Kricketune54's "Too Hot To Handle" Project Sheets

[Kricketune54]

Citadark Island - Pokémon XD: Gale of Darkness
[Dropbox]

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This is one I've had on my radar for a while - track plays on a volcanic island where you fight the game's final boss. Admittedly second page felt like it needed to turn into a duet with everything going on in the original but I think for m17-18 in particular I did the best you can with what goes on in the track. Still open to alternative ideas if anyone thinks there's a better way to go about it!

Magmoor Caverns Entrance - Metroid Prime
[Dropbox]

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Don't think I'm going to have time to get through Team Flare in time for the deadline, so going with something significantly simpler. I've also made a small key signature update in my XD sheet, from Bb to Eb for the final third or so of the arrangement.

[Bloop]

Citadark Island
-m3-4: I'm thinking of suggesting switching the L.H. of m3 and m4 around, so it starts at a higher register and jumps down an octave in m4. I think the lower register sounds fuller than the higher
-m6 and 8: What exactly do you want the performer to do with the "cymbal like clap"? Atm I can't think of an outside-of-piano percussive effect that would get the point across. My personal take would be to play the B's you defined as X-noteheads normally, with the lowest B on the piano as well for some depth (I can hear the bass drum/low brass or strings on beat 1 in these measures too)
-m9: Enharmonic spelling isn't really wrong, but the descending perfect 4ths on beat 3.5 look a bit weird. An alternate suggestion might be to write the D# and E as Eb and Fb, so the descending line Db-Ab-Eb looks a bit more natural.
-m10: I hear the descending line on beat 3 an 8th earlier (on beat 2.5)
-m11: Also an enharmonic spelling thing, from beat 4 until m11 looks pretty G#m or Emaj7 based. Aside from beat 1 and 1.25, all notes fit in the key of G#m. Also, this run actually starts on m12 beat 1, so I'd suggest writing it out like this
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-m13 and 15: The chords here are similar chords to m14 and 16, so they should be spelled the same/look the same too. You can do this with changing the D#'s to Eb's.
-m17-20: There really are a lot of different voices going on here haha. I do feel like the arrangement misses the distinction compared to m1-4, even with the trumpet B's. I'd suggest to forget about the staccato-ness of the notes and have the L.H. play a bass note (dotted whole note octave) on beat 1 and then have it play the staccato quarter note brass hits, so the R.H. can take 1 or 2 of the woodwind melodies in m17-18. For m19-20, you could do something akin to this (though it takes some practice, but it's definitely not impossible):
You cannot view this attachment. (though you could probably format it a bit better with rests etc)
An easier but less full way is something like this:
You cannot view this attachment.
Anyway, hope this gives some inspiration on how to tackle this part!
-m20: At the end of this bar, the little run up to Bb in the next part starts on beat 4.5 as a 16th triplet. I think it's best to write it up an octave as well, as the jump up to Bb is pretty awkward.
-m23-26: Maybe you can keep the Bb quarter notes running here like this:
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-m27-30: Also, I think you can add some more depth to these chords in the L.H. like this:
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I think this is more akin to what the original has too. The chords sound a bit fuller with the help of the RH. You could also add pedal marks or con pedale here.

[Kricketune54]

Citadark Island
-m3-4: I'm thinking of suggesting switching the L.H. of m3 and m4 around, so it starts at a higher register and jumps down an octave in m4. I think the lower register sounds fuller than the higher

Flipped around m3 and 4 LH

-m6 and 8: What exactly do you want the performer to do with the "cymbal like clap"? Atm I can't think of an outside-of-piano percussive effect that would get the point across. My personal take would be to play the B's you defined as X-noteheads normally, with the lowest B on the piano as well for some depth (I can hear the bass drum/low brass or strings on beat 1 in these measures too)

What I envisioned was someone arms out stretched like a percussive cymbal crash. Like this

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I guess it is too esoteric/bizarre of a choice even if I'm not the biggest fan of the B notes as a call and response type thing (changing the x's to normal notes), but I suppose it's the best way. This is why I hadn't done a XD Title Screen sheet yet because this part is also in that

-m9: Enharmonic spelling isn't really wrong, but the descending perfect 4ths on beat 3.5 look a bit weird. An alternate suggestion might be to write the D# and E as Eb and Fb, so the descending line Db-Ab-Eb looks a bit more natural.

