Fernman's Aquatic Update Project Sheets

[Fernman]

What better aquatic songs than WAVE RACE!

[N64] Wave Race 64 : Main Title

MUS

Comments:
I omitted the percussion at the start
beat 1 of m8 should only play on the repeat, I added a parenthesis, but it only applied to the top note
m30 - I don't see how it's practical to play beat 3-4 RH with the Bb and d, but I added them in since I think you might be expecting them.
m38 b4, I simplified to a triplet, instead of a sextuplet, for playability

[N64] Wave Race 64 : Sunny Beach

MUS

Comments:
m3 beat 4 I simplified to something more realistic to play
m4 beat 1, should only be played the first time, the parenthesis is there. though on the repeat the right hand could play the G, I just don't know how to notate this without that section getting too busy.
m23 I omitted the LH runs because the RH is busy, and the LH part has the melody, I began to add the runs in subsequent measures.

If the difference between what is arranged and what NSM expects is too great let me know and I can pick something else. I'm happy with how its arranged, I just don't want anything to get stuck.... for all our sake. No hard feelings taken.

[Bloop]

Hiya! Just leaving a comment in response to this:

If the difference between what is arranged and what NSM expects is too great let me know and I can pick something else. I'm happy with how its arranged, I just don't want anything to get stuck.... for all our sake. No hard feelings taken.

I think it should be possible to work on these sheets, but it might still take a bit of time. The biggest thing I noticed at first listen is that we could work on filling some empty space in the sheets, where there's only a long note being played (most notably in Sunny Beach), probably via adding some bass notes or another kind of rhythmic accompinament. If we don't finish sheets in time for the project update, we could always just move it to submissions instead (as extra submissions). If you'd rather pick a sheet that would take less time or have less invasive changes, that's fine too!

[Fernman]

The biggest thing I noticed at first listen is that we could work on filling some empty space in the sheets, where there's only a long note being played (most notably in Sunny Beach), probably via adding some bass notes or another kind of rhythmic accompinament

I won't doubt your expertise, but what I hear as dominant in Sunny Beach is what is what is arranged. example: m5-6 there is that bass guitar(?) (that is barely heard) if it's as low as I hear it wouldn't be in reach of the surrounding notes, and I'm not sure moving it up an octave is the better decision. That held note captures what is primarily audible. Later on there is that pulsing sound in the bass which I don't want in the arrangement at all since it changes the feel of the song (or at least how I hear the song).

Not sure what your overall thoughts are on this. I think Sunny Beach captures the primarily heard parts of the song, and has a good feeling to it. The song has a fast enough tempo that the held notes don't sound "stale" at any point in my opinion. I'd like to better understand how NSM thinks about this so I can make note of what I may submit in general to NSM.

[Bloop]

Title Theme

I omitted the percussion at the start

The C-F-Bb triad plays in those first two bars too though, so maybe you can add the two bars with just that triad? (better to add this last, so the measure numbers don't change for the rest of the feedback)

beat 1 of m8 should only play on the repeat, I added a parenthesis, but it only applied to the top note

You can add more parentheses and move them up or down, or alternatively, I can use full finale to shrink the note size so it's in-your-face?

m30 - I don't see how it's practical to play beat 3-4 RH with the Bb and d, but I added them in since I think you might be expecting them.

It's on the harder side yeah, but not impossible. My fingering for beat 3 is 1-4 and 2-5, for beat 4 2-5 and 1-3. A way to practice this is to play them like full chords (so Bb-D-G-Bb and F-Bb-C-F) and practice the jump between the two: play them staccato and fall into the next chord, without trying to check if your fingers are on the notes, kinda like jumping on a trampoline. If that goes well, then try playing the individual dyads again.

m38 b4, I simplified to a triplet, instead of a sextuplet, for playability

The sextuplet is pretty hard yeah, but maybe instead of a chromatic tuplet, you could do the last four notes of the sextuplet as 32nds notes: F-G-A-Bb to the C in m37. You can play that with a quick 1-2-3-4-5 fingering. You can do the same in m38 then

-m1-4: All the high glockenspiel notes sound like they ring on, so maybe you can leave out the staccatos/tie over the notes that can be tied over?
-m3: I don't hear this C in the R.H. on beat 1.5, I think I can only hear a delay/reverb effect on the C from m2 beat 4.5
-m6: The chord on beat 2 should be E-G-A-C for the R.H., and a D in the L.H. This D should be held into m7 too. Also, the chord on beat 1 sounds like it should be an 8th note + 8th rest, as there's a rest between that chord and the one on beat 2. You could even add a glissando up to the D on beat 2.
-m8-11: I think it may be better to add the bass in these 4 measures too, and arrange the chords in dyads underneath the R.H. The bass and drums here have this driving rhythm that is missing when just playing long notes in the L.H. The R.H. could be something like this:

