[PC] OneShot - "Phosphor" by Francesca Minasi

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Other
Game: OneShot
Console: PC
Title: Phosphor
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Francesca Minasi

[Francesca]

This track plays when Niko first enters the Barrens.

[Whoppybones]

m3 RH - I hear b1 an F below the E, b1.5 an A above the F, b2 a D above the B, b3 a B below the G, and b4 a C below the A
m4 RH - b1, 1.5, 2 same as m3
See also m11-12, m19-20,
m15-16 and m23-24 sound similar but have a little bit different, especially on b2.5 where there is an A (and maybe still an E, though that might not exist there)
m27 RH - b1-3 I hear a run going C-E-F#-G-F#
m28 RH - b2 there is a D up top
m32 RH - b1-2.5 I hear a run going B-E-G-E (Em tonic position starting at the B you have) and maybe not a D on b2
m36 and m40/41 parallel m28 and m32
It also could be beneficial to mess around with the voicings. For some of the measures (especially the ones like I've mentioned here), it seems like there may be a melody and a harmony, so it may or may not be good to split them into different voices.

For the left hand, it's not a bad idea to have it make up for the lack of percussion. Right now, though, the notes you have playing clash quite a bit with what's going on in the melody. It might help to have the chord you're playing in that hand shift along with the main chords that are going on in the right hand (so perhaps one measure you're playing an A and an E, and the next it's an F and a C, for example). I'd say mess around with that and see what you can do with it!

It's a neat song that I've never heard before, and I look forward to seeing what you can do with it!

[Francesca]

m3 RH - I hear b1 an F below the E, b1.5 an A above the F, b2 a D above the B, b3 a B below the G, and b4 a C below the A
m4 RH - b1, 1.5, 2 same as m3
See also m11-12, m19-20,
m15-16 and m23-24 sound similar but have a little bit different, especially on b2.5 where there is an A (and maybe still an E, though that might not exist there)
m27 RH - b1-3 I hear a run going C-E-F#-G-F#
m28 RH - b2 there is a D up top
m32 RH - b1-2.5 I hear a run going B-E-G-E (Em tonic position starting at the B you have) and maybe not a D on b2
m36 and m40/41 parallel m28 and m32

I looked through these suggestions and made most of the changes; are you sure the notes in m32 are B-E-G-E and not C-E-G-E? I think I hear a C...

It also could be beneficial to mess around with the voicings. For some of the measures (especially the ones like I've mentioned here), it seems like there may be a melody and a harmony, so it may or may not be good to split them into different voices.

I tried to modify the voices to better distinguish between melody and harmony.

For the left hand, it's not a bad idea to have it make up for the lack of percussion. Right now, though, the notes you have playing clash quite a bit with what's going on in the melody. It might help to have the chord you're playing in that hand shift along with the main chords that are going on in the right hand (so perhaps one measure you're playing an A and an E, and the next it's an F and a C, for example). I'd say mess around with that and see what you can do with it!

Ok, that makes sense, I modified the bass in these parts.

Thank you for the suggestions!