Twilight as only Man can interpret it.

[HugoMeister]

[05:11:23]   <Sauce>   Okay:
[05:11:29]   <Sauce>   So there's this girl named Bella
[05:11:43]   <Sauce>   she's like "Omg I luv phoenix, oh well I'll leave and go to this redneck hick town in Washington"
[05:12:47]   <Sauce>   She was like "ok i'm in washington, wut do I do"
[05:13:02]   <Sauce>   And her dad who divorced her mom is liek "live with me and cook "
[05:13:08]   <Sauce>   So she's like "lulz k"
[05:13:21]   <Sauce>   So she's like "omg I'm nervous about this new school, omg! D: "
[05:13:38]   <Sauce>   But then her dad's like "Don't worry, I bot u a truck :3 "
[05:13:42]   <Sauce>   So she takes her truck and goes to school
[05:13:46]   <Sauce>   Oh, and the truck is loud and stuff.
[05:13:50]   <Sauce>   And fat and red and old.
[05:13:52]   <Sauce>   Like santa.
[05:13:56]   <Sauce>   ANYWAYS
[05:14:01]   <Sauce>   She goes to school, and everybody is like...
[05:14:05]   <Sauce>   "*stare*"
[05:14:10]   <Sauce>   They all stare at her, you see.
[05:14:17]   <Sauce>   And so she's like "omg nervous D:"
[05:14:29]   <Sauce>   But these people are like "lol ur gud, sit with us at lunch "
[05:14:36]   <Sauce>   So she sits with these people
[05:14:44]   <Sauce>   And they're like "lulz be frindz wif us"
[05:14:47]   <Sauce>   So she's like "lulz k"
[05:14:59]   <Sauce>   And then there are these sexy dudes and chicks on the other side of the lunch foom
[05:15:08]   <Sauce>   And she's like "wtf, who are teh pale sexy peepz?"
[05:15:22]   <Sauce>   And this one chick's like "Ohay, they're the cullens. They're all hawtness, but emo and hate the world"
[05:15:26]   <Sauce>   So she's like "lulz k"
[05:15:33]   <Sauce>   But this one guy, Edward starts to stare at her.
[05:15:40]   <Sauce>   And she's like "omg hawtness, but scary"
[05:15:44]   <Sauce>   He has black eyess
[05:16:04]   <Sauce>   Anyways.
[05:16:18]   <Sauce>   So she's like "zomg"
[05:16:22]   <Sauce>   Anyways, she goes to biology
[05:16:28]   <Sauce>   And her lab partner is teh hawt guy with black eyes.
[05:16:52]   <Sauce>   She sits down next to edward
[05:17:05]   <Sauce>   And he's like "OMG I HATE YOU *STARE* I HATE YOU GET AWAY!"
[05:17:10]   <Sauce>   So he leans away from her.
[05:17:18]   <Sauce>   And doesn't breathe and clenches his fists.
[05:17:24]   <Sauce>   Shes like "omg this hawt guy hates me"
[05:17:30]   <Sauce>   Anyways, she goes home.
[05:17:36]   <Sauce>   And she sleeps and cooks dinner
[05:17:39]   <Sauce>   (not in that order)
[05:17:43]   <Sauce>   Then she wakes up.
[05:17:46]   <Sauce>   And goes to school again.
[05:17:53]   <Sauce>   And she's like "Omg where's teh hawtness guy"?
[05:17:58]   <Sauce>   And her friends are like "lol idk"
[05:18:04]   <Sauce>   So she is super mad and confused
[05:18:14]   <Sauce>   "omg did I make him leave omg so sad sorry confused :? omg"'t go on a hunting trip
[05:19:29]   <Sauce>   So, she meets this guy, mike
[05:19:39]   <Sauce>   And he's lik "Omg bella u teh hawtness, hav sex pl0x?"
[05:19:47]   <Sauce>   And bella's like 'n thx maybe l8r"
[05:19:59]   <Sauce>   And she meets this girl, Jessica
[05:20:04]   <Sauce>   She's like "hay2u"
[05:20:09]   <Sauce>   And bella's like "lol hi"
[05:20:13]   <Sauce>   ANYWAYS
[05:20:18]   <Sauce>   A week later, edward comes back
[05:20:40]   <Sauce>   And then edwards like "lol hi, I'm teh edward. I'm hawtness"
[05:20:55]   <Sauce>   And Bella's like (mentally) "ZOMGZOMGZOMG HE"S TALKING TO LITTLE OLD ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111!one!"
[05:21:01]   <Sauce>   So she's totally horny
[05:21:09]   <Sauce>   And then they do this lab on mitosis
[05:21:16]   <Sauce>   And he's like "lulz prophase"
[05:21:20]   <Sauce>   And she's like 'lulz interphase"
[05:21:30]   <Sauce>   And everybody's like "lulz they are having intellectual sex"
[05:21:33]   <Sauce>   Anyways.
[05:21:41]   <Sauce>   She thinks he's cool and stuff, and he doens't hate her as much.
[05:21:50]   <Sauce>   They start talking and what not.
[05:22:05]   <Sauce>   And eventually he's liek "lol come sit wif me"
[05:22:18]   <Sauce>   And she's like "lulz k"
[05:22:18]   <Sauce>   And they talk.
[05:22:18]   <Sauce>   Blah
[05:22:18]   <Sauce>   And then she goes home and like masturbates or something.
[05:22:19]   <Sauce>   idk
[05:22:27]   <Sauce>   Anyways, soon it starts to snow and stuff
[05:22:32]   <Sauce>   And she's like "hoshit ice"
[05:22:39]   <Sauce>   But her dad's like "hoshit snow chains on teh truck"
[05:22:48]   <Sauce>   So she's like "hoshit tankz"
[05:22:59]   <Sauce>   So she goes to school and totally wtf parks in a parking spot.
[05:23:14]   <Sauce>   And then all of the sudden some guy in a cars comes right at her!
[05:23:17]   <Sauce>   hoshit!
[05:23:22]   <Sauce>   And then it's like slow mothion
[05:23:26]   <Sauce>   And the car spins around!
[05:23:28]   <Sauce>   *spin*
[05:23:39]   <Sauce>   And she sees Edward far away
[05:23:48]   <Sauce>   And she's liek omgomgomg car
[05:24:03]   <Sauce>   But then out of nowhere Edward's liek "ohay, *shove out of way of car*
[05:24:16]   <Sauce>   And then the car like ... comes back to try and get her again.
[05:24:26]   <Sauce>   But Edward's like "i dun think so *super strength*"
[05:24:32]   <Sauce>   And then he blocks the car with his shoulder
[05:24:38]   <Sauce>   And it's like *crunch*
[05:24:51]   <Sauce>   He's like 'hoshit u almost got pwnt, u k?"
[05:24:56]   <Sauce>   And she's like "lolno, ow"
[05:25:11]   <Sauce>   She's then like "wtf, how did you get here and save meh, u wer over dere *point over dere* "
[05:25:21]   <Sauce>   And he's liek "i dunno, shaddup"
[05:25:25]   <Sauce>   So she does.
[05:25:33]   <Sauce>   Then she goes to the hospiaa;l\
[05:25:48]   <Sauce>   And the surgeons are like "lol u be fine"
[05:26:08]   <Sauce>   And then the one head doctor, who is Edward's adoptive father (also pale 'n' sexy) is like "lol X-RAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
[05:26:14]   <Sauce>   And she's wtf fine.
[05:26:17]   <Sauce>   So she goes home
[05:26:31]   <Sauce>   But the kid who hit her, tyler, is like "OMGOMGOGOMGOGMOGMO SO SORRY! D: D:D: I LUV U! "
[05:26:38]   <Sauce>   He's all bloody so she leaves though.
[05:26:52]   <Sauce>   Later she's like 'edward, how u do that, u gat super powrz"
[05:26:55]   <Sauce>   And he's like "lolno"
[05:27:08]   <Sauce>   She's like 'u got bit by a radioactive spider, huh?"
[05:27:17]   <Sauce>   And he's like "lolno" again.
[05:27:20]   <Sauce>   So she's like "k"
[05:27:35]   <Sauce>   Then her friends mike and jessica are like "come to teh beach wif us, it'll pwn"
[05:27:40]   <Sauce>   So she's like "k"
[05:27:48]   <Sauce>   She gets all pissy though since it's cold, but they don't care.
[05:28:00]   <Sauce>   At the beach, she's like "whoa this is on an indian reservation or somting"
[05:28:18]   <Sauce>   And so this dude, jacob black is like 'ohay, i r indian"
[05:28:26]   <Sauce>   She's like "zomg i got sum truck from yo daddy!"
[05:28:31]   <Sauce>   He's like 'neato'
[05:28:37]   <Sauce>   Then she gets all flirty with him
[05:28:42]   <Sauce>   Wait, not yet, scratch that.
[05:28:52]   <Sauce>   Mike's all "ohay, why didn't edward cullen come"
[05:29:03]   <Sauce>   And some indian guy is like "THOSE CULLENS DON'T COME HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[05:29:04]   <Sauce>   "
[05:29:09]   <Sauce>   So Bella gets hella bella suspicious.
[05:29:24]   <Sauce>   She decides she wants some info, so she gets all flirty with Jacob
[05:29:35]   <Sauce>   "Hey there *bat eyelashes* i hurd the cullens dun come here. y? "
[05:29:57]   <Sauce>   So Jacob's like "lol vampires. Our tribe is werewulvz and we dun like teh vampies"
[05:30:03]   <Sauce>   Bella's like "orly?"
[05:30:26]   <Sauce>   He's like "yarly. Old tribal legend says that they want teh blud. But they're nice vampies, so it's k. They still cant come on mah land though. lol superstitions"
[05:30:34]   <Sauce>   So bella's like "wtf haxx"
[05:30:41]   <Sauce>   ANYWAYS...
[05:30:50]   <Sauce>   She gets all interested in vampire crap
[05:30:57]   <Sauce>   She googles it, but gets crappy information
[05:31:01]   <Sauce>   She's like "lol this sux"
[05:31:08]   <Sauce>   Anyways...
[05:31:17]   <Sauce>   She and Edward talk more.
[05:31:21]   <Sauce>   She's like "hay u"
[05:31:27]   <Sauce>   And he's like "want sum sex?"
[05:31:32]   <Sauce>   And she's like "maybe l8r"
[05:31:42]   <Sauce>   So they get all lovey dovey
[05:32:00]   <Sauce>   Eventually, Jessica and her bitchy friends are liek "u wanna go shopping in this shady town"?
[05:32:04]   <Sauce>   And she's like "lulz sure"
[05:32:20]   <Sauce>   But she's totally a nub, and looks for a bookstore while her girlfrinds by sexy clothes.
[05:32:25]   <Sauce>   But she can't find one.
[05:32:34]   <Sauce>   She goes to come dark alley and she's like...
[05:32:38]   <Sauce>   "Bookstore, where u b?"
[05:32:49]   <Sauce>   And these mean people are like "ohay little girl"
[05:32:55]   <Sauce>   And she's like "omg rapists!"
[05:33:05]   <Sauce>   So then edward comes out of nowhere and is liek "nup"
[05:33:08]   <Sauce>   And saves her.
[05:33:22]   <Sauce>   She's like omg edward u saved me twice, i want your vampenis"
[05:33:29]   <Sauce>   And he's like "What do you mean "vampenis"
[05:33:36]   <Sauce>   So she explains what she knows about him.
[05:33:43]   <Sauce>   And he's like "damn I've been found out"
[05:33:51]   <Sauce>   So he explains to her that he can run fast, be strong, and read minds.
[05:33:59]   <Sauce>   And that he eats animal blood instead of peepl blood.
[05:34:15]   <Sauce>   She's like 'orly, ur eyes are dark and ur pissy, is that cuz u hungry for blud"
[05:34:18]   <Sauce>   And he's like "zomg yeah"
[05:34:25]   <Sauce>   So they talk.
[05:34:30]   <Sauce>   Turns out that Edward is 100 years old
[05:34:44]   <Sauce>   He was born in 1901 but was dying from the spanish influenza in Chicago
[05:35:07]   <Sauce>   And then, his adoptive father, the head guy at the current hospital was like "lulz, u gat no family, u gonna die"
[05:35:14]   <Sauce>   He was like " D: "
[05:35:39]   <Sauce>   So the doctor guy (Carlisle Cullen) was like "hay2u. wanna be vampire?"
[05:35:48]   <Sauce>   So Edward Cullen was like "FUCK YEAH!"
[05:35:55]   <Sauce>   So bam, vampire
[05:36:00]   <Sauce>   Anyways...
[05:36:06]   <Sauce>   Edward brings Bella home.
[05:36:12]   <Sauce>   And she's like "omgomgomg vampenis"
[05:36:20]   <Sauce>   She probably masturbates
[05:36:29]   <Sauce>   Back at school, edward and her get nice and flirty
[05:36:35]   <Sauce>   "Hay bella"
[05:36:38]   <Sauce>   "hey ed"
[05:36:43]   <Sauce>   " *make-out* "
[05:36:51]   <Sauce>   Eventually, edward decides to take her on a date.
[05:36:59]   <Sauce>   He's like "lets go to this meadow. it'll be sunny"
[05:37:07]   <Sauce>   And she's like "lol I'm clumsy, oh well lez go"
[05:37:13]   <Sauce>   So they go, and it's far away.
[05:37:18]   <Sauce>   And he gets naked and sparkles
[05:37:22]   <Sauce>   Then they get flirty again'
[05:37:35]   <Sauce>   He tries to be all deep and says like "I left because I wanted to protect you :| "
[05:37:38]   <Sauce>   But they just make out more.
[05:37:48]   <Sauce>   Then she gets on his back, and he runs at super speed back to her house.
[05:37:50]   <Sauce>   The end.
[05:37:55]   <Sauce>   (that's where I am at least)

- - - - TO BE CONTINUED - - - -

[00:16:10]   <Sauce>   Alright, so they go back to what’s her face’s house…… Oh yeah, Bella. And then edward’s like “lol I wach u win u sleep :3”
[00:16:12]   <Sauce>   So bella’s all “OMG NO! BITCH!”
[00:16:14]   <Sauce>   And edward’s like “no, it’s gud. ur like ‘omg sex me Edward!’
[00:16:16]   <Sauce>   Bella’s like ‘omg embarrassing”
[00:16:17]   <Sauce>   And he’s like “o well”
[00:16:19]   <Sauce>   Anyways… when Edward finally leaves, her dad comes home and iz like “make me dinnur bitch”
[00:16:20]   <Sauce>   And she’s like “lulz aight”
[00:16:22]   <Sauce>   He’s like “u had sex with any boys at skewl?”
[00:16:24]   <Sauce>   And she’s all “eew cooties”
[00:16:25]   <Sauce>   He’s like “how bout dat mike kid”
[00:16:27]   <Sauce>   She’s like “he’s sexing with Jessica nao, nthx”
[00:16:28]   <Sauce>   He’s all “o”
[00:16:30]   <Sauce>   She’s then like “lemme sleep, k?”
[00:16:31]   <Sauce>   He’s like “k”
[00:16:33]   <Sauce>   But in her room, edward’s like “hay u”
[00:16:35]   <Sauce>   â€œomg wut r u doin in mah rum! D: scary! “
[00:16:36]   <Sauce>   So he’s all “I dunno, lol”
[00:16:38]   <Sauce>   And then they have more dumb ushy-gushy flirty talk
[00:16:39]   <Sauce>   Edward’s all “u b drivin meh crazy”
[00:16:41]   <Sauce>   So Bella’s liek “omg yey”
[00:16:43]   <Sauce>   Then he’s all “I cant tayk ur smell, it r 2 gud, lemme bit jew”
[00:16:44]   <Sauce>   And bell’s like “nthx”
[00:16:46]   <Sauce>   Edward’s all “okay I’ll try not 2 bit jew, but It b hard  cuz u r gud smelly “
[00:16:47]   <Sauce>   So they talk more.
[00:16:49]   <Sauce>   Blah.
[00:16:51]   <Sauce>   â€œoh bella, u maek me feel liek a hooman :3 “
[00:16:52]   <Sauce>   Bella’s like “kewl”
[00:16:54]   <Sauce>   Edward’s like “lolololol u smell like fud”
[00:16:55]   <Sauce>   Bella’s like “shaddap! D: “
[00:16:57]   <Sauce>   Edward’s all “wanna tok bout creation, evolution and baby seals? ;3 “
[00:16:58]   <Sauce>   Then Bella goes crazy and wants to get married to Edward.
[00:17:00]   <Sauce>   â€œHAY LETZ GIT MARRIED! :O :O :O “
[00:17:02]   <Sauce>   But edward’s like “nthx maybe nevur. u too fragile. u liek teh baby seal”
[00:17:03]   <Sauce>   Then Edward goes crazy. “BITCH GO 2 BED! “
[00:17:05]   <Sauce>   Anyways…
[00:17:07]   <Sauce>   She wakes up and, zomg edward’s there
[00:17:08]   <Sauce>   Edward’s liek “hay2u”
[00:17:09]   <Sauce>   And Bella’s liek “I haz a hungry “
[00:17:11]   <Sauce>   So edward’s like “git sum fud. I dun eat though, I r vampire”

- - - - TO BE CONTINUED AGAIN - - - -

[Sir Awesomesauce]

 

[HugoMeister]

[21:20:12]   <Sauce>   [20:18:02] <Sauce> h'okay
[21:20:16]   <Sauce>   [20:18:07] <Sauce> Let's see where I left off.
[21:20:18]   <Sauce>   [20:18:26] <Sauce> Oh yeah, Edward's like "Bella, git sum fud! Angry "
[21:20:19]   <Sauce>   [20:18:42] <Sauce> So she starts eating some kind of weird cereal or something
[21:20:21]   <Sauce>   [20:19:01] <Sauce> And then out of nowhere, Edward's all "lol cum meat my vampy famly :3 "
[21:20:22]   <Sauce>   [20:19:21] <Sauce> So Bella's like "nthx, 2 scairee, D: may b l8r?"
[21:20:24]   <Sauce>   [20:19:32] <Sauce> And then Edward freaking explodes on her, "NO NAOOOOOOOOOO! Angry "
[21:20:25]   <Sauce>   [20:19:36] <Sauce> So she's like "k"
[21:20:36]   <Sauce>   So they go over to Edward's house.
[21:20:43]   <Sauce>   Which is all old and white
[21:20:47]   <Sauce>   And he's like "lol cum in pl0x"
[21:20:56]   <Sauce>   So Bella's like "omg scray D: o well, lez go"
[21:21:10]   <Sauce>   So they go into the house.
[21:21:22]   <Sauce>   And then Edward's adoptive mother, Esme is like "hay2u *handshake* "
[21:21:37]   <Sauce>   And then Edward's adoptive father, Carlisle is like "hay2u *handshake* "
[21:21:52]   <Sauce>   And then Edward's adoptive sister, Alice comes zooming down the stairs.
[21:22:00]   <Sauce>   And she totally starts making out with Bella.
[21:22:12]   <Sauce>   And she's like "lol i r vampire lesbian, and u r gud smelly"
[21:22:24]   <Sauce>   So Bella freaks out a bit, but I think she liked it.
[21:22:28]   <Sauce>   Anyways...
[21:22:33]   <Sauce>   There's also this other guy there, Jasper
[21:22:38]   <Sauce>   He's edward's adoptive brother.
[21:22:50]   <Sauce>   And he's too cool to shake Bella's hand, so he's just like "hay2u :| "
[21:23:09]   <Sauce>   Oh, and Alice has the power to see the future, and Jasper can read/control people's emotions
[21:23:10]   <Sauce>   Anyways...
[21:23:25]   <Sauce>   There's two other vampires in Edward's dumb little family, but they thought they were too cool to say hi to teh bella.
[21:23:31]   <Sauce>   Anyways...
[21:23:47]   <Sauce>   Esme is liek "omg lol, ur just wut edwurd needed, some hawt luvin' "
[21:24:04]   <Sauce>   And Bella's like "omg edwurd is too good at everything it maeks meh sad Sad "
[21:24:19]   <Sauce>   And Esme is like " *bitchslaps edward* STOP SHOWING OFF, BITCH!"
