[PC] Deltarune - "It's Pronounced "Rules"" by Kuppa

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Undertale
Game: Deltarune
Console: PC
Title: It's Pronounced "Rules"
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Kuppa

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[Kuppa]

Hey, here's the original song for reference!

[XiaoMigros]

Hi! Welcome to NinSheetMusic

The way the submissions process works is arrangers will give feedback on your sheet for you to take a look at (and implement, if you agree).
Once 2 updaters give their approval, your arrangement will be accepted, and put on the site in the next update!

Anyway..
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• m13: There's a rogue staccato on the last note in the RH, should probably be removed
• m14: The LH appears to be missing some slurs, and the RH has one too many
• m20-21: I hear this in the LH:
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• m22 & 30: I would write the RH as shown below, it's really close to a triplet but the G is distinctly on beat 4.5:
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• m24-25: I hear this in the LH:
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• m26: The Eb in the RH sounds to me like an Fn
• m28-29: I hear this in the LH:
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• m29: The En in the RH sounds to me like a Cn
• m31: I hear this in the LH:
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• I also don't hear a lot of the harmonies on the 2nd page that you have written, can you go over those again? Examples for what I hear in m20 and m27 are below, but really this affects the whole section of m18-m32..
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  m27

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[Kuppa]

Hey, thanks so much for the feedback!
I've taken it all on board and have been able to implement the changes you've suggested + re-transcribed the RH on measures 20, 24-25 (shown in the image below - ignore the top right measure).
I've updated my submission with the links to the new sheet so feel free to check it out if needed.
Thanks again!
 

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[Bloop]

Hi Kuppa, also a welcome from me! Xiao gave you most of the heads up about how we do things around here, so I'll get straight to the feedback:

-The articulation in the L.H. is pretty fun, but I actually just hear it all legato in the original. Up to you if you wanna change that or not ^^
-m15-16: You could add the harmony in the R.H. on beats 1 and 3 in these measures, that's still playable. In the L.H., you could just move the notes down an octave and remove the 8va: most players will be able to read the C and Bb octaves, and will recognize the Ab and G as octaves going down.
-m17: Since this is a cadenza, the rhythms don't have to be exact, but at least have a somewhat right ratio. In this case, I hear the F# and following G as a bit quicker than the other notes, so maybe you could just write this as quarter - 8th - 8th - quarter - quarter?
-m21 and 29: Maybe you could add a courtesy accidental Ab on the second triplet 8th in beat 4? Since the chord is A7 (or Am7), the player might confuse this for another An.
-m30: The rhythm in the R.H. here should be the same as in m22

[Kuppa]

Hey Bloop!
Thanks for the feedback! Been able to implement the changes as suggested with a few exceptions:

- Kept the articulation in the LH as I feel the staccatos when moving between chords helps with playability [and is also "pretty fun").
- The Cadenza is an interesting case - the suggestion you gave would work but it would affect the beats at the end of that measure if you wanted to keep that consistent ratio. I could sort it by changing the time signature just for that measure but I don't know how much it'll affect things overall. If you or any other updaters have any suggestions, I'm welcome to hear them.

All other suggestions have been added though and I've linked updated files on my submission.
Thanks again!

[Bloop]

- Kept the articulation in the LH as I feel the staccatos when moving between chords helps with playability [and is also "pretty fun").

That makes sense ^^

- The Cadenza is an interesting case - the suggestion you gave would work but it would affect the beats at the end of that measure if you wanted to keep that consistent ratio. I could sort it by changing the time signature just for that measure but I don't know how much it'll affect things overall. If you or any other updaters have any suggestions, I'm welcome to hear them.

The ratio doesn't have to be exact, but you could add "poco rit." somewhere in the measure if you want the slight slowing down.

Everything else looks good though, so I'll approve!
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[Kuppa]

Cool, thanks so much for all your help and feedback Xiao and Bloop!
Looking forward to seeing my first arrangement up on the main site

[PlayfulPiano]

One thing I noticed is that for m32/m33, the strings don't seem to fill out in the original, rather each individual note is added on top with emphasis on that newest note. I would personally have each note tied into the following chord, then break on the B natural for beat 4.5 of m33 as you already have written.

[Latios212]

Great first submission you have here

One thing I noticed is that for m32/m33, the strings don't seem to fill out in the original, rather each individual note is added on top with emphasis on that newest note. I would personally have each note tied into the following chord, then break on the B natural for beat 4.5 of m33 as you already have written

That is what the original's doing, but this also works nicely because the thickening texture can help convey the crescendo in a way that might get a little lost if you only play one note at a time. Either way is good, up to you! (If you go with the screenshot above, the ties leading into chords that are tied again should all face downwards, and the naturals should not be visible in the second measure.)

A few things:
- Beat 1 and 3 quarter notes in the right hand of m. 15 should point downwards
- Have you considered lowering the RH of m. 18 until 25 an octave like the voice is in the original, in order to contrast better with the following section? It does overlap with what you have currently written in the left hand, but some notes could be omitted in either part to prevent overlap. Up to you!

Other than that, it appears that some music spacing might have gotten messed up somewhere in the process - for example notice how m. 2 is fairly squished but has some extra space at the end. If you have Finale using the Simple Entry Tool and clicking somewhere in each measure should fix it. Otherwise, someone else can help with that. Also, the beam for the beat 3 eighth notes in m. 25 is abnormally high and should be lowered.

[Kuppa]

Hey! Thanks for your feedback 
Got a few things sorted:

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That is what the original's doing, but this also works nicely because the thickening texture can help convey the crescendo in a way that might get a little lost if you only play one note at a time. Either way is good, up to you! (If you go with the screenshot above, the ties leading into chords that are tied again should all face downwards, and the naturals should not be visible in the second measure.)

^
Yeah, I'd tried both options and found that this worked a lot nicer in terms of "conveying the crescendo" (and was also less messy).

- Stems in m15 have been fixed!
- Beaming in m25 lowered!
- Spacing has been sorted - see what you mean by how clumped it was in m2 (and similar bars) and the Simple Entry Tool has made a small but significant difference!

- Have you considered lowering the RH of m. 18 until 25 an octave like the voice is in the original, in order to contrast better with the following section? It does overlap with what you have currently written in the left hand, but some notes could be omitted in either part to prevent overlap. Up to you!

^
I was tempted to arrange it that way to provide some more variety but noticed that several notes did overlap and thought it'll be more playable if it was kept to the same pitch range as on the first page.

____

Files have been updated once again (v. 1.21 now) on the original submission if you want to check it out!
Thx again!

[Latios212]

Fantastic, the changes look great! Just one thing...

- Beat 1 and 3 quarter notes in the right hand of m. 15 should point downwards

My apologies, they were already flipped down and I meant they should point up. Should be ready to accept after that!

[Kuppa]

My apologies, they were already flipped down and I meant they should point up.

^
Haha, that makes much more sense!
No problem that's now been sorted (and files have been updated on the original submission again).

Thanks again for all the help!   

[Latios212]

You're welcome! :3 All good to go now, congrats on getting your first sheet accepted~

[Zeta]

This submission has been accepted by Latios212.

~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot