Jokes

[dahans]

xDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
Win.

[Winter]

That made my day

[Shadoninja]

A rich man and a poor man are talking about what they gave their wives for Valentine's Day.

The rich man says "I got my wife a Mercedes and a 3 CRT. diamond ring."

The poor man says "Why did you get her both?"

"Because if she doesn't like one she always has the other...what did you get your wife?"

The poor man replies, "I got her slippers and a dildo."

The rich man says "Why did you get her a dildo?"

The poor man says, "So if she doesn't like the slippers, she can go f*ck herself."

[ETFROXX]

Lulzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

[SuperFireKirby]

Bad Pirate jokes:

A pirate gets his ears pierced.

A man man walks up to him and asks,"How much was it to get your ears pierced?"

The pirate replies,"Arrrrg, a buck an ear!"
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his pants.

The bar tender asks,"Why do you have a steering wheel on your pants?"

The pirate replies,"Arrrrg, it be driving me nuts!"

[SlowPokemon]

Pirate joke you've probably all heard before.
A man is in a bar when a pirate comes in and sits next to him. He has a hook, a peg leg, and an eyepatch. The man is intrigued, so he says, "How did you get that peg leg?"

The pirate replies, "Arrr...I was in a fight with a crocodile, and he bit my leg right off."

The man says, "Oh," and after a minute inquires, "How did you get that hook?"

The pirate replies, "Arrr...I was in a swordfight, and my opponent cut me hand off."

The man says, "That's incredible! And how did you get that eyepatch?"

The pirate replies, "Arr...I was out on the deck of me ship, and a seagull pooped in my eye."

The man, puzzled, asks, "You lost your eye because of seagull poop?"

The pirate sighs and says, "Arr, well, it was me first day with the hook."

[Shadoninja]

how do you get your girlfriend to scream during sex? call her.

[SuperFireKirby]

lolz.

[Shadoninja]

what is 2x4? a plank of wood.

[universe-X]

So there's a guy and a girl having sex. The guy throws the condom he's using out the window. The girl says "If you wanna keep going, you have to get that condom." So the guy goes to get it and sees a kid holding it. The guy pulls some candy he stashed in his pocket out. He tells the child "I'll give you this candy for that candy. They trade and the kid goes home and the guy goes back to business.

The kid goes home, his mom sees the candy and asks "Hey son, where did you get that candy from?" The kid replies "I traded with a guy, but joke's on him: I got all the cream out of his candy."

Stupid, I know, but I just had to get this out. xD

[ETFROXX]

That's just sick.

[SuperFireKirby]

THERE WERE NO LOLZ IN THAT JOKE.

IF I WERE TRAPPED ON AN ISLAND WITH HITLER, BIN LADEN, AND THAT JOKE AND I HAD A GUN WITH ONLY 2 BULLETS, I'D SHOOT THAT JOKE TWICE.

[universe-X]

The lolz are in the reactions xD

[Winter]

The lolz are in the reactions xD

lolz

[Maretocks]

*Straight face* Disgusting.

So a neutron walks in to and asks for a drink. The bartender gives him one, and the neutron asks, "How much will that be?" And the bartender says, "No charge for you."

...I laughed.