Went with your alternate spelling

-m10: I hear the descending line on beat 3 an 8th earlier (on beat 2.5)-m11: Also an enharmonic spelling thing, from beat 4 until m11 looks pretty G#m or Emaj7 based. Aside from beat 1 and 1.25, all notes fit in the key of G#m. Also, this run actually starts on m12 beat 1, so I'd suggest writing it out like this

ah shoot you're right. This was a tough part to get a feel for given the lack of percussion. This spelling in m12 looks a lot better.

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-m13 and 15: The chords here are similar chords to m14 and 16, so they should be spelled the same/look the same too. You can do this with changing the D#'s to Eb's.

updated. Although I had this correct originally and had changed it at last second 

-m17-20: There really are a lot of different voices going on here haha. I do feel like the arrangement misses the distinction compared to m1-4, even with the trumpet B's. I'd suggest to forget about the staccato-ness of the notes and have the L.H. play a bass note (dotted whole note octave) on beat 1 and then have it play the staccato quarter note brass hits, so the R.H. can take 1 or 2 of the woodwind melodies in m17-18. For m19-20, you could do something akin to this (though it takes some practice, but it's definitely not impossible):

Spoiler

You cannot view this attachment.

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(though you could probably format it a bit better with rests etc)
An easier but less full way is something like this:

Spoiler

You cannot view this attachment.

[close]

Anyway, hope this gives some inspiration on how to tackle this part!

Thanks so much for the extensive work you did here - was definitely aiming for path of least resistance in hindsight but your creativity goes a long way here. I have made a couple pitch ups for 5.5 and 6.0 in m18 but otherwise have stuck to your examples. Lost the cresc. in doing so, but I think it makes the systems way too wide.

-m20: At the end of this bar, the little run up to Bb in the next part starts on beat 4.5 as a 16th triplet. I think it's best to write it up an octave as well, as the jump up to Bb is pretty awkward.

Hmm okay, I thought the triplet sounded a little slow when I tried it the first time, but listening again seems to be one. Had it at this octave because it seemed possible, but definitely easier to go from the lower RH layer in m20 up to the triplet than triplet at original octave to beat 1 m21.

-m23-26: Maybe you can keep the Bb quarter notes running here like this:

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I like this, it is distinctive from the original, but I think is good variety for m25-26

-m27-30: Also, I think you can add some more depth to these chords in the L.H. like this:

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I think this is more akin to what the original has too. The chords sound a bit fuller with the help of the RH. You could also add pedal marks or con pedale here.

Okay, like this as well

Thanks so much! Updated

[Bloop]

What I envisioned was someone arms out stretched like a percussive cymbal crash. Like this

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I guess it is too esoteric/bizarre of a choice even if I'm not the biggest fan of the B notes as a call and response type thing (changing the x's to normal notes), but I suppose it's the best way. This is why I hadn't done a XD Title Screen sheet yet because this part is also in that

Ah I see yeah, I think the clap is a bit too soft and short of an effect to really imitate the cymbal. If you want, you can add the lowest B on the piano as well, so it sounds a little bit harsher/white-noise-y than just a few B's in the middle-low register.

Thanks so much for the extensive work you did here - was definitely aiming for path of least resistance in hindsight but your creativity goes a long way here. I have made a couple pitch ups for 5.5 and 6.0 in m18 but otherwise have stuck to your examples.

Some comments (mostly on formatting since i didn't format that well in my examples):
-m17-m18: I do miss a bit of the low held note from m18 beat 5 onwards, maybe you could consider having these full two bars in a pedal mark (and notating the E octave as two tied dotted whole notes)? It will sound a bit full, but maybe that works for the busy orchestration.
-Make sure to flip the stems and articulations accordingly:
  -If there's only one voice in the bar, notes above the middle line should have their stems facing down, notes below the middle line should have their stems facing up. Articulations are always on the side of the notehead.
  -If there's two layers in the bar, the lower voice should have their stems facing downwards, the upper voice should have their stems facing upwards. Articulations are always on the side of the stem.
-If you want, you could keep switching clefs in m19-20 in the L.H., so it's easier to see which notes the L.H. has to play. Might look best to have some quarter rests in the L.H. above beats 1, 3 and 5 too
-Also I think you're missing an mf dynamic marking at m17?