You could even leave out the held notes in m9 if you want for easier playability.
-m9: I hear the G in the R.H. on beat 4 (instead of beat 3.5), and the F on beat 4.5, or on beat 1 of m10 (instead of beat 4), depending on how you hear the slide down. Also, I hear an 8th rest on beat 3.5, similar to m13.
-m14-15: There are some ornamentations on the R.H. notes in m14 beat 1.5 and 3.5, and m15 beat 1.5: these are mordents (the 8th articulation in finales articulation window)
-m20: I'd probably use F's for the open hi-hats here instead of E's, as the E's clash with the Bb major chord.
-m22 and 30: I hear a C in the L.H. whole note instead of a D
-m23 and 31: I hear an F in the L.H. whole note instead of an E
-m24: R.H. beat 3 Bb should have a staccato too
-m25-28: You could do something like this for the L.H.:

I used the bass notes as bottom notes, and arranged a part of the synth lead above that. The driving bass rhythm is technically possible, but a bit on the harder side in m25-26, so I put it back in in m27-28. You can do something similar in m33-34, but you can use the upper layer in m33 to play some of the R.H. notes instead, as they'd clash otherwise. In m34, the L.H. should start with the Eb bass notes on beat 4 already. The R.H. can take a G below the Bb-C-F chord in beat 4.
-m29: It's hard to implement the slide on beat 2 R.H., but you could do F-C (instead of A-F) here so it starts on a lower note. For the slide you could add in two grace notes D and E before beat 3, but leaving them out is fine too
-m39: Maybe you could leave out the R.H. bottom C for a bit easier playability after the run in m38? For the L.H., I think it's better to also play the quick 16th-16th-8th on a C. Also, the bass softly plays something from beat 2 on, G-A-Bb-A-G in 8ths. In beat 4, the R.H. chord should be Db-Gb-Bb, and the L.H. should be an Ab.
-m39-41: Maybe you can move the R.H. up an octave in m39 beat 4 up to m41 beat 1 (and m8 beat 1 too), for some more power? You could also add an octave above or below the L.H. then.

Lastly, since the optional ending is based on m8-10, you could try to rewrite it in the style of the new m8-10 too, but I'm not exactly sure yet what I'd do myself. Ending it on m41 beat 1 would work too, as a short but strong ending.

[Bloop]

I won't doubt your expertise, but what I hear as dominant in Sunny Beach is what is what is arranged. example: m5-6 there is that bass guitar(?) (that is barely heard) if it's as low as I hear it wouldn't be in reach of the surrounding notes, and I'm not sure moving it up an octave is the better decision. That held note captures what is primarily audible. Later on there is that pulsing sound in the bass which I don't want in the arrangement at all since it changes the feel of the song (or at least how I hear the song).

Not sure what your overall thoughts are on this. I think Sunny Beach captures the primarily heard parts of the song, and has a good feeling to it. The song has a fast enough tempo that the held notes don't sound "stale" at any point in my opinion. I'd like to better understand how NSM thinks about this so I can make note of what I may submit in general to NSM.

Sorry for not responding to this yet! What I mostly noticed in the Sunny Beach, is that the arrangement of the whole rhythm section of the original (so piano, drums and bass guitar) is reduced to a few chords here and there in some places. If you were to listen to the arrangement without the R.H., it'd be really empty in most places. This is because there are places with only long notes, and you're missing a whole lower part of the frequency range. Never underestimate what a bass guitar adds to a song: while it's not in the foreground, you'll definitely miss it when it's gone.

What I usually do when I arrange a whole rhythm section for piano, is to include a bass pattern that is either just the same bass as the original, or something that approaches the bass guitar + drums. The chord accents I then try to arrange in the R.H. Here's an example of m9-12 with just the R.H.:

The melody and chords are taken care of, so the L.H. can play a bass part that approaches the bass guitar. I haven't note checked this btw, but I did already hear that the bass plays some bass notes that are different than just the upper structures of the chords. For example, if the R.H. plays B major (B-D#-F#), but the bass plays a G#, it suddenly becomes a G#m7 instead, a chord that has a whole different feel, so that's another reason why having a bass part is important.

[Fernman]

The C-F-Bb triad plays in those first two bars too though, so maybe you can add the two bars with just that triad? (better to add this last, so the measure numbers don't change for the rest of the feedback)

Without something to substitute the drum with, it's just a boring held note. and trying to add something this with the F and the drum, just doesn't feel well adapted to the piano in my opinion. I rather leave it off.

You can add more parentheses and move them up or down, or alternatively, I can use full finale to shrink the note size so it's in-your-face?

Not sure what the "standard" is. I thought all optional notes would have the parenthesis, but I'll defer to you on what is common practice.

-m8-11: I think it may be better to add the bass in these 4 measures too, and arrange the chords in dyads underneath the R.H. The bass and drums here have this driving rhythm that is missing when just playing long notes in the L.H. The R.H. could be something like this: You could even leave out the held notes in m9 if you want for easier playability.

originally, I left it off because the following phrase is almost the same, so for variety I gave more emphasis to the held notes before jumping into the bass guitar. Its changed though.

-m14-15: There are some ornamentations on the R.H. notes in m14 beat 1.5 and 3.5, and m15 beat 1.5: these are mordents (the 8th articulation in finales articulation window)

playing a mordent at that speed? NSM must really want precise transcriptions...

-m25-28: You could do something like this for the L.H.: I used the bass notes as bottom notes, and arranged a part of the synth lead above that. The driving bass rhythm is technically possible, but a bit on the harder side in m25-26, so I put it back in in m27-28.

my original thought was to have a break or "catch ones breath" from the 8th notes by giving attention to other instrumentation.

You can do something similar in m33-34, but you can use the upper layer in m33 to play some of the R.H. notes instead, as they'd clash otherwise. In m34, the L.H. should start with the Eb bass notes on beat 4 already. The R.H. can take a G below the Bb-C-F chord in beat 4.

I might have got lost with this one. So as not to clash in m33 I changed the An 8th notes to a Gn, while keeping everything else I had near the same.

-m39-41: Maybe you can move the R.H. up an octave in m39 beat 4 up to m41 beat 1 (and m8 beat 1 too), for some more power? You could also add an octave above or below the L.H. then.

That makes the jump back down to the Cn more daunting, but if you think a virtuoso can play it Bloop, so be it.

Lastly, since the optional ending is based on m8-10, you could try to rewrite it in the style of the new m8-10 too, but I'm not exactly sure yet what I'd do myself. Ending it on m41 beat 1 would work too, as a short but strong ending.

Ending it on a high note leaves one in suspense/expecting, instead of at rest, so I brought it down with some octave F's + harmony.

As for Sunny Beach, I'll give it another look over at some point, but if it is unlikely to completed in the project timeframe (whatever that may be), I rather have you not start the review process and it can be skipped, no need to move it to the submissions section.

[Bloop]

Without something to substitute the drum with, it's just a boring held note. and trying to add something this with the F and the drum, just doesn't feel well adapted to the piano in my opinion. I rather leave it off.

You could do something like this together with a pedal mark, and have it continue into the current first 4 measures too:

Not sure what the "standard" is. I thought all optional notes would have the parenthesis, but I'll defer to you on what is common practice.

We usually do use parentheses for optional notes yeah, but it's not something that is defined in formatting guidelines. It was an alternative I thought of myself, so I'd accept both ways ^^ It depends on what you prefer.

originally, I left it off because the following phrase is almost the same, so for variety I gave more emphasis to the held notes before jumping into the bass guitar. Its changed though.

I think I hear an A instead of Bb on m9 beat 4.5 in the bass, but otherwise looks good ^^

playing a mordent at that speed? NSM must really want precise transcriptions...

We do, yes: players are free to simplify arrangements if needed. Adding the mordent shows what the original does, but if the player wants to leave it out, they can easily just ignore the mordent.
Either way: the mordents you currently have are inverted mordents, we actually need the standard ones (so without the vertical line in the middle)

my original thought was to have a break or "catch ones breath" from the 8th notes by giving attention to other instrumentation.

I see yeah, at least we still have the two measure break ^^ Is there a specific reason you wrote G-C in measure 25 L.H. beat 1, instead of the C-E in my example? I usually try to keep the lowest note the same as whatever the bass guitar is playing, because all other notes relate harmonically to the lowest note. Also, fourths on itself sounds less stable than fifths or octaves in the middle to low range of the bass clef

I might have got lost with this one. So as not to clash in m33 I changed the An 8th notes to a Gn, while keeping everything else I had near the same.

I think I was aiming more towards this:

So similar to m25-26, but with some of the R.H. notes in the L.H. so they don't clash.

That makes the jump back down to the Cn more daunting, but if you think a virtuoso can play it Bloop, so be it.

You can use a similar practice here as to the one I explained for m30 ^^ This is more to practice a muscle memory for where notes on the piano are.

Ending it on a high note leaves one in suspense/expecting, instead of at rest, so I brought it down with some octave F's + harmony.

That works too yeah!

