ThatHiddenCharacter's Aquatic Update Project Sheets

[ThatHiddenCharacter]

For now I'm only going to put one here, but I may do a second one as well.

Cherry Lake - MUSX

[Latios212]

Just taking a peek, a couple passing comments:
- How would you feel about including the beat 2/5 hits in the m. 5-12 section where it makes sense to do so? I feel like that rhythm is pretty important to the sound here, and you could either write it in either the left or the right hand part, e.g. just another bass hit an octave up, in the left hand, or a harmony note or two in the right, without making this much more difficult.
- Having a Bbb chord in m. 37 is pretty weird, I would definitely recommend writing m. 37-38 using sharps instead - this would also make the transition from 38-39 smoother. m. 36 I think can stay as-is as a Db chord, although the walk down from Cb to An on the next page is kinda weird.

[ThatHiddenCharacter]

m. 36 I think can stay as-is as a Db chord,

I did actually change this as well because you're right about the Cb to An being weird. Especially taking the context of the entire descending line.

I've done the other changes as well. Plus a couple small things I noticed myself.

[Latios212]

I did actually change this as well because you're right about the Cb to An being weird. Especially taking the context of the entire descending line.

It's kind of weird for the right hand to be say F while the left hand says C# (this major third would make sense harmonically as C#-E# or Db-Fn) but it definitely makes more sense to read each hand independently this way, at least without any harmony written in.

Changes in m. 5+ look good as well! (Disclaimer, I haven't actually checked the sheet yet, was just commenting on stuff that stood out to me when I skimmed it)

[Kricketune54]

• m4 LH while it technically is sliding down to a Gn, I think that last note would work a little better transitioning to the next measure as an Ab. Listening to the bass in the original, I find Ab lines up also a bit more with the beat, and that the Gn is more at the very end of it. Same thinking would also apply to m52
• I think you could add a slur between the first note of an 8th note triplet where it's going from an unaccented note to a staccatoed one. (ex. m5).

Spoiler

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• m14 LH I hear an 8th note Ab at the end of the measure, sounds like the current note on beat two is just quarter length.
• m15 LH beat 1 layer 1 sounds like it's just a Bb dotted quarter like the current 2nd layer.
• m15 RH there is a Fn above the notes currently on beat 1.33, and I don't hear the Ab
• m18 RH beat 1.0 doesn't sound staccatoed, but the next two 8th notes do
• m23 RH should be down an octave
• m25-31 RH I am hearing some notes harmony notes that could be added underneath current melody notes.
• m25 LH not hearing a separate 8th note Bb at end of measure
• m37 RH beat 2.33 hearing a Bn not C#
• m37 LH technically there's no restrike of the An before the gliss
• m49-51, thoughts on adding some hand/stomp percussion for the LH (and RH as well for m50, maybe a clap to imitate the tom strike on beat two)? To emulate the drum beats and stuff, it's a bit empty without that stuff but not a stipulation for approval if you don't want to do it imo.