away from the noise.

Why are violins smaller than violas?
   They're really the same size, but violinists have bigger heads.

What do you call a musician without a girlfriend?
   Homeless.

How do you get a guitar player to turn down the volume?
   Put sheet music in front of him.

The doorbell rang, and the lady of the house discovered a workman, complete with tool chest on the front porch.
   "Madam," he announced, "I'm the piano tuner." The lady exclaimed, "Why, I didn't send for a piano tuner." The man replied, "I know, but your neighbors did."

[FSM-Reapr]

What do you call a musician without a girlfriend?
   Homeless.

How do you get a guitar player to turn down the volume?
   Put sheet music in front of him.

*manly tears of laughter*

[SlowPokemon]

How do you get a guitar player to turn down the volume?
   Put sheet music in front of him.
I loved that one

[MaestroUGC]

^That one was the best.

[Yugi]

My girlfriend called me a pedophile today, I said, WOW! THAT'S A BIG WORD FOR A SEVEN YEAR OLD!