Lost the cresc. in doing so, but I think it makes the systems way too wide.

You could add a text expression with "cresc." at m19 ^^ Might look better to do that at m3 too if you want, so it's consistent throughout the sheet.

[Kricketune54]

Some comments (mostly on formatting since i didn't format that well in my examples):
-m17-m18: I do miss a bit of the low held note from m18 beat 5 onwards, maybe you could consider having these full two bars in a pedal mark (and notating the E octave as two tied dotted whole notes)? It will sound a bit full, but maybe that works for the busy orchestration.

made the dotted whole notes as you've outlined, and added the pedal for the two full bars.

-Make sure to flip the stems and articulations accordingly:
 -If there's only one voice in the bar, notes above the middle line should have their stems facing down, notes below the middle line should have their stems facing up. Articulations are always on the side of the notehead.
  -If there's two layers in the bar, the lower voice should have their stems facing downwards, the upper voice should have their stems facing upwards. Articulations are always on the side of the stem.

Sorry not sure why didn't catch this initially but I guess it's from the fact the notes are flipping up due to the lower RH layer. Made some adjustments

-If you want, you could keep switching clefs in m19-20 in the L.H., so it's easier to see which notes the L.H. has to play. Might look best to have some quarter rests in the L.H. above beats 1, 3 and 5 too

-Also I think you're missing an mf dynamic marking at m17?

Oh yeah you're right. Fixed

You could add a text expression with "cresc." at m19 ^^ Might look better to do that at m3 too if you want, so it's consistent throughout the sheet.

Done! Thanks, file has been updated

[Bloop]

You can flip the top tie of the L.H. in m17 downwards, but aside from that I'll approve!
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[The Musical Poet]

cool

[Kricketune54]

Updated the tie

[Bloop]

Magmoor Caverns Entrance
-While the bass drum seems to be tuned a bit around the En, it sounds very jarring against the choir (especially the Eb). With unpitched percussion it's probably better to choose something closer to the key of whatever instruments are pitched, which in this case would be C. You could even put the song in Cm if you want. You could also leave the bass drum C's to just the lower octave, so they sound more rumbly.
-If you want, you could add "con pedale", which I think will add to the low bass drum hits: otherwise the staccato markings don't make a lot of sense.
-m7: Maybe you could add a C in some octave on beat 4 to imitate the cymbal hit?

[Kricketune54]

Magmoor Caverns Entrance
-While the bass drum seems to be tuned a bit around the En, it sounds very jarring against the choir (especially the Eb). With unpitched percussion it's probably better to choose something closer to the key of whatever instruments are pitched, which in this case would be C. You could even put the song in Cm if you want. You could also leave the bass drum C's to just the lower octave, so they sound more rumbly.

Yeah I suppose it is a bit too jarring. Cn isn't perfect either because of how m6 and m10 sound with that Db, but probably better than trying to pitch to the percussion.

-If you want, you could add "con pedale", which I think will add to the low bass drum hits: otherwise the staccato markings don't make a lot of sense.

Initially wasn't 100% with this, but I realize now the cymbal carries more than I think I thought at the time. Added con pedale, removed staccatos

-m7: Maybe you could add a C in some octave on beat 4 to imitate the cymbal hit?

Added this in. I also removed the C octaves from m5, 7-8, and m9, because I think it would be better to keep the lower pattern continuing all the way through (lmk of think it would be better to just have held C's instead)

Updated, thanks!

[Bloop]

Yeah I suppose it is a bit too jarring. Cn isn't perfect either because of how m6 and m10 sound with that Db, but probably better than trying to pitch to the percussion.

I don't mind the Db over C as much, because the percussion is now acting as a pedal point with the root, so it doesn't sound as weird as a pedal point with a note that functions differently in the different chords.

Initially wasn't 100% with this, but I realize now the cymbal carries more than I think I thought at the time. Added con pedale, removed staccatos

I didn't mind the staccatos and accent marks actually, there's a difference in sound and intention punching on those low octaves while holding the pedal, compared to just playing them normally. At least the accents would be nice to put back in ^^

Added this in.

Usually dotted rests are only reserved for rests that are smaller than the beat count (or equal the beat count, in cases like 6/8 where the beat is a dotted quarter note). In this case, the half rest should be a half rest + a quarter rest.

I also removed the C octaves from m5, 7-8, and m9, because I think it would be better to keep the lower pattern continuing all the way through (lmk of think it would be better to just have held C's instead)

You could keep the lower C's (possibly with parentheses) so it's at least clear how the voices move exactly. The player can then also focus more on the bottom octave rather than the top and bring it out more, if they want.

[Kricketune54]

I didn't mind the staccatos and accent marks actually, there's a difference in sound and intention punching on those low octaves while holding the pedal, compared to just playing them normally. At least the accents would be nice to put back in ^^

Added accents back

Usually dotted rests are only reserved for rests that are smaller than the beat count (or equal the beat count, in cases like 6/8 where the beat is a dotted quarter note). In this case, the half rest should be a half rest + a quarter rest.

Oh okay, good to know. I did not realize that was a standard thing, fixed. Also moved the half rest up to where the new quarter rest is.

You could keep the lower C's (possibly with parentheses) so it's at least clear how the voices move exactly. The player can then also focus more on the bottom octave rather than the top and bring it out more, if they want.

Added those C's back, with parentheses. File updated

[Bloop]

Oh okay, good to know. I did not realize that was a standard thing, fixed. Also moved the half rest up to where the new quarter rest is.

I think the half rest should actually be four ticks higher to be on the same relative height to the quarter rest; compare how high up the half rest and quarter rest in m2 are if you move them an equal amount of steps up.

I'll approve anyway, since it's not a big change ^^
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[Latios212]

Citadark Island

- 3/2 would be better than 6/4 for the intro and 17-20 (similar to how 3/4 is 3 groups of 2 vs. 6/8 is 2 groups of 3)
- Spacing is off in the second system
- The "Furioso" and segno marking could be nudged a bit further apart, they're kind of close together
- How about a crescendo in m. 16?
- I would recommend against flipping layer 1 downwards anywhere in m. 19-20 - it gets visually confusing with layer 2 jumping in and out.
- In the right hand, the first four eighth notes in m. 18 could use staccatos, as could the lone eighth note F's in m. 19-20
- The triplet at the end of m. 20 leading into the first note of m. 21 sound kind of odd raised up that high - thoughts about lowering them an octave back to their original position?
- I hear the chord in m. 25-26 inverted up once (Eb-Ab-Db from bottom to top)

[Kricketune54]

- 3/2 would be better than 6/4 for the intro and 17-20 (similar to how 3/4 is 3 groups of 2 vs. 6/8 is 2 groups of 3)

Hope I understood this correctly but changed to 3/2.

- Spacing is off in the second system

Oh good catch, fixed

- The "Furioso" and segno marking could be nudged a bit further apart, they're kind of close together

Moved segundo up a click or two and the Furioso down some clicks

- How about a crescendo in m. 16?

Yeah this makes sense, added

- I would recommend against flipping layer 1 downwards anywhere in m. 19-20 - it gets visually confusing with layer 2 jumping in and out.

Good callout, fixed this for both measures.

- In the right hand, the first four eighth notes in m. 18 could use staccatos, as could the lone eighth note F's in m. 19-20

F# , but yes staccatoed all mentioned. Do you think m18 beat 3-4 as well need them?

- The triplet at the end of m. 20 leading into the first note of m. 21 sound kind of odd raised up that high - thoughts about lowering them an octave back to their original position?

I'm not opposed to it, I just thought it was a little difficult

- I hear the chord in m. 25-26 inverted up once (Eb-Ab-Db from bottom to top)

Wow not sure why I didn't notice this haha, it makes sense with the previous chord. Fixed.

Thanks for your review! File is updated