[21:24:30]   <Sauce>   And Edward's liek "oh lol, oops."
[21:24:41]   <Sauce>   And then Bella is like "wtf u gaiz hav a piano"
[21:24:51]   <Sauce>   And Esme's like "lolyup, Edward plai sum moosic"
[21:24:56]   <Sauce>   So he does.
[21:25:01]   <Sauce>   *music*
[21:25:13]   <Sauce>   And he's like "bella i rote 'dat song 4 u, it r gud, huh?"
[21:25:20]   <Sauce>   And bella's like " Cry omg so purty"
[21:25:38]   <Sauce>   So Edward's like "hay letz go on a tor of da haus."
[21:25:41]   <Sauce>   So Bella's like "k"
[21:25:46]   <Sauce>   And they start going around the house.
[21:26:00]   <Sauce>   And then bella sees this old wooden cross on the wall and she's like "lolwut, cross?"
[21:26:14]   <Sauce>   And Edward's like "Oh, hold on, lemme give you some backstory about teh Carlisle"
[21:26:18]   <Sauce>   ------- BACKSTORY -------------
[21:26:24]   <Sauce>   Okay, so Carlisle is super old
[21:26:31]   <Sauce>   He was born in the 1640's in London
[21:26:42]   <Sauce>   And everybody back then was like "omg kill teh vampires :| "
[21:27:01]   <Sauce>   Including his father, who was in charge of vampire raids (he carved the cross on the wall).
[21:27:14]   <Sauce>   His father was like "son, u gotta kill teh monsturs"
[21:27:20]   <Sauce>   And Carlisle was like "k"
[21:27:28]   <Sauce>   So eventually, the father dies, and Carlisle takes over
[21:27:39]   <Sauce>   And he's getting these vampires he saw in a sewer.
[21:27:43]   <Sauce>   So he's like "lol die!"
[21:27:50]   <Sauce>   But the vampire's like "nup" and bites him.
[21:27:52]   <Sauce>   *bite*
[21:27:58]   <Sauce>   And Carlisle is like "omg ow"
[21:28:01]   <Sauce>   And he hides in some potatoes.
[21:28:06]   <Sauce>   For 3 days, as he transforms.
[21:28:12]   <Sauce>   And he's liek "onoz, i r teh evil"
[21:28:19]   <Sauce>   And he gets all emo and hates himself.
[21:28:25]   <Sauce>   "omg i hate mahself D: "
[21:28:38]   <Sauce>   He doesn't wanna suck teh bloodzors, but he thinks he has to.
[21:28:41]   <Sauce>   So he runs away
[21:28:42]   <Sauce>   *run*
[21:28:59]   <Sauce>   And he's on the countryside, and he attacks a dear, and starts omnomnoming its blood
[21:29:06]   <Sauce>   And he's like "lolwut, i dun need teh peepl blud."
[21:29:21]   <Sauce>   So he started to live off teh aminals, untill he din need the ppl blud.
[21:29:32]   <Sauce>   And then he decided to become super smart, since he was like immortal
[21:29:38]   <Sauce>   And he studied medicine all over teh place.
[21:29:45]   <Sauce>   Then he came to America and became a doctor
[21:29:54]   <Sauce>   And then Edward was born in 1901
[21:30:03]   <Sauce>   And when he was 17, all his family was dying of some disease.
[21:30:11]   <Sauce>   And then they died.
[21:30:15]   <Sauce>   And Edward was dying.
[21:30:27]   <Sauce>   And Carlisle was like "onoz i b lonely, and he b dyin' wut do i duz"
[21:30:35]   <Sauce>   And Edward's like "omg save meh D: "
[21:30:43]   <Sauce>   So Carlisle was like " *bite* "
[21:30:49]   <Sauce>   And then Edward got vampirized.
