[NDS] Pokémon Black Version & Pokémon White Version - "N's Castle" (Replacement) by Latios212

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Pokémon
Game: Pokémon Black Version & Pokémon White Version
Console: Nintendo DS
Title: N's Castle
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Latios212


Replacement Information:
Links to Existing Sheet: MUS | MIDI | PDF
Replacement Type: Challenge (new arranger)

[Latios212]

Back where I started in 2015 submitting Pokémon replacements

A few notes with this one:
- The accidentals/intervals at the beginning are kind of gross but I don't think there's any way around that given they're tritones and also have some chromatic movement. I tried my best to keep it sensible looking.
- The trill at the end is supposed to apply to the A on the bottom of the RH chord (alternating with Bb). I think the way I wrote it is the best way to convey that, but the playback doesn't currently do so.

[Libera]

This looks pretty clean!  I just have a few comments.

-The way that the slurs in bars 13/14/24/26 interact with the articulations could be cleaned up a bit.
-Bar 18 beat 1 courtesy accidental on the Gb?
-Is there any way the gliss in bar 23-24 could be tidied up a bit so it isn't cutting through the key signature like that?
-I'm not 100% what's going on at the end of bar 28 but the Bn in the LH doesn't sound right to me, although it matches bar 3.  I think it might just be a Bb there, but it's kind of hard for me to hear.
-Also in bar 28 I think there should be an A on beat 7 RH.

[Latios212]

Thanks for the check!

-The way that the slurs in bars 13/14/24/26 interact with the articulations could be cleaned up a bit.

I moved the slurs on the outside of the accents. This has the adverse reaction of making the slur between m. 13-14 angle downwards instead of upwards, but I think otherwise they look fine now?

-Bar 18 beat 1 courtesy accidental on the Gb?

I'd want the reader to use the key signature to imply a reset rather than courtesy accidentals here, but yeah that GB is rather close to the previous Gn. Updated!

-Also in bar 28 I think there should be an A on beat 7 RH.

Wasn't too sure if there was something there but I like it for continuity reasons anyway. Added!

-Is there any way the gliss in bar 23-24 could be tidied up a bit so it isn't cutting through the key signature like that?

I... actually don't know. I've never come across a situation like this before. I could change the angling and raise it above the flat, but it wouldn't connect the noteheads as directly. I could also change the key signature one measure earlier, but that feels like a cop-out and it wouldn't coincide with the section change. Aside from that, was there an option that prevented lines from drawing through signatures? Even so, I'm not sure if breaking that line would look good. Open to suggestions if you have any xD

-I'm not 100% what's going on at the end of bar 28 but the Bn in the LH doesn't sound right to me, although it matches bar 3.  I think it might just be a Bb there, but it's kind of hard for me to hear.

- The trill at the end is supposed to apply to the A on the bottom of the RH chord (alternating with Bb). I think the way I wrote it is the best way to convey that, but the playback doesn't currently do so.

Sorry if that was confusing. Playback aside (I suppose I should try to find a way to fix that), do you think it's worth explicitly including the flat symbol on the trill? Probably your confusion over reading this is enough reason...

Files updated except for the last two items for now!

[Kricketune54]

Not much jumps out for this, nice

• m12 LH beat 2 should be dotted quarter rest
• for the melody going from m4 to m11 just wanted to highlight the arranging decision here. Initial urge was to suggest adding the choral notes for beat 1, but given that would lead to a lot of restrikes, this is probably the best way to write.
• m12 RH beat 2 and 4 hearing bell strikes for a third pitch, Fn on beat 2 and En on beat 4
• m14 RH similar, you could add Fn on beat 2, and En on beat 4
• m13 beat 4 the slur looks weird in finale... but is fine on the PDF. Not really anything to fix I guess just looks weird in the file in my finale version

[Latios212]

• m12 LH beat 2 should be dotted quarter rest

Oops, updated!

• for the melody going from m4 to m11 just wanted to highlight the arranging decision here. Initial urge was to suggest adding the choral notes for beat 1, but given that would lead to a lot of restrikes, this is probably the best way to write.

Yeah, I think the bell and arpeggios gets the point across well enough here and contrasts nicely with the rest of the piece where I included harmonies more liberally!

• m12 RH beat 2 and 4 hearing bell strikes for a third pitch, Fn on beat 2 and En on beat 4
• m14 RH similar, you could add Fn on beat 2, and En on beat 4

Ah yes! I also hear a G in m. 12 beat 3 which I added in too. (Not as sure if it's present in m. 14 as well)

• m13 beat 4 the slur looks weird in finale... but is fine on the PDF. Not really anything to fix I guess just looks weird in the file in my finale version

Yeah probably just a conversion thing. PDF reflects what my sheet is supposed to look like.

