Cashwarrior1's Aquatic Update Sheets

[cashwarrior1]

Oh whoops, that was a mistake lmao. Updated.

[Bloop]

Awesome, then I'll approve Seasource!

[Bloop]

Riptide Rupture
-m2: I don't think I particularly hear the 7ths in the R.H., only octaves.
-m3, 31 and 49: It feels kinda weird to have the ending note of the glissando be somewhere halfway through the bar, without indication where that beat lies exactly. According to Behind Bars, you can put a half note (or dotted half note in m31) between brackets above the bar. See the top image example at the bottom right:

Spoiler

[close]

In m3 and 49, the glissando also seems to start an 8th note earlier.
-m6: I hear an Eb in the L.H. on beat 4.75: the R.H. (trumpet) does play the Db though
-m10: Same as in m6, but the trumpet seems to play C here instead. Trumpet player be trying to get that Eb and failing hard lol
-m8: I noticed the D-Eb in the R.H. in this bar before I saw your comment about some places sounding like there's an unintended note. I feel like in this part it might be intentionally unintended, similar to how the trumpet in m6 and 10 doesn't seem to get the Eb that the piano plays. I feel like it might be intentionally unintended, to make the song sound more chaotic and sloppy, but including that in the sheet might help to increase that sloppiness?
-m17 and 19: The L.H. tenths are hard for me to play at speed, and some (The Fm and Gm in m19) are too stretchy for me in general. Maybe in m17 you could make the tenths optional, or rewrite it as 3-note chords (leaving out the tenth in beat 1 and 3 and the fifth in beat 2 and 4, nice voice leading stuff), and in m19 you could move the bottom note up an octave?
-m24-26: Maybe instead of cross-staffing, you could just move the cross-staffed notes in the R.H.? It might look a bit cleaner without the tall lines crossing the bars
-m28-31: The articulations in the R.H. should be reset to its original positions (above the noteheads)

[cashwarrior1]

-m2: I don't think I particularly hear the 7ths in the R.H., only octaves.

I hear them in the right ear specifically.

-m8: I noticed the D-Eb in the R.H. in this bar before I saw your comment about some places sounding like there's an unintended note. I feel like in this part it might be intentionally unintended, similar to how the trumpet in m6 and 10 doesn't seem to get the Eb that the piano plays. I feel like it might be intentionally unintended, to make the song sound more chaotic and sloppy, but including that in the sheet might help to increase that sloppiness?

That makes sense. Part of my reasoning for not including it was just because that was the only place it happened, but it definitely does add to it.

-m17 and 19: The L.H. tenths are hard for me to play at speed, and some (The Fm and Gm in m19) are too stretchy for me in general. Maybe in m17 you could make the tenths optional, or rewrite it as 3-note chords (leaving out the tenth in beat 1 and 3 and the fifth in beat 2 and 4, nice voice leading stuff), and in m19 you could move the bottom note up an octave?

So I've been able to play this part roughly up to tempo, but I had tried finding different ways to notate it. The chromatic descending line in the top of the notes in m17 (and the ascending ones in m19) I felt were essential along with the bass movement. I am looking at it as a whole and thinking that you can still get the harmonic movement and power without needing the lower notes, so I made everything straight chords. Also, I'm realizing that beat 2 in m17 might be two eighth notes so I put that in too.

-m24-26: Maybe instead of cross-staffing, you could just move the cross-staffed notes in the R.H.? It might look a bit cleaner without the tall lines crossing the bars

I wanted to keep the lower voice clearly its own thing, which is why I had them connected... but they're all playing the same notes here anyways (and everyone comments on this lmao)

Updated.

[Bloop]

Sorry for the wait! I hear the 7ths in m2 too now, everything else looks good like this! Riptide Rupture is accepted