[21:30:55]   <Sauce>   ------- no moar backstory ---------
[21:31:00]   <Sauce>   And bella was like "omg lulz"
[21:31:10]   <Sauce>   And Edward was like " :| "
[21:31:25]   <Sauce>   And then Alice, the lesbian vampire, is like "omg I see thunderstorms in teh future, lets plai baseball"
[21:31:32]   <Sauce>   And so everybody is like "omg k"
[21:31:55]   <Sauce>   So edward carries bella, and they all run super fast to this ginormous clearing in teh woods.
[21:32:09]   <Sauce>   And they mark bases like really far apart, since vampires haz super speed and super strength
[21:32:15]   <Sauce>   And they start to play teh baseball
[21:32:25]   <Sauce>   But Bella can't play because she's clumsy and sucks at everything.
[21:32:37]   <Sauce>   So edward is like 'lulz watch"
[21:32:41]   <Sauce>   and he runs fast
[21:32:43]   <Sauce>   Anyways...
[21:32:55]   <Sauce>   When the ball hits the bad it maks loud noises, like thunder
[21:33:01]   <Sauce>   So that's why they play in thunderstorms....
[21:33:03]   <Sauce>   Anyways...
[21:33:12]   <Sauce>   While they're playing, Alice starts having crazy future visions.
[21:33:33]   <Sauce>   And she's like "omg some vampirz r cumin' D: "
[21:33:39]   <Sauce>   So everybody was like "omg"
[21:33:52]   <Sauce>   And bella was like "omg i r suk D: "
[21:33:59]   <Sauce>   And edward pushes her into a bush or something
[21:34:07]   <Sauce>   He's liek "YOU R 2 SMELLY, GO INTO TEH BUSH! Angry "
[21:34:15]   <Sauce>   So she's like "k"
[21:34:19]   <Sauce>   And she hides.
[21:34:38]   <Sauce>   And then these new vampires come.
[21:34:41]   <Sauce>   There's three of them.
[21:34:44]   <Sauce>   There's james, he's like teh leader.
[21:34:52]   <Sauce>   Laurent, he's like ... idk
[21:34:55]   <Sauce>   And this one chick with red hair.
[21:34:59]   <Sauce>   I dunno her name, o wellz.
[21:35:07]   <Sauce>   And they're like "hay can we plai teh baseball :O"
[21:35:13]   <Sauce>   And Carlisle is like "nup, we b dun"
[21:35:20]   <Sauce>   So they're like "bitch!"
[21:35:24]   <Sauce>   And Carlisle is like "lol"
[21:35:32]   <Sauce>   Anyways...
[21:35:39]   <Sauce>   They talk some more, and then they see bella.
[21:35:42]   <Sauce>   And they're like "omg snack"
[21:35:51]   <Sauce>   And edward is like, "Bitch, no snack!"
[21:36:00]   <Sauce>   So he gets all in their face...
[21:36:07]   <Sauce>   And he's like "oh no you di-in't!"
[21:36:16]   <Sauce>   And they're like "can i haz teh nom-nom?"
[21:36:22]   <Sauce>   And they start to get all pissy.
[21:36:32]   <Sauce>   edward picks up bella and runs off with her.
[21:36:39]   <Sauce>   And everybody starts a'freakin' out!
[21:37:03]   <Sauce>   Edward's like "zomg tht gai b teh trackur, he tracks targets and eats dem D: like Bella! zomg D: "
[21:37:12]   <Sauce>   And apparently the tracker wants to eat bella.
[21:37:44]   <Sauce>   And so Bella is carried by Edward, and alice and emmett follow, and they all go back to the jeep.
[21:38:09]   <Sauce>   And there, everybody is like "omg run away, he smellz bella, and wants her in his mowf :3 "
[21:38:17]   <Sauce>   So they start driving fast.
[21:38:24]   <Sauce>   And they're like "onoz wut duz we do? D:"
[21:38:33]   <Sauce>   And Bella's liek "Bitch, calm teh fuck down!"
[21:38:37]   <Sauce>   Then she gets all planny
[21:39:43]   <Sauce>   She's like "k, so, alice and jasper take me to phoenix. Edward will run around in canada, and he'll follow edward, since he thinks edward and I are togethur. And then i'll giv mah clothes to teh esme, and she'll distract the red-hard chick. :3 after 1 week, eddy will teh come to phoenix, so we cn maik out :O "
[21:39:54]   <Sauce>   And they're like "lulz gud"
[21:39:57]   <Sauce>   So they do that.