Thanks for checking, files updated!

[Kricketune54]

Ah yes! I also hear a G in m. 12 beat 3 which I added in too. (Not as sure if it's present in m. 14 as well)

I'm not quite sure I agree with m14 RH beat 3 on a relisten. Not hearing the Eb, I think Dn actually is more appropriate for this chord, as well as the Gn. At least to me, I don't hear m12 and m14 progressing entirely the same way. Hearing top to bottom Bb-Gn-Dn-Bb. See also the Smash 4 N's Castle version (not perfect comparison but about 0:30)

Spoiler

[close]

m19 LH beat 1 hearing Cb on bottom, not Db

[Latios212]

You're right about Dn instead of Eb in m. 14 beat 3. I'm not 100% sure about the G but it fits and sounds good to me so I've adjusted it!

m19 LH beat 1 hearing Cb on bottom, not Db

I don't agree with this one - the original piece actually sustains the Gb from the previous measure through beat 1 of this measure. I chose to write in the Db since I think it fits with the harmony best and is the fifth of the root there so it doesn't sound like a significant change like Cb would.

Files updated with m. 14, thank you for the attention to detail!

[Kricketune54]

Looks good! Approved

[Bloop]

Taking a quick look in place of Libera:

asn't too sure if there was something there but I like it for continuity reasons anyway. Added!
I... actually don't know. I've never come across a situation like this before. I could change the angling and raise it above the flat, but it wouldn't connect the noteheads as directly. I could also change the key signature one measure earlier, but that feels like a cop-out and it wouldn't coincide with the section change. Aside from that, was there an option that prevented lines from drawing through signatures? Even so, I'm not sure if breaking that line would look good. Open to suggestions if you have any xD

As far as I know I don't think there's a way to cut lines going through other objects, so I don't think there's another way to write the glissando than how you have it now. However, I personally find it a bit hard to play the glissando and then immediately jump to the chord on beat 1, especially if you want the glissando to go on until the E. Some alternative suggestions I could give:
-It's not entirely impossible to play the whole septuplet run (F-G-A-Bn-C#-D-E), but a bit hard to play the F-A-F afterwards still, which you could change to A-F instead?
-You could also write out the latter half of the run (from Bn or C# to the F-A-F in m24)

Sorry if that was confusing. Playback aside (I suppose I should try to find a way to fix that), do you think it's worth explicitly including the flat symbol on the trill? Probably your confusion over reading this is enough reason...

Libera was talking about the Bn at the end of the bar in the L.H. right, on beat 11? I have a bit of trouble hearing exactly what happens in the bass in the original (don't have any earbuds on me atm to check really closely) but it sounds like it might be doing C#-D-E too.
The trill btw looks fine to me without the flat symbol ^^

One other thing that might I noticed, sometimes I see staccato notes in compound times like these written as an 8th with two 8th rests, which might read a little bit easier than a staccato quarter note (especially when it's under a dotted quarter note in the R.H. like in m12)

[Latios212]

-It's not entirely impossible to play the whole septuplet run (F-G-A-Bn-C#-D-E), but a bit hard to play the F-A-F afterwards still, which you could change to A-F instead?

Ah, I like this! It makes sense to play it verbatim, and yeah I removed the lower octave F.

Libera was talking about the Bn at the end of the bar in the L.H. right, on beat 11? I have a bit of trouble hearing exactly what happens in the bass in the original (don't have any earbuds on me atm to check really closely) but it sounds like it might be doing C#-D-E too. The trill btw looks fine to me without the flat symbol ^^

Oh my bad, I misread that originally. Yeah I think C#-D-E sounds about right for the last few notes.

One other thing that might I noticed, sometimes I see staccato notes in compound times like these written as an 8th with two 8th rests, which might read a little bit easier than a staccato quarter note (especially when it's under a dotted quarter note in the R.H. like in m12)

I'm generally not a fan of how that creates a lot of eighth rests to wade through, but I agree it makes sense to do here where there's alternating long and short notes like in this piece. Updated all instances, and removed staccatos from those notes.

Files updated, thank you for the check!

[Bloop]

Ah, I like this! It makes sense to play it verbatim, and yeah I removed the lower octave F.

I hear Bn instead of Bb in the septuplet, but aside from that everything looks good!

[Latios212]

Ah whoops, that was a typo. Thanks for catching, it's updated ^^

[Bloop]

Awesome, then I'll accept!

[Zeta]

This submission has been accepted by Bloop.

~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot