Cashwarrior1 "Too Hot to Handle" Project Sheets

[Kricketune54]

Withered Savannah

When I started my feedback, I began first with the LH/bottom staff, so hopefully this isn't too much to parse through.

RH
• m2 RH 4.0 hearing An
• m11 RH lower layer technically the pitches move up a little here, you could have an A one octave up and a C below it.
• m18 RH 1.5 Bn is Bb. Beat 4.0 is similar to m2 RH in that it's an A, I think.
• Additionally I don't hear the added pitches for m18 4.0-4.5 and m19 1.0-1.5
• m33 lower RH layer beats 3 and 4 these should be A and F
• m35 RH top layer 4.5 is F#
• m39 RH top layer 4.5 is Bn
• m42 RH 4.0 G# is also above E on this beat
• m54 RH top layer beat 1 dotted half and tied note is a C# not Bn
• m56 top layer beat 3 grace note, hearing 3 grace notes, F-F#-G
• m57 RH top 4.5 this note isn't tied, restruck beat 1.0 in 58
• m59-62 RH extra notes on bottom of each chord: Bn, Bb, A, Ab


I would just not, when I specify a beat and the note is already a tied note, I'm also saying the note it's tied to is the pitch I'm hearing for the "starting pitch".
LH
• Lower layer m5, m7, m21 and m23 LH 1.5 hearing a D (maybe make it same octave as the upper layer D?), and 3.5 hearing E, and beat 4 F
• m6 Lower layer LH 3.5 hearing E
• m8 LH 3.5 hearing E
• Lower layer m13 and m15 LH 3.5 hearing F
• Lower layer m14 LH 2.5-3.5 hearing this as an 8th tied to quarter, and F instead of G
• m16 LH 1.5 hearing as an E (lower than G on 2.0)
• Lower layer m22 LH 3.5 hearing E
• m24 and m29 LH 3.5 hearing E
• m30 LH 1.5 note holds till 3.5, G isn't till beat 4.
• m59-65 LH are these notes following the rhythms of the percussion specifically? If that is the case, I would give a relisten, I think each of the rhythms is off a little from the drum's actual rhythms.
• m66 LH 4.5 hearing En

I want the right hand to play the chords on beat 1 in m1, m7, m17, and m21 but I'm struggling to find a clean way to notate that. Right now it's just in the bottom staff and I labelled it vaguely,

Didn't look into this too much for now, but I think this might be best way currently. 3 staffs seems a bit clunky.

Additionally I think current way song is keyless till m43 makes sense

[cashwarrior1]

• m11 RH lower layer technically the pitches move up a little here, you could have an A one octave up and a C below it.

I'm not gonna have the C restrike because it already plays in the melody and having the octave felt unecessary.

• Additionally I don't hear the added pitches for m18 4.0-4.5 and m19 1.0-1.5

So I relistened and didn't hear any different harmonies for b4-4.5, but I do hear the ones in m19 in the little bell instrument.

• m42 RH 4.0 G# is also above E on this beat

I didn't add that one to keep the string melody as the top note (also I think the contrast between that and the next part sounds cool).

• m56 top layer beat 3 grace note, hearing 3 grace notes, F-F#-G

I'm assuming you meant 2 grace notes? Unless you're saying the G restrikes?

• m57 RH top 4.5 this note isn't tied, restruck beat 1.0 in 58

So it does!

LH
• Lower layer m5, m7, m21 and m23 LH 1.5 hearing a D (maybe make it same octave as the upper layer D?), and 3.5 hearing E, and beat 4 F

omg i was reading bass clef wrong and was like "why are the notes you're saying not matching" 💀 Also, I'm assuming you meant beat 2.5? I chose to have the D play down the octave to continue that motion.

• m59-65 LH are these notes following the rhythms of the percussion specifically? If that is the case, I would give a relisten, I think each of the rhythms is off a little from the drum's actual rhythms.

Yeah it was sort of a vague suggestion of the percussion. I didn't want to include any of the sixteenth notes because I think that'd get too busy, but I did try and match it a little closer.

Updated.

[Latios212]

Holehills

Sorry, forgot to follow up on this one earlier! Your changes look good. Just a final tiny thing, there shouldn't be a comma in the composer info since there's an & sign, and it could be lowered a bit to be closer to the arranger info. I've made that tiny adjustment and converted files, let me know if anything doesn't look right. Accepted!

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[Kricketune54]

Withered Savannah

omg i was reading bass clef wrong and was like "why are the notes you're saying not matching" 💀 Also, I'm assuming you meant beat 2.5? I chose to have the D play down the octave to continue that motion.

Yep 2.5.

Yeah it was sort of a vague suggestion of the percussion. I didn't want to include any of the sixteenth notes because I think that'd get too busy, but I did try and match it a little closer.

yeah I figured it was that, just thought it could match up more with the actual rhythms. I'm good with the changes you made in that regard.

I'm assuming you meant 2 grace notes? Unless you're saying the G restrikes?

No I meant three grace notes, but to further clarify, I meant Gn. The half note is G#

• You could align the mp in m1 more to center over LH beat 1, but I suppose it's also fine to just line it up with the hand markings if that's desired.
• You could widen m36 system a little so it's 100% clear the staccatos are not on the top LH notes ever
• Just for clarification sake, I do hear an 8th note on 4.5 for most of the beat 4's for the m43-55 section (the measures like m43 or 44 with a quarter note on beat 4). Did you exclude those notes intentionally?
• m59-62 the cresc. and decresc. could go a little higher so they better line up with the dynamics, and also avoiding being so close at m62 LH 1.0

Getting nitpicky at the end there, haha, but I think that's all I've got. Nice job on this one

[cashwarrior1]

No I meant three grace notes, but to further clarify, I meant Gn. The half note is G#

Oop, so it is

• Just for clarification sake, I do hear an 8th note on 4.5 for most of the beat 4's for the m43-55 section (the measures like m43 or 44 with a quarter note on beat 4). Did you exclude those notes intentionally?

So I did exclude those intentionally, but I think I could add in some of them.

Updated.

[Kricketune54]

Yep, looks/sounds good with those added notes, approving Withered Savannah

[Latios212]

Withered Savannah

Some musical stuff:
- I think the A section (and the last 4 bars leading back into the loop) would be better written with one flat. The few B naturals in m. 1-4 and 17-20 sound borrowed from D Lydian, and the Bb/C/F chords fit nicely into F major, which it resolves to a couple of times.
- I'd recommend replacing or supplementing the tempo change marks with an (eighth = eighth) marking. The tempo isn't changing, just the meter.
- Thoughts about writing in a chord or something for the left hand of m. 58 instead of octave doubling the melody? It feels a bit harmonically empty there

Notes:
- In the left hand, the D's at the beginning of m. 1 and 3 and the end of m. 8 sound like they should be an octave down. Similar for 17/19/24
- The melody on beat 4 of m. 2 sounds like a quarter rather than two eighths (in contrast to m. 18 where I do hear two eighths)
- I'm hearing the RH phrase in m. 17-18 as inverted upwards once
- The triplet bass in m. 36 beat 4 is a descending F-C-F figure, if you want to write that in instead of restriking the bass. (Don't have to, I think the bass strikes are fine)
- For beats 3-4 in m. 33 I'm hearing G7, not so much the A you have written in the second layer. Thoughts about swapping them out for a lower D?

Small visual things:
- Remove the comma from the composer info
- Move the rest down a bit in m. 23 (here and m. 19 you could just combine layers if you want to avoid the dotted half rests)
- You could spread out the systems on page 2 a bit more, you have some extra space at the bottom (compare to page 2)
- Rest could go back onto the staff at normal height in m. 58

[cashwarrior1]

- I think the A section (and the last 4 bars leading back into the loop) would be better written with one flat. The few B naturals in m. 1-4 and 17-20 sound borrowed from D Lydian, and the Bb/C/F chords fit nicely into F major, which it resolves to a couple of times.

So I just found out that if you change key and click keep pitches the same chromatically, you don't have to go back through and fix everything 🙃

- The melody on beat 4 of m. 2 sounds like a quarter rather than two eighths (in contrast to m. 18 where I do hear two eighths)

omg that's just the delay playing there 😭

- I'm hearing the RH phrase in m. 17-18 as inverted upwards once

To me that entire section sounds like it's voiced the same, so if I were to invert it there, I feel like I'd have to invert it for the rest of that part. I think I'd rather have the melody on top, though.

- You could spread out the systems on page 2 a bit more, you have some extra space at the bottom (compare to page 2)

I'm assuming you meant to spread out systems on page 3

Updated.

[Latios212]

Sweet! Just a quick few follow-ups before I accept:
- The augmentation dot in m. 33 beat 3 is displaced since the second layer messed it up before

- I'm hearing the RH phrase in m. 17-18 as inverted upwards once

To me that entire section sounds like it's voiced the same, so if I were to invert it there, I feel like I'd have to invert it for the rest of that part. I think I'd rather have the melody on top, though.

I personally am used to hearing it differently, but that's fair!

- Thoughts about writing in a chord or something for the left hand of m. 58 instead of octave doubling the melody? It feels a bit harmonically empty there

Keeping this as is?

[cashwarrior1]

- Thoughts about writing in a chord or something for the left hand of m. 58 instead of octave doubling the melody? It feels a bit harmonically empty there

Keeping this as is?

Oh, I changed that to arpeggiating the F# minor chord

Updated.

[Latios212]

Ah, got it! Looks good then!

Small thing - spacing is off in the system around m. 29. I'll still move this to accepted and make sure that gest handled on file conversion.

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[Latios212]

Taken care of, moving this to complete!