[21:40:04]   <Sauce>   Alice and Jasper take her to phoenix.
[21:40:08]   <Sauce>   And she's like " Sad "
[21:40:15]   <Sauce>   Cuz' she wants Edward's vampenis.
[21:40:31]   <Sauce>   And Alice is like "omg sorry, i dun got it wif me"
[21:40:45]   <Sauce>   And jasper's liek "i got 1, but it not b Edwurd's :3 "
[21:40:51]   <Sauce>   Anyways...
[21:41:13]   <Sauce>   Bella gets all worried that her dad will get pwnt, but Esme and Rosalie are like "nup, he'll be fine Cheesy "
[21:41:24]   <Sauce>   Eventually, Alice starts totally tripping out
[21:41:29]   <Sauce>   She's like 'whoa whoa wwhoa."
[21:41:33]   <Sauce>   And she starts having visions.
[21:41:42]   <Sauce>   Jasper and Bella are like "lolwut?"
[21:41:53]   <Sauce>   And Alice is like "zomg I see a ballet room, neato"
[21:41:59]   <Sauce>   And then the phone rings.
[21:42:09]   <Sauce>   And the tracker guy is liek "get away from jasper and alice!"
[21:42:17]   <Sauce>   So bella gets away from them and talks on the phone more
[21:42:36]   <Sauce>   And the tracker is like "I gat yo momma! Imma kill'er if you don't come here all alone! :| "
[21:42:43]   <Sauce>   So Bella was like "onoz"
[21:43:00]   <Sauce>   Eventually, Alice and Jasper decide she isn't safe in phoenix, so she's like "omg i'll go to chicago"
[21:43:11]   <Sauce>   And they try and take her there, from the phoenix airport.
[21:43:19]   <Sauce>   But Bella is liek "onoz mah mommy!"
[21:43:25]   <Sauce>   So she runs away from them, and goes to the ballroom.
[21:43:32]   <Sauce>   ON the way she is like "lulz im gonna die D: "
[21:43:44]   <Sauce>   But she pretends that she has Edward's vampenis inside her, so she is happy.
[21:43:49]   <Sauce>   Eventually she gets to teh ballroom.
[21:43:53]   <Sauce>   Ballet room* watever
[21:44:02]   <Sauce>   And The tracker is like "jk i never had ur mom :| "
[21:44:08]   <Sauce>   And then he starts gettin' all gloaty
[21:44:19]   <Sauce>   Like... 'lulz i got u, u lose, nya-nya.
[21:44:21]   <Sauce>   Tongue
[21:44:27]   <Sauce>   And so Bella's like "fuck, oh well"
[21:44:38]   <Sauce>   So he starts to kill her, and she totally wtf passes out.
[21:44:41]   <Sauce>   And she hears Edward
[21:44:45]   <Sauce>   And he's like 'wake up bitch!"
[21:44:54]   <Sauce>   And she's like "omg what happened :| "
[21:45:00]   <Sauce>   And he's like "we killed teh guy"
[21:45:03]   <Sauce>   So she's like "omg yey"
[21:45:24]   <Sauce>   And then they go to the hopsital and say she fell out a window, cuz she's all bloody.
[21:45:34]   <Sauce>   And then she's like "zomg mah hand hurtz D: "
[21:45:42]   <Sauce>   And Edward's like "omg he bited you :3 "
[21:45:47]   <Sauce>   And she's like "wut do we do"
[21:45:58]   <Sauce>   And Carlisle is like "Suck that motherfucker! ... only if you want though :3 "
[21:46:05]   <Sauce>   So Edward's like "k"
[21:46:09]   <Sauce>   And he totally wtf sucks the venom out.
[21:46:18]   <Sauce>   And then Edward's like "hao du u feel :| "
[21:46:25]   <Sauce>   And she's like "I feel hella bella fine ^_^ "
[21:46:32]   <Sauce>   So he's like "gud k"
[21:46:37]   <Sauce>   END

- - - - END - - - -