Some other comments too:
-m29: I was actually thinking more along the lines of this:

So we start on a lower note on beat 2, but have a way of imitating the guitar slide to beat 3. Grace notes with 2 or more notes should be written as 16th notes btw, instead of 8ths.
-m32: Seems I forgot this one, but R.H. beat 3 is missing a staccato here (first note of the triplet, like in m24)
-m38-39: Maybe you could move up the R.H. in m38 beat 4 and m39 beat 1-1.5 up an octave too? (idk why I didn't think of that earlier). Also, similar to m25, I think it'd work better to have the L.H. in m39 beat 1-1.5 be a single or octave C, instead of a low fourth. Lastly, for some reason the flats of the R.H. Db and L.H. Ab in m39 beat 4.5 don't show up, but they are there. Maybe something that I can fix with the final formatting fixes.

As for Sunny Beach, I'll give it another look over at some point, but if it is unlikely to completed in the project timeframe (whatever that may be), I rather have you not start the review process and it can be skipped, no need to move it to the submissions section.

We don't have a set timeframe yet for the project, but I can see it taking more time than the Title Theme. If you prefer not having to spend much time on it, then I think we can agree on skipping that one.

[Fernman]

You could do something like this together with a pedal mark, and have it continue into the current first 4 measures too:

I like the intro now, should the pedal be held in 2 measure increments?
in m4, I had put beat 4 of the LH in the RH so the LH had more time jump to the Fn

We usually do use parentheses for optional notes yeah, but it's not something that is defined in formatting guidelines. It was an alternative I thought of myself, so I'd accept both ways ^^ It depends on what you prefer.

I'll defer to whatever you think is best since you know notation better.

Either way: the mordents you currently have are inverted mordents, we actually need the standard ones (so without the vertical line in the middle)

Interestingly Musescore calls the mordent you were looking for a "short trill"  and the inverted mordent I picked a "mordent"

everything else is implemented.


Separate question: can I substitute "Sunny Beach" for "Options Menu" from Wave Race? Even though submissions are closed?
if not, that's fine.
If so, would this arrangement be able to be finished in the project timeframe?
Options Menu MUS
I knowingly chose the melody and block chords over the 16th note runs and the bass pattern (except in measures 9-14) In my opinion the block chords raised on octave changes the entire feeling of the song and carrying that baseline all the way through the song gets boring quickly. the chords at least have some variety.

[Bloop]

Sorry for the wait! I've started working on a final formatting edit, which I added in the project folder here. I included some changes listed below, but let me know if there's something you want changed

I like the intro now, should the pedal be held in 2 measure increments?

One pedal throughout works too if you want!

in m4, I had put beat 4 of the LH in the RH so the LH had more time jump to the Fn

Both have their advantages and disadvantages. I personally would prefer keeping beat 4 in the L.H. and having the player decide for themself if they wanna play it in the L.H., but this way works too.
In the edit I kept it as is, but I put the F-Bb in beat 4 in a separate layer.

I'll defer to whatever you think is best since you know notation better.

I think I'd personally go to shrinking the notehead then ^^

Other things I fixed in the edit:
-The A in m6 beat 2 wasn't tied over in m7
-m29: Apparently the image sharing site doesn't keep my files up for that long lol, anyway in my screenshot I had R.H. beat 3 as A-F instead of F-C, as an end point for the grace notes.
-Fixed the rest placement in m33 L.H.
-Flipped staccatos at the end of m34 L.H.
-Edited the measure distribution so the notes aren't too squeezed together.

Separate question: can I substitute "Sunny Beach" for "Options Menu" from Wave Race? Even though submissions are closed?
if not, that's fine.

Since submissions are closed we won't be accepting substitute submissions, sorry!

[Fernman]

I'm good with your changes. Thanks!

[Bloop]

Awesome, then I can approve the Title Theme!

[Kricketune54]

• Small detail but usually don't include colons in the credits for the composer and arranger, not sure if that's a newer preference for you but I think it's a little unnecessary
• m4 the cresc. could go a little lower so it's not touching beat 4's note stem. Could also lower the forte in m5 to align with this change.
• RH m9 you could add an Fn grace note to 4.0


Things I think I can only change
• Tempo font is a bit big
• Top system on page 2 is a little high compared to the title
• adjust second voice staccatos so that they are centered over the notehead and not the stem.

[Fernman]

I'm good with your formatting changes and adding the grace note you mentioned. I don't know how to add a grace note in notepad.

[Kricketune54]

I'm good with your formatting changes and adding the grace note you mentioned. I don't know how to add a grace note in notepad.

Oh I'm not sure you can do that either...

I also caught it seems like the measure numbering was a bit off for whatever reason

Here is an updated file version. Let me know if anything needs to be fixed/updated from the previous files, otherwise I can replace the file in the project folder and accept the sheet

MUSX

PDF

[Fernman]

